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 Spirit of the Forest

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Rufistar
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Join date : 2012-06-14

PostSubject: Spirit of the Forest   Wed Sep 05, 2012 8:09 pm

It was a dark and stormy night.

Danari stood on the cliff, alone, looking at the moon. She did not know why she was outside in such a storm. All the other creatures of the forest were in their shelter, either burrows, caves, or under a leafy tree. But Danari was not like the other creatures of the forest. For one, she had a ram's horns and hind legs, but a dog's face and body. And wings. The only other creatures she knew that had wings were birds and bats. Danari seemed one-of-a-kind.

So she stood there. It made a strange silhouette, a ram-wolf in the light of the moon. Lightning flashed. A moment later thunder rumbled. It was really starting to rain now. Danari took one last glance at the moon, turned around, and flew into the forest.


Working on it...


Last edited by Rufistar on Wed Sep 05, 2012 8:30 pm; edited 1 time in total
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PostSubject: Re: Spirit of the Forest   Wed Sep 05, 2012 8:12 pm

So beautiful. I love the description.
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Rufistar
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PostSubject: Re: Spirit of the Forest   Wed Sep 05, 2012 8:16 pm

I'm going to change it to Damari since every time I read Damani I say Damari in my head. Should I?
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PostSubject: Re: Spirit of the Forest   Wed Sep 05, 2012 8:19 pm

Rufistar wrote:
I'm going to change it to Damari since every time I read Damani I say Damari in my head. Should I?
Do it. Its your story after all! Awesome awesome awesome!
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alex
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PostSubject: Re: Spirit of the Forest   Wed Sep 05, 2012 8:39 pm

This was very interesting! I love how you described her, it's interesting. c:

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tumblr / 내 호버크라프트는 장어로 가득 차 있어요. ㅡㅅㅡ
thank u elliot for the pic of me n my gf♥
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Cefie
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PostSubject: Re: Spirit of the Forest   Wed Sep 05, 2012 10:31 pm

Ooh, it's nice.
Well, we know nothing about her yet. Perhaps describe her through actions she does in the next scene?
What do you want happen to her?
How will she find the other wolves?
How will they be connected?
Please do not make this into one of those "i found another of my species its so amazing but i overexaggerate the emotions" thing.
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Rufistar
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PostSubject: Re: Spirit of the Forest   Tue Sep 11, 2012 8:43 pm

Not as good as the other entries, but oh well. Even Cefie's is better (even though I only read like two paragraphs). Cefie just please proofread I need a fresh eye.

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Anarchy
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PostSubject: Re: Spirit of the Forest   Tue Sep 11, 2012 10:56 pm

Make more! Best story I've read in a long time
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Cefie
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PostSubject: Re: Spirit of the Forest   Tue Sep 11, 2012 11:05 pm

-has proofread first part-
Psh. Is my story that long?
I've got a competitor for long..
Even though it's already entered, as a mid. school kid's rating out of 100

87/100
B+
Pretty good, considering with the time cinch you had.
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Rufistar
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PostSubject: Re: Spirit of the Forest   Tue Sep 11, 2012 11:20 pm

If it was summer I think I would've made it longer. But with homework and stuff... I want to kill you decimals.

Does it need more details or more story?

Maybe I'll make more for other pets. I don't know.
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Cefie
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PostSubject: Re: Spirit of the Forest   Tue Sep 11, 2012 11:46 pm

Le both
First paragraph was really good, tad bit more detail would have made it drearingly long like some intersting books are

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PostSubject: Re: Spirit of the Forest   Today at 11:06 pm

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