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 Taylor's Story

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TaylorFox00
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PostSubject: Taylor's Story   Sat Sep 11, 2010 10:48 pm

This is the story Of Taylor Fox, getting through her life in Fantage.
Chapter 1
Blindness and Bosses
Taylors POV
Spoiler:
 
Chapter 2
Rescued and Removal
Taylors POV
Spoiler:
 
Chapter 3
Oh, Not AGAIN and Overworked Nons
Spoiler:
 
Chapter 4, Path 1.
Unknown feelings and Uhhhhh... what happened?
Spoiler:
 
Things will be explained in Chapter 5, Sound and Siblings, Path 1.
Chapter 5, Path 1.
Sound and Siblings.
Spoiler:
 
Chapter 4, Path 2 ( read Chapter 3 first! )
Julia's Path Begins
Spoiler:
 


Chapter 6
Path1
War and a Walk. ( finally! '>o< )
Megans POV
Spoiler:
 
I try to make a new chapter every day!


Last edited by TaylorFox00 on Sat Oct 23, 2010 12:47 am; edited 16 times in total
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juliajuljulia
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PostSubject: Re: Taylor's Story   Sat Sep 11, 2010 10:52 pm

good story
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Karen
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PostSubject: Re: Taylor's Story   Sat Sep 11, 2010 11:14 pm

Awesome story! Smile
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v
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PostSubject: Re: Taylor's Story   Sat Sep 11, 2010 11:28 pm

Nice start! Can't wait for more~ C:

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allme3724
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PostSubject: Re: Taylor's Story   Sun Sep 12, 2010 2:34 am

awesome job u inspired me sorta jk but aweosme job tho hmm maybe i should do one too
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Nakira
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PostSubject: Re: Taylor's Story   Mon Sep 13, 2010 7:03 pm

Good story! Although it's not in a Neutral POV, it's in Taylor's POV. Very Happy
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Makkine
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PostSubject: Re: Taylor's Story   Mon Sep 13, 2010 7:07 pm

I love this! It is reminiscent of Nakira's story, did you use it as inspiration? However, the tone is completely different, only two chapters and I'm already familiarized with your writing style!

Maybe you should learn where paragraphs are, because it's hard to read soemtimes, with too many run-on sentences and chunks of text. Also, I feel your prose a little non-descript. That would work for a minimalist story, but here I think you need more detail. For example, instead of saying "It hurt a lot" say "The searing pain tore through my retina blabablbalbla" Only less like Sharp's siggy.

9-10, but 8-10 due to grammar.
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Oliver
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PostSubject: Re: Taylor's Story   Mon Sep 13, 2010 7:41 pm

I would have liked it if your character was blind, it would have added a beautiful detail.
Do you mind if I do one like this? With a blind character?
Anyways, LOVE the idea.
9/10

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TaylorFox00
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PostSubject: Re: Taylor's Story   Mon Sep 13, 2010 8:48 pm

Timegear wrote:
I would have liked it if your character was blind, it would have added a beautiful detail.
Do you mind if I do one like this? With a blind character?
Anyways, LOVE the idea.
9/10
Thats a great Idea! I'll be sure to read it Razz
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v
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PostSubject: Re: Taylor's Story   Mon Sep 13, 2010 8:49 pm

Wow, that is amazing. I love it. C:

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TaylorFox00
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PostSubject: Re: Taylor's Story   Mon Sep 13, 2010 8:50 pm

IluvJB36 wrote:
I love this! It is reminiscent of Nakira's story, did you use it as inspiration? However, the tone is completely different, only two chapters and I'm already familiarized with your writing style!

Maybe you should learn where paragraphs are, because it's hard to read soemtimes, with too many run-on sentences and chunks of text. Also, I feel your prose a little non-descript. That would work for a minimalist story, but here I think you need more detail. For example, instead of saying "It hurt a lot" say "The searing pain tore through my retina blabablbalbla" Only less like Sharp's siggy.

9-10, but 8-10 due to grammar.
Ok, Ill fix some stuff and make it more interesting Very Happy , and yes, Nakira inspired me A LOT!!! Her story of little Nakira and Miss LeMarre was EPIC! That reminds me, Im gonna go read the next chapter! Razz
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TaylorFox00
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PostSubject: Re: Taylor's Story   Mon Sep 13, 2010 8:51 pm

Nakira wrote:
Good story! Although it's not in a Neutral POV, it's in Taylor's POV. Very Happy
Thx!!! i always mess up on stories Embarassed !!!
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Nakira
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PostSubject: Re: Taylor's Story   Mon Sep 13, 2010 9:59 pm

TaylorFox00 wrote:
IluvJB36 wrote:
I love this! It is reminiscent of Nakira's story, did you use it as inspiration? However, the tone is completely different, only two chapters and I'm already familiarized with your writing style!

Maybe you should learn where paragraphs are, because it's hard to read soemtimes, with too many run-on sentences and chunks of text. Also, I feel your prose a little non-descript. That would work for a minimalist story, but here I think you need more detail. For example, instead of saying "It hurt a lot" say "The searing pain tore through my retina blabablbalbla" Only less like Sharp's siggy.

