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 ~Secret love~ a love story.

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kiki424
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PostSubject: Re: ~Secret love~ a love story.   Sat Jul 24, 2010 5:36 pm

soo awesome! Can't wait to hear more-ur such a good writer beauty :3
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Nakira
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PostSubject: Re: ~Secret love~ a love story.   Sat Jul 24, 2010 9:19 pm

2008sarah wrote:
Nice, note; you mispelled spirit at the end of chapter four. You could make your chapters alot longer, the detail was quite nice in chapter four though. About the English/British accent, I dunno. You changed some words up to make it so, but honestly I'd read a book or two with british characters before trying to write in that accent. They say alot of things differently.

Wicked,Mum,Wot wot!, Cheerio, Chaps, and they always talk perfectly. (as in you can just hear the perfect grammar in their voices, at least with some.)

Yeah, like that. Also, Brits eat mostly the same stuff as Americans, so they do eat sushi. Very Happy
Here's some British slang phrases:

Nang => cool
Mouldies => Parents
Ledge => Someone who is greatly admired; a legend
Clappin => out of date
Phat-free => uncool, rubbish
Shizzle => someone you really admire, as in “she’s a shiz”
Gratz => Thanks
Hench => a tough boy, as in a henchman
Cringe => embarrassment, as in “your parents are a cringe”
Antwacky => unstylish or old-fashioned
Cotch down => hang out, chill out or sleep
Klingon => younger children, like irritable young brothers
Flat roofin’ => overworked at school, stressed
Za => abbreviation for pizza
Fudge => a really stupid person, derived from the grades they might be expected to get in their exams: F, U, D, G, E
Zep => a yob or lower class person
Oudish => very cool, excellent
Tin-grin => Someone who wears braces

Here's a slang guide for us Americans: http://www.effingpot.com/slang.shtml

EDIT: BTW, your American characters don't have to use this slang. X3
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pokeranger
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PostSubject: Re: ~Secret love~ a love story.   Sat Jul 24, 2010 11:18 pm

Nice! But you shouldve added that you were poor in a prologue or introduction. And what happened to the boyfriend?
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FreedoM 4EVA
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Age : 19
Location : Earth

PostSubject: Re: ~Secret love~ a love story.   Sun Jul 25, 2010 1:27 am

Wow!!! Wonderful!

Waiting for more!
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Lyli
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Location : Peegale 5ever (that mean more than 4eva)

PostSubject: Re: ~Secret love~ a love story.   Sun Jul 25, 2010 9:43 am

pokeranger wrote:
Nice! But you shouldve added that you were poor in a prologue or introduction. And what happened to the boyfriend?

Okay, In the 1st chapter it says that they live in a cottage. A cottage is basically a 1 or 2 room house.

Trevor? Well, he broke up with Julia since her parents would never let her out of the house. Also, he was a jerk.
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Karen
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PostSubject: moar (:   Sun Jul 25, 2010 9:55 am

I NEED MOARRRR!
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Nakira
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PostSubject: Re: ~Secret love~ a love story.   Sun Jul 25, 2010 12:06 pm

I liked the fact that you used a bit more description. Can't wait for Chapter 5! :3
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Bluerivers1
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PostSubject: Re: ~Secret love~ a love story.   Sun Jul 25, 2010 12:40 pm

terrficc!
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Bloobu
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PostSubject: Re: ~Secret love~ a love story.   Sun Jul 25, 2010 12:41 pm

Nakira wrote:
2008sarah wrote:
Nice, note; you mispelled spirit at the end of chapter four. You could make your chapters alot longer, the detail was quite nice in chapter four though. About the English/British accent, I dunno. You changed some words up to make it so, but honestly I'd read a book or two with british characters before trying to write in that accent. They say alot of things differently.

Wicked,Mum,Wot wot!, Cheerio, Chaps, and they always talk perfectly. (as in you can just hear the perfect grammar in their voices, at least with some.)

