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 Valance {story by faults}

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flower
Hero Fantagian


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Join date : 2012-12-20
Age : 15

PostSubject: Valance {story by faults}   Tue Feb 04, 2014 8:36 am

"Mom, why can't I go play with the other children?" I asked, even though I already knew what the answer would be, if my mother chooses to give me one at all. She barely glanced at me, her hands still at work, threading the needles of my ripped blouse. "Those other children won't like you, Coraline." She snapped, dropping the pointed needle and thin train of pink thread into her lap, carefully folding the blouse. "You're different. They'll all hate you! That's why you'll stay with me." She said, motioning me towards her. The words didn't hurt me anymore, but as my mother wrapped her thin arms around me and held me tight, my eyes trailed to the window, watching all the other young children toss a ball between one another, or play with their dolls, I thought about how lovely it would be to join them.

But it wasn't until years later that I would realize my mother was right.

Seven years later;

Emile's eyes shined like shimmering rubies as I demonstrated the magic In front of her, the black tornado dancing among the surface of my hand. Then, with a curl of my wrist, it was gone, Emile's mouth dropping open as I smirked with pride. "Sister, will I learn how to do that some day?" She moaned, dropping flat onto her rickety bed, the grey sheets crumpling under her body. At only six, Emile didn't have to know much about magic, as it hadn't quite formed in her veins yet. However, when she became a young witch at my age, 16, she'd have to know how to control and use whatever element she received. It's a lot of responsibility, but that's just the way things are.
For years, my family has gotten black magic, dangerous if the user didn't know how to control it. One wrong move and it could destroy you. If you could control it, though, you'd be guaranteed a life of strength and beautiful magic. There's only one flaw to becoming a Valance witch, though; we're not allowed to go outside. Black magic is poisonous to humans; it could kill them In a second. When I was six and it was discovered I had black magic, I was sealed inside. Emile's magic was to be discovered in a few days. I was almost certain she would be Valance like the rest of us. But almost is never enough.
I'll edit this later. Feedback, please? Sorry if there grammar and spelling mistakes; I'm using my iPad. Also, just to clarify, a Valance witch is a witch who uses dark magic.
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Officer Number Two
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PostSubject: Re: Valance {story by faults}   Tue Feb 04, 2014 5:41 pm

Wow, this is really good! You did a great job introducing the story and doing it in an interesting way that grabs a person's attention. It sounds like a good plotline! c:
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flower
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Posts : 7480
Join date : 2012-12-20
Age : 15

PostSubject: Re: Valance {story by faults}   Fri Feb 07, 2014 6:26 am

Cookie~ wrote:
Wow, this is really good! You did a great job introducing the story and doing it in an interesting way that grabs a person's attention. It sounds like a good plotline! c:

Thank you! Should I continue it? c:
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PostSubject: Re: Valance {story by faults}   Fri Feb 07, 2014 1:00 pm

I think you should, although it's really your choice.
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PostSubject: Re: Valance {story by faults}   Today at 9:03 pm

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