Fighting For Love: a story

Chapter one

There he is. His awesome blue eyes. Gawd he's so hawt. I wish he'd look into my eyes. Just for a second. That's all I needed. That will never happen though. Stupid Jenna. Jenna is the ONLY girl I freaking hate. She likes Hunter too. His black hair was so cutee! Who could nawt like Hunter? I mean seriousley? Hunter was dating Jenna, which sucks. I need to make my move though. It was the Sixth grade. A brand new year. First day of middle school to make an impression. Should I sit next to him? Say hi? Simply ask if he wants to go out with me? Nawt going to happen. He was in homeroom with me, and the teacher was assigning the seats. Oh gawd. ''Kylie,you are going to sit next to... Hunter. Ahh yes,Hunter.'',Mrs. Turner said. ''Uhh okay.'', I managed to reply back. CRAP! What was I going to do? Apparently this was the time to make my move. ''Hey.'', I said. He smiled.

Hm. Don't want to offend you but 'hawt' and 'nawt' aren't story words.
Second, the plot here is ovious. Girl likes boy, boy dating her enemy, they break up, annd end up together. Classical.
Also...I don't think that the main character in your story is not all that ''smart'' to like a guy just because he's hot, well, some guys don't like to be called hot either, some preffer 'cute' or 'sweet' or 'handsome' etc. She has to like his aspects, something you're not showing. Try giving it a little more pizzaz.

Chapter 2

Ohmehgawd. Hunter smiled at me. Was this a good sign? Or nawt? '' You look cute..'',He said. I blushed. Is this really happening? Was Hunter really going to ask ME out? I hope so. ''Thanks'', I smiled. ''So,um I need to ask you something after school. It's really important.'',He said. ''Oh um,sure.'',I replied back. ''Meet me by the gym after school.'',He smiled once more. ''Alright'', I smiled back. What was he going to say to me? Who knows. I was excited for 3:01 though. Class started. Who knows what she was talking about. I didn't care. I just wanted it to be 3:01. The best moment probably of my entire life.

alright i'll take that into consideration(:

Chapter two seems familiar, because it happened to me. Tacher changed the seats, guy says hi to me and smiled like a pedobear, after school he tells me he want to kiss me and I just keep playing hard to get.
loll (:

It was 3:01 finally. Hunter was standing there. Right next to the gym. I got the butterflies. ''Hey,um I wanted to ask you something.'', he said shyly. ''Kylie, will you stay away from me?'' NOT the words I was LOOKING for! ''What??'',I said surprisingly. ''Yeah, I can't hang out with you anymore. Jenna told me to stay away from you.'' I tear ran down my cheek. How was this possible? Hunter hugged me. He whispered something into my ear. ''We are friends. Remember that.'', he whispered. I want to be MORE than friends. Screw Jenna. It is on. Hunter is cute, nice, and sweet. I'm not gonna let him slip away from me. I just have to keep trying. This wasn't over. Not yet.