Yeah, like that. Also, Brits eat mostly the same stuff as Americans, so they do eat sushi. Very Happy
Here's some British slang phrases:

Nang => cool
Mouldies => Parents
Ledge => Someone who is greatly admired; a legend
Clappin => out of date
Phat-free => uncool, rubbish
Shizzle => someone you really admire, as in “she’s a shiz”
Gratz => Thanks
Hench => a tough boy, as in a henchman
Cringe => embarrassment, as in “your parents are a cringe”
Antwacky => unstylish or old-fashioned
Cotch down => hang out, chill out or sleep
Klingon => younger children, like irritable young brothers
Flat roofin’ => overworked at school, stressed
Za => abbreviation for pizza
Fudge => a really stupid person, derived from the grades they might be expected to get in their exams: F, U, D, G, E
Zep => a yob or lower class person
Oudish => very cool, excellent
Tin-grin => Someone who wears braces

Here's a slang guide for us Americans: http://www.effingpot.com/slang.shtml

EDIT: BTW, your American characters don't have to use this slang. X3


i havent EVER heard any of those slang before

my advice for british accent is to be a bit posh?? if you dont want an accent then just talk normally, after all, both america and britain speak english just a few different words example,

trainers= sneakers
mum= mom

they're all i can think of at the moment xD

still good luck with the accent and i absolutley LOVE your story
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Nakira
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Age : 20
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PostSubject: Re: ~Secret love~ a love story.   Sun Jul 25, 2010 12:49 pm

bloobunny99 wrote:
Nakira wrote:
2008sarah wrote:
Nice, note; you mispelled spirit at the end of chapter four. You could make your chapters alot longer, the detail was quite nice in chapter four though. About the English/British accent, I dunno. You changed some words up to make it so, but honestly I'd read a book or two with british characters before trying to write in that accent. They say alot of things differently.

Wicked,Mum,Wot wot!, Cheerio, Chaps, and they always talk perfectly. (as in you can just hear the perfect grammar in their voices, at least with some.)

Yeah, like that. Also, Brits eat mostly the same stuff as Americans, so they do eat sushi. Very Happy
Here's some British slang phrases:

Nang => cool
Mouldies => Parents
Ledge => Someone who is greatly admired; a legend
Clappin => out of date
Phat-free => uncool, rubbish
Shizzle => someone you really admire, as in “she’s a shiz”
Gratz => Thanks
Hench => a tough boy, as in a henchman
Cringe => embarrassment, as in “your parents are a cringe”
Antwacky => unstylish or old-fashioned
Cotch down => hang out, chill out or sleep
Klingon => younger children, like irritable young brothers
Flat roofin’ => overworked at school, stressed
Za => abbreviation for pizza
Fudge => a really stupid person, derived from the grades they might be expected to get in their exams: F, U, D, G, E
Zep => a yob or lower class person
Oudish => very cool, excellent
Tin-grin => Someone who wears braces

Here's a slang guide for us Americans: http://www.effingpot.com/slang.shtml

EDIT: BTW, your American characters don't have to use this slang. X3


i havent EVER heard any of those slang before

my advice for british accent is to be a bit posh?? if you dont want an accent then just talk normally, after all, both america and britain speak english just a few different words example,

trainers= sneakers
mum= mom

they're all i can think of at the moment xD


Really? Wow, I fail. XDDD I recommend listening to the actual Brit here, bloobunny. ^.^'''
still good luck with the accent and i absolutley LOVE your story


Last edited by Nakira on Wed Jul 28, 2010 12:02 am; edited 1 time in total
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bluesea
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Posts : 399
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Age : 20
Location : Happy Land :)

PostSubject: Re: ~Secret love~ a love story.   Mon Jul 26, 2010 9:59 am

i love ur stories!!!! cant wait for next chapters!!

u dont ave to use slang if u dont no much, its fine as it is. (:
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metro99
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Posts : 399
Join date : 2010-07-22
Age : 18
Location : Somewhere in the Universe!

