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 Unknown.. Chapter 1

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Broccoli
Regular Fantagian


Posts : 203
Join date : 2012-06-16
Age : 17

PostSubject: Unknown.. Chapter 1   Sun Jul 22, 2012 7:16 pm

Well Guys.. I was really bored last night so I decided to write a story On A Man named Steve (please suggest a last name I just realized sTeve collins is a comedy actor) Who thinks he witnessed a murder, but he's the murderer. So please Read.. proof-read. And Tips would be appreciated..

Spoiler:
 
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Harry
Ultimate Fantagian


Posts : 7654
Join date : 2012-07-16
Age : 17
Location : with you ;)

PostSubject: Re: Unknown.. Chapter 1   Sun Jul 22, 2012 8:00 pm

It's good. You just need to be a little more descriptive of the characters and scene. If you put how your main character was feeling it would make your story amazing.
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frost
Hero Fantagian


Posts : 6172
Join date : 2012-06-02
Age : 15
Location : hell

PostSubject: Re: Unknown.. Chapter 1   Sun Jul 22, 2012 8:12 pm

Hmm, great story!
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Broccoli
Regular Fantagian


Posts : 203
Join date : 2012-06-16
Age : 17

PostSubject: Re: Unknown.. Chapter 1   Sun Jul 22, 2012 8:24 pm

Tikaani wrote:
It's good. You just need to be a little more descriptive of the characters and scene. If you put how your main character was feeling it would make your story amazing.
Thank YOU SO MUCH! Please spread the word and get other people to comment on this please rlly need advice..
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Squirtle
Ultimate Fantagian


Posts : 8761
Join date : 2011-12-04
Age : 14
Location : Somewhere

PostSubject: Re: Unknown.. Chapter 1   Sun Jul 22, 2012 9:46 pm

i is really good but there are some spelling errors
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PostSubject: Re: Unknown.. Chapter 1   Today at 2:52 pm

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Unknown.. Chapter 1
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