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 The one who laughs last

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Makkine
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PostSubject: Re: The one who laughs last   Sun Oct 17, 2010 12:24 pm

I need to get the plot sarted soon, which is why I need to explain a couple of things... and
Spoiler:
 
No, that isn't really a spoiler, since it's not really important, but I assume some of you guys thought that.. You know...

"Mr. Thernall looked at Julia smiled shyly, and nearly walked into the wall, shortly before a clumsy turn." I agree. It is certainly the height of literative achievment. (God, I feel snarky today and I don't know why)
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Nakira
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PostSubject: Re: The one who laughs last   Sun Oct 17, 2010 12:54 pm

Puppets can be really scary. o_o

*applauds* TRULY A WORK OF ART. I SHALL HAVE THAT SENTENCE TATTOOED ON MY BUTT SOMEDAY. >7< 8D

(Snarkyness is fun. Derpy derp derp. :3)
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Makkine
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PostSubject: Re: The one who laughs last   Fri Oct 29, 2010 6:55 pm

Spoiler:
 

New chapter! I think this might be the longest one yet. Also, new characters! I won't be introducing any more charatcers from now on, trust me, and I will upload a pic of them soon.

Meh, I'm not proud of this chapter. Too messy, i think. I didn't plan it well beforehand.

EDIT: Here is the picture, it has all the characters, left to right top to bottom they are: Mr. Thernal, Ms. Ambersalde, Mr. Somque, Julia, Marcus, and Sarah.
Spoiler:
 

I hate the color of Mr. Thernal's hair, it's too orange, and not blond enough. You see, it's supposed to be a light brown-blondish color. Mr. Somque's body proportions are nothing to be proud of, either. And Marcus's eyes are too large. However, this is a fairly good picture, and I am especially proud of Ms. Ambersalde (Nailed that sarcastic grin!) Julia (she looks exsactly liked I imagined her), and a non-colored Mr. Thernal. Only I ruined it with color.
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Nakira
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PostSubject: Re: The one who laughs last   Sun Oct 31, 2010 1:06 pm

The way you write dialogue is just amazing. I can tell what the some of the characters' personality traits are just by reading their dialogue. *7*
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nymphie
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PostSubject: Re: The one who laughs last   Sun Oct 31, 2010 10:26 pm

i totally helped you with it i caught where i did!
lol awesome thx
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Makkine
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PostSubject: Re: The one who laughs last   Sun Nov 07, 2010 8:30 pm

Chapter 9
Spoiler:
 
Chepter nine. This one is the longest yet. I'm really sorry for the lenght, they'll be shorter next time. And the plot will finally beggin to start.

And yes, this is stupid. The last three or so chapters have been a nightmare. I can't write exposition. Plot and characterization are my strengths. eXposition? In your dreams, foo. And this is the worst chapter out of the three/four chapters. *sigh*
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Nakira
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PostSubject: Re: The one who laughs last   Fri Nov 12, 2010 9:15 pm

Stupid? I must disagree. Your style of writing is so eloquent and smart and gyahhhh I love it~. Also, what's expositions? /stupid question
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Makkine
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PostSubject: Re: The one who laughs last   Sat Nov 13, 2010 4:07 pm

According to TvTropes: "Exposition is a literary tool that is used to give information to the audience through dialogue, description, flashback, or narrative.". I was going to quote the Wikipedia article instead, but it kept going on and on about rhethorical devices without really explaining anything. And it was longer than a sentence.

Chapter 10
Spoiler:
 
A'ight, if anyone other than Nakira reads my story, please say so. I'm thinking about stopping posting it on FF (though still continuing it in my harddrive), but I guess that if many people read it and enjoy it, then not. Nakira, if you really really really really like it, there's this thing called "Private Messages". I think you've forgotten about them?

Also, yey. Plot! Is! Epic! I was getting tired of infodumps I couldn't pull of.
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PostSubject: Re: The one who laughs last   Today at 2:59 am

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