PostSubject: Re: ~Secret love~ a love story.   Mon Jul 26, 2010 10:37 am

I love your stories make the next chapter soon your stories are awesome
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Lyli
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Posts : 1149
Join date : 2010-01-30
Location : Peegale 5ever (that mean more than 4eva)

PostSubject: Re: ~Secret love~ a love story.   Thu Aug 05, 2010 11:38 am

Hey guys [:

Sorry I haven't written a chapter in forever~!

I promise I'll write more soon x3
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pokeranger
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Posts : 5449
Join date : 2010-01-29
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PostSubject: Re: ~Secret love~ a love story.   Thu Aug 05, 2010 12:05 pm

OK! x3 Havent seen a lot in a while. x3
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Lyli
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PostSubject: Re: ~Secret love~ a love story.   Thu Aug 05, 2010 1:42 pm

Chapter 5 is posted [:
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Nakira
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PostSubject: Re: ~Secret love~ a love story.   Thu Aug 05, 2010 1:49 pm

"Get a room!"

Haha, I love that part. XD
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Lyli
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PostSubject: Re: ~Secret love~ a love story.   Fri Aug 06, 2010 3:48 pm

Chapter 7 ish posted
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Nakira
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PostSubject: Re: ~Secret love~ a love story.   Fri Aug 06, 2010 5:22 pm

Good chapter, I'd like to see some more thoughts descriptions etc, because there's a lot of dialogue. Can't wait for more! :3
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Lyli
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PostSubject: Re: ~Secret love~ a love story.   Mon Aug 09, 2010 4:44 pm

The next chapter will come out soon.

But, I'm still writing it x3
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kanna276
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PostSubject: Re: ~Secret love~ a love story.   Mon Aug 09, 2010 4:52 pm

Nakira wrote:
bloobunny99 wrote:
Nakira wrote:
2008sarah wrote:
Nice, note; you mispelled spirit at the end of chapter four. You could make your chapters alot longer, the detail was quite nice in chapter four though. About the English/British accent, I dunno. You changed some words up to make it so, but honestly I'd read a book or two with british characters before trying to write in that accent. They say alot of things differently.

Wicked,Mum,Wot wot!, Cheerio, Chaps, and they always talk perfectly. (as in you can just hear the perfect grammar in their voices, at least with some.)

Yeah, like that. Also, Brits eat mostly the same stuff as Americans, so they do eat sushi. Very Happy
Here's some British slang phrases:

Nang => cool
Mouldies => Parents
Ledge => Someone who is greatly admired; a legend
Clappin => out of date
Phat-free => uncool, rubbish
Shizzle => someone you really admire, as in “she’s a shiz”
Gratz => Thanks
Hench => a tough boy, as in a henchman
Cringe => embarrassment, as in “your parents are a cringe”
Antwacky => unstylish or old-fashioned
Cotch down => hang out, chill out or sleep
Klingon => younger children, like irritable young brothers
Flat roofin’ => overworked at school, stressed
Za => abbreviation for pizza
Fudge => a really stupid person, derived from the grades they might be expected to get in their exams: F, U, D, G, E
Zep => a yob or lower class person
Oudish => very cool, excellent
Tin-grin => Someone who wears braces

Here's a slang guide for us Americans: http://www.effingpot.com/slang.shtml

EDIT: BTW, your American characters don't have to use this slang. X3


i havent EVER heard any of those slang before

my advice for british accent is to be a bit posh?? if you dont want an accent then just talk normally, after all, both america and britain speak english just a few different words example,

trainers= sneakers
mum= mom

they're all i can think of at the moment xD


Really? Wow, I fail. XDDD I recommend listening to the actual Brit here, bloobunny. ^.^'''
still good luck with the accent and i absolutley LOVE your story

U should hear Selena Gomez do a british accent it's so funny x3 anyways wait wait for next chapters =3
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TaylorFox00
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PostSubject: Re: ~Secret love~ a love story.   Mon Sep 13, 2010 5:28 pm

I iz wantingz moarz!! Great story! I read it with my best Harry Potter accents!!! geek
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