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 Silent Roses (Chapter one is out)

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S
Dedicated Fantagian


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Age : 11
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PostSubject: Silent Roses (Chapter one is out)   Mon May 09, 2011 6:23 pm

IIIIIII WILLLLLLLLLLLLLLL SLDKJFLSKJDFing FINISH THIS STORY!!1!1!1

Now, I suppose, I should write with grammar. "Sigh,"

-Prologue-
The night sky was a deep blue, its darkness washed over everything, except for the gentle break of stars. The stars were splattered in an incoherent pattern, they twisted and turned, seeming to dance in living motions.

Winged creatures, with alien and unnatural bodies, ran and leapt through strange fields. They were all traveling to one destination, it was atop a hill, through a forest, and over a golden stream. Once that place was found, a most odd sight would greet you. There perched, in that odd spot, was a creature seeming to be a monster, but it released a feeling of love, a gentle feeling that warmed even the most beastly of hearts. It was a shining Lion, but it had the body of a great and large spider, the wings of the largest bird ever to be seen, and a lizard's tail.

It looked up, with its eyes full of respect, to the strangest sight of all. There, upon that strange creature was a thing, with a human body. Its limbs were unnaturally long, and it was much more beautiful than any human that would be found on Earth. The skin was a silver, that shined, and reflected the moon's light. It's face had two, large, glowing orb-like eyes. Large red, wavy curls tumbled in a stream from it's scalp.

It sat there, in silence, waiting for all the creatures to assemble. It, now discovered as a She, leapt down from the strange lion-spider beast, in a single, fluid movement. She took a few paces forward, and stood there, her calmness, suddenly turning into an alarming urgency. She raised her arms, and all the creatures started to run, panicked. The animals faded into nothingness, and even her spider beast evaporated, with a look of despair on it's face. The land, strange, but oddly with beauty, then too evaporated and faded into nothingness, until at last she stood alone. She took a quick look, letting only one golden tear fall, before she too, faded.
---
Chapter 1

Spoiler:
 

I don't like chapter one, I may need to rewrite it, I'll see what Makky has to say.


Last edited by S on Wed May 25, 2011 10:52 am; edited 6 times in total
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Makkine
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PostSubject: Re: Silent Roses (Chapter one is out)   Mon May 09, 2011 6:30 pm

Yay! You're writing again! You're really talented, but I shall critique you via PM anyway.
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FrEeWiErD
Senior Fantagian


Posts : 251
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Age : 16
Location : With Bob

PostSubject: Re: Silent Roses (Chapter one is out)   Mon May 09, 2011 9:39 pm

wow S ur a great wrighter
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Relora
Hero Fantagian


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Age : 19
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PostSubject: Re: Silent Roses (Chapter one is out)   Tue May 10, 2011 3:32 pm

nice job and its Writer not wrighter
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Rock N Roll
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PostSubject: Re: Silent Roses (Chapter one is out)   Tue May 10, 2011 3:36 pm

OMG your soooo talented! Cool
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ii77ll
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PostSubject: Re: Silent Roses (Chapter one is out)   Sat May 14, 2011 10:53 am

that's really good! I like it alot
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Pommu-pon
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PostSubject: Re: Silent Roses (Chapter one is out)   Sat May 14, 2011 11:13 am

Wow, that's really nice. You're talented (=
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S
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PostSubject: Re: Silent Roses (Chapter one is out)   Mon May 23, 2011 6:47 pm

Posted Chapter one, not proud of it, may need to rewrite it, or parts of it.
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no
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PostSubject: Re: Silent Roses (Chapter one is out)   Mon May 23, 2011 6:59 pm

O.O I wish I had enough creativity to come up with original stories.
I'm currently writing fanfictions. Along with one original story. (Not very original since it's a rewritten class project.)
Anyway, you're very talented and I can't wait to read more. (:
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hoangmy
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PostSubject: Re: Silent Roses (Chapter one is out)   Mon May 30, 2011 12:32 am

weird but i do know how to draw!!!!
i have really bad grammer
and spelling
(SEE I SOELLED SOMETHING WRONG!)
(AND AGAIN) lol! scratch
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mayanm
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PostSubject: Re: Silent Roses (Chapter one is out)   Mon May 30, 2011 2:00 am

I loved the way you described the scene! Keep writing more. I'll prrobably get some tips! Wink
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Karen
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PostSubject: Re: Silent Roses (Chapter one is out)   Mon May 30, 2011 12:47 pm

I loovve it.
--
Except that I didn't really understand what happened at the end of Chapter one.
it's like; OIOIOI LETS ESCAPE FROM THAT DOOD WHOS BEIN LIEK MEANIE BEANIE TO YOU.
(i know it doesnt say that but xD)
...Yeah, cause... well... idk.

.
kthxbai
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~Kitty~x3
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PostSubject: Re: Silent Roses (Chapter one is out)   Fri Jul 08, 2011 5:25 pm

OMG your really talent i draw anime and write stories but not a good story like that! o3o

[flash][/flash]
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~Kitty~x3
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PostSubject: Re: Silent Roses (Chapter one is out)   Fri Jul 08, 2011 5:28 pm

Ugh fail i put talent i meant talent.. Razz Epic fail for mehh!

[flash][/flash]
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Blackrose
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PostSubject: Re: Silent Roses (Chapter one is out)   Fri Jul 08, 2011 6:14 pm

i love it..... pretty nice... too bad S, ur banned on the forum
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Relora
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PostSubject: Re: Silent Roses (Chapter one is out)   Fri Jul 08, 2011 10:03 pm

Very good ^^
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