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 The Life of A Dreamer [[STORY BY RIBBON]]

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Primrose
Ultimate Fantagian


Posts : 8309
Join date : 2011-08-27
Age : 13
Location : District 12

PostSubject: The Life of A Dreamer [[STORY BY RIBBON]]   Wed May 29, 2013 7:23 pm

Chapter 1:
 

-------------------

This is all I've done so far. You can also see this at my Wattpad, I'm currently working at the cover of the book.
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Flynn
Legendary Fantagian


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Join date : 2012-01-14
Age : 17
Location : The gallows

PostSubject: Re: The Life of A Dreamer [[STORY BY RIBBON]]   Thu May 30, 2013 5:44 am

Okay, I'm going to have to say I'm not really a fan.

Mostly because this type of hospital drama is always the same.

. This "Dusk" guy dies, doesn't he?

. This is some made-up Victorian Drama Disease, isn't it?

. "Dawn" is going to flip out because she's supposedly dying and cry in her lover's arms for an hour, isn't she?

. This is going to have a so-called "bittersweet ending", isn't it? For example, the cute, lovable character dies a nasty death but everyone learns an important lesson from his demise?

. This is aimed at 10-13 year old girls, isn't it?

Sorry for being so blunt, but I kind of felt like saying this. If any of this offends you I'll take this to PM gladly.
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Primrose
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Join date : 2011-08-27
Age : 13
Location : District 12

PostSubject: Re: The Life of A Dreamer [[STORY BY RIBBON]]   Thu May 30, 2013 5:19 pm

Jeff wrote:
Okay, I'm going to have to say I'm not really a fan.

Mostly because this type of hospital drama is always the same.

. This "Dusk" guy dies, doesn't he?

. This is some made-up Victorian Drama Disease, isn't it?

. "Dawn" is going to flip out because she's supposedly dying and cry in her lover's arms for an hour, isn't she?

. This is going to have a so-called "bittersweet ending", isn't it? For example, the cute, lovable character dies a nasty death but everyone learns an important lesson from his demise?

. This is aimed at 10-13 year old girls, isn't it?

Sorry for being so blunt, but I kind of felt like saying this. If any of this offends you I'll take this to PM gladly.

well, most of that is quite true. but this is just the beginning. i don't find that offensive at all, just some critique to help me in the future.
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PostSubject: Re: The Life of A Dreamer [[STORY BY RIBBON]]   Today at 9:57 pm

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The Life of A Dreamer [[STORY BY RIBBON]]
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