Fantage Forum
Welcome to the Fantage Forum.


Fantage Cheats, Secrets, Glitches, Info & Help.
 
HomeFAQSearchMemberlistRegisterLog inUsergroups


Share | 
 

 Check out my speech

View previous topic View next topic Go down 
AuthorMessage
IM MELODY'S HACKER!!!!
Featured User


Posts : 4132
Join date : 2011-06-01
Location : derp

PostSubject: Check out my speech   Thu Jun 30, 2011 5:23 am

I really need help for my speech there's 4 topics; music to my ears, lights,camera, action, what i can live without and how i can change the world. this is what i have got (i chose how i can change the world).


How I can make the world a better place.

Most people might wonder, how can I make the world a better place? To me it is simple every little thing that you do counts. Picking up rubbish, recycling, and all sorts of things counts, even finishing your dinner.

Also donating to charities and supporting free events such as bandage bear day helps the poor and it does make a world a better place. Imagine every one of us has given to the charity and donate to the poor; the world won’t have beggars and people won’t die from starvation.


Back to top Go down
View user profile
Relora
Hero Fantagian


Posts : 6776
Join date : 2010-11-30
Age : 19
Location : Define "Location"

PostSubject: Re: Check out my speech   Thu Jun 30, 2011 8:23 am

Though I want to help, I won't really do so. I've done speeches and it feels better to know your the one to have made it, that you barely needed any ones help. It's not that hard and you have a pretty good start.

I will help you out with one thing however, is this your first two paragraphs because they seem pretty short. Of course maybe your supposed to make like a minute or 30 seconds long. I'm just used to speeches being longer that's all.

Give me some more info (the rules and regulations for example) and I guess I can give you the bare-minimum of help. other than that try to do the majority of it on your own.

Do you have to read them out loud? I have some tips that would help out with that part.
Back to top Go down
View user profile
IM MELODY'S HACKER!!!!
Featured User


Posts : 4132
Join date : 2011-06-01
Location : derp

PostSubject: Re: Check out my speech   Fri Jul 01, 2011 5:25 am

yeah i do have to and the speech have to be 4 minutes, i am just starting due 6 weeks later
Back to top Go down
View user profile
mayanm
Expert Fantagian


Posts : 2088
Join date : 2011-05-14
Age : 17
Location : Noitacol. It's a location all right!

PostSubject: Re: Check out my speech   Fri Jul 01, 2011 8:37 am

i see....
well, i think you should use your imagination and think of things that are always positive and something you can explain very well.
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Makkine
Moderator
Moderator


Posts : 2772
Join date : 2010-05-17
Age : 19
Location : Woah

PostSubject: Re: Check out my speech   Fri Jul 01, 2011 12:29 pm

How We Can Make the World a Better Place. I'm presuming this is your title? Every important word must be capitalised.

Most people wonder to themselves, (erase all words like "might", "probably", "maybe". Be bold, this makes it look as though you know what you're saying), "How can I make this world a better place?" It is very simple (no personal pronouns, they make your speech sound subjective), every little thing that you do counts (This is a good transition, but it sounds useless. I suggest you either fix it so it sounds less clunky, or delete the sentence). Some things