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 THE STORY OF LUCKY BOB PLZ READ

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juliajuljulia
Loyal Fantagian
juliajuljulia

Posts : 1516
Join date : 2010-07-08
Age : 24
Location : Mars

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PostSubject: THE STORY OF LUCKY BOB PLZ READ   THE STORY OF LUCKY BOB PLZ READ EmptySun Aug 22, 2010 6:25 pm

Here's my story of lucky bob tell me wat u think and plz rate i submitted it to the writers den and hope it wins lol
so read the spoilers
The Story of Lucky Bob
By Juliajuljulia

Spoiler:
 

EDIT: im changin the story to make it more interesting!
ps the chhange is in the spoiler
Spoiler:
 
PLEASE RATE MY STORY.. BOTH... AND I APPRECIATE CRITICISM


Last edited by juliajuljulia on Mon Aug 23, 2010 7:05 am; edited 1 time in total
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coolkat1124
Regular Fantagian
coolkat1124

Posts : 192
Join date : 2010-07-21
Age : 24
Location : doesnt matter ;)

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PostSubject: Re: THE STORY OF LUCKY BOB PLZ READ   THE STORY OF LUCKY BOB PLZ READ EmptySun Aug 22, 2010 6:45 pm

ehh 6 / 10 and lots of errors and stuff but good for your first time
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juliajuljulia
Loyal Fantagian
juliajuljulia

Posts : 1516
Join date : 2010-07-08
Age : 24
Location : Mars

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PostSubject: Re: THE STORY OF LUCKY BOB PLZ READ   THE STORY OF LUCKY BOB PLZ READ EmptySun Aug 22, 2010 6:46 pm

thnx a lot coolkat
sarcastic
but thnx for commmentin i guess
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Karen
Former Staff
Former Staff
Karen

Posts : 1530
Join date : 2010-01-29
Age : 19
Location : unicorns

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PostSubject: Re: THE STORY OF LUCKY BOB PLZ READ   THE STORY OF LUCKY BOB PLZ READ EmptySun Aug 22, 2010 7:44 pm

8/10. Kinda bland, but I like the story. It's sort of easy to guess what happens, but it's still good Smile
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juliajuljulia
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juliajuljulia

Posts : 1516
Join date : 2010-07-08
Age : 24
Location : Mars

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PostSubject: Re: THE STORY OF LUCKY BOB PLZ READ   THE STORY OF LUCKY BOB PLZ READ EmptySun Aug 22, 2010 7:46 pm

thnx ric i appreciate it do u think i have a chance of gettin it mentioned?
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Forever Forgotten
Senior Fantagian
Forever Forgotten

Posts : 428
Join date : 2010-07-22
Age : 22
Location : Blasting around the universe with Kirby

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PostSubject: Re: THE STORY OF LUCKY BOB PLZ READ   THE STORY OF LUCKY BOB PLZ READ EmptySun Aug 22, 2010 7:46 pm

Wow great story! Smile
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juliajuljulia
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juliajuljulia

Posts : 1516
Join date : 2010-07-08
Age : 24
Location : Mars

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PostSubject: Re: THE STORY OF LUCKY BOB PLZ READ   THE STORY OF LUCKY BOB PLZ READ EmptySun Aug 22, 2010 7:47 pm

thnx so much do u think i have a chance of winnin?
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Valval
Loyal Fantagian
Valval

Posts : 1994
Join date : 2010-01-26
Location : rainbow road♥

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PostSubject: Re: THE STORY OF LUCKY BOB PLZ READ   THE STORY OF LUCKY BOB PLZ READ EmptySun Aug 22, 2010 10:02 pm

I agree with ric, its a bit bland and not much plot..

I'd rate a 7/10 (im being honest, 'kay?)
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juliajuljulia
Loyal Fantagian
juliajuljulia

Posts : 1516
Join date : 2010-07-08
Age : 24
Location : Mars

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PostSubject: Re: THE STORY OF LUCKY BOB PLZ READ   THE STORY OF LUCKY BOB PLZ READ EmptySun Aug 22, 2010 10:09 pm

i was lookin at the entries that won and they just made fantage look good so i just did that and maybe ill write another
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Bloobu
Dedicated Fantagian
Bloobu

Posts : 1100
Join date : 2010-06-05
Age : 20

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PostSubject: Re: THE STORY OF LUCKY BOB PLZ READ   THE STORY OF LUCKY BOB PLZ READ EmptyMon Aug 23, 2010 5:46 am

its all like happy happy and not really a plot so i would say make a plot where umm bob gets robbed? something like that XD but better

8/10 overall and for trying Wink
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juliajuljulia
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juliajuljulia

Posts : 1516
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Age : 24
Location : Mars

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PostSubject: Re: THE STORY OF LUCKY BOB PLZ READ   THE STORY OF LUCKY BOB PLZ READ EmptyMon Aug 23, 2010 6:23 am

fine maybe ill ad part where he gets robbed
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TaylorFox00
Senior Fantagian
TaylorFox00

Posts : 296
Join date : 2010-09-08
Age : 19
Location : Sitting in front of Media Molecule's office until they release Little Big Planet 2.

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PostSubject: Re: THE STORY OF LUCKY BOB PLZ READ   THE STORY OF LUCKY BOB PLZ READ EmptyMon Sep 13, 2010 4:57 pm

I would say 8/10 for the second one, I didnt read the first one.
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