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 Alive (story)

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Monsterbunny
Dedicated Fantagian


Posts : 1425
Join date : 2010-12-11
Age : 17
Location : Behind you

PostSubject: Alive (story)   Wed Apr 20, 2011 3:30 pm

ok heres the first chapter plz rate on 1 to 10 ok thx!!

Spoiler:
 

ok ill try to do the next part later im still working on it

RATE!!! cheers
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rangels
New Fantagian


Posts : 3
Join date : 2011-04-19
Age : 19
Location : Californiaa!!;D

PostSubject: Re: Alive (story)   Wed Apr 20, 2011 6:13 pm

Wow!!Very Happy I wonder what happens next!!!Very Happy
10 foshow!!;D
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nymphie
Passionate Fantagian


Posts : 769
Join date : 2010-09-11
Age : 16
Location : Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry

PostSubject: Re: Alive (story)   Wed Apr 20, 2011 6:37 pm

Its a little hard to tell whats going on plus you have several typos on here. It needs to be longer and it would help if you had a prologue or the event happens in the next chapter or two chapters later. I recommend to never put the climax first, the details make for a fantastic story. With a bit of help I'm sure this story could turn out better. In total I shall rate this 4/10.

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Monsterbunny
Dedicated Fantagian


Posts : 1425
Join date : 2010-12-11
Age : 17
Location : Behind you

PostSubject: Re: Alive (story)   Wed Apr 20, 2011 6:40 pm

thx..i think but i dont need someone to tell me how to write my stories but i apreciate it and the 2nd chapter is cooming tommorow
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nymphie
Passionate Fantagian


Posts : 769
Join date : 2010-09-11
Age : 16
Location : Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry

PostSubject: Re: Alive (story)   Fri Apr 22, 2011 2:59 pm

mjmjrocks05 wrote:
thx..i think but i dont need someone to tell me how to write my stories but i apreciate it and the 2nd chapter is cooming tommorow

Its called Critique. It means I tell you what you did right and what you did wrong *palm*
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Monsterbunny
Dedicated Fantagian


Posts : 1425
Join date : 2010-12-11
Age : 17
Location : Behind you

PostSubject: Re: Alive (story)   Fri Apr 22, 2011 5:07 pm

*palm*? ok weird
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