9-10, but 8-10 due to grammar.
Ok, Ill fix some stuff and make it more interesting Very Happy , and yes, Nakira inspired me A LOT!!! Her story of little Nakira and Miss LeMarre was EPIC! That reminds me, Im gonna go read the next chapter! Razz

You have no idea how much that means to me, I'm seriously blushing right now. *///* That's so awesome of you to be inspired by meeee~. X3
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TaylorFox00
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PostSubject: Re: Taylor's Story   Tue Sep 14, 2010 1:29 pm

Nakira wrote:
TaylorFox00 wrote:
IluvJB36 wrote:
I love this! It is reminiscent of Nakira's story, did you use it as inspiration? However, the tone is completely different, only two chapters and I'm already familiarized with your writing style!

Maybe you should learn where paragraphs are, because it's hard to read soemtimes, with too many run-on sentences and chunks of text. Also, I feel your prose a little non-descript. That would work for a minimalist story, but here I think you need more detail. For example, instead of saying "It hurt a lot" say "The searing pain tore through my retina blabablbalbla" Only less like Sharp's siggy.

9-10, but 8-10 due to grammar.
Ok, Ill fix some stuff and make it more interesting Very Happy , and yes, Nakira inspired me A LOT!!! Her story of little Nakira and Miss LeMarre was EPIC! That reminds me, Im gonna go read the next chapter! Razz

You have no idea how much that means to me, I'm seriously blushing right now. *///* That's so awesome of you to be inspired by meeee~. X3
Aw, thanks! Btw, I love your recolored avatar.
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TaylorFox00
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PostSubject: Re: Taylor's Story   Tue Sep 14, 2010 5:00 pm

Ok, Juliajuljulia is writing another version of chapter 4, so im going to make two story paths. One by my dangerous Chapter Unknown Feeling and uhhhhhhhhh...What happened, The other path is sclupted by Julias chapter 4. so you can choose to read Chapter 5, War and a Walk, Path 1, Or Chapter 5, Path2. The two paths continue on and come together in the end. Oh, and do you want Julia two write the rest of path 2 or me? I have no offence taken if you choose Julia

Btw, I love criticisim, it makes my story more interesting if you tell me ' YOUR STORY SUCKS! MAKE IT ABOUT A LITTLE PONY LOST IN A DESERT! ' , cuz then I'll make it about a pony lost in a desert and make it less suckish
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Nakira
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PostSubject: Re: Taylor's Story   Wed Sep 15, 2010 7:08 pm

This is pretty good, which chapters were written by you? Can't wait for the next chap! X3
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TaylorFox00
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PostSubject: Re: Taylor's Story   Wed Sep 15, 2010 8:22 pm

Actually, julia hasnt written chapter 4, Path 2 yet... so all the chapters are written by me so far Very Happy there are two paths: one is war, based on what i wrote in my chapter 4, and another path is going to be made based on the chapter 4 JULIA is making o.e .... its so confusing, even for me! ^w^'
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juliajuljulia
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PostSubject: Re: Taylor's Story   Wed Sep 15, 2010 8:23 pm

sorry im still workin itll probably come out over the weekend
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juliajuljulia
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PostSubject: Re: Taylor's Story   Wed Sep 15, 2010 8:34 pm

Cahapter 4
Spoiler:
 
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TaylorFox00
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PostSubject: Re: Taylor's Story   Wed Sep 15, 2010 8:46 pm

juliajuljulia wrote:
Cahapter 4
Spoiler:
 
OH MY GOD, THIS IS EPIC!!!!!! I AM GOING TO MAKE THIS PATH AS EXCITING AS POSSIBLE! And if anybody else wants to help with path 2, New Contacts, then just PM me. THANK UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU JULIA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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juliajuljulia
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PostSubject: Re: Taylor's Story   Wed Sep 15, 2010 8:47 pm

np lol my things wont come out as often tho
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Nakira
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PostSubject: Re: Taylor's Story   Mon Oct 11, 2010 5:39 pm

When's the next chapter coming? :3
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TaylorFox00
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PostSubject: Re: Taylor's Story   Mon Oct 11, 2010 5:57 pm

Nakira wrote:
When's the next chapter coming? :3
I haven't started!
OMG I FORGOT ALL ABOUT THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Plus I'm in a creative slump.
SLUMP.
SLUMP.
S L U M P .

E D I T: Started Chapter 6, path 1! I'm too bored to write, so right now I'm sitting here eating kettle chips with pepper 'o' ( don't worry, I'm skinnier than a stick, so I won't get fat, lol Smile )
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juliajuljulia
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PostSubject: Re: Taylor's Story   Mon Oct 11, 2010 7:35 pm

just wanted to say i cant do this any more im sorry but i dont have time and i suck at writing
so from me: juliajuljulia officially resigns from her duty of writing this story
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TaylorFox00
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PostSubject: Re: Taylor's Story   Mon Oct 11, 2010 7:38 pm

juliajuljulia wrote:
just wanted to say i cant do this any more im sorry but i dont have time and i suck at writing
so from me: juliajuljulia officially resigns from her duty of writing this story
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
But its ok Very Happy!
At least u wrote a chapter!!!!!!!!!!
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PostSubject: Re: Taylor's Story   Today at 11:13 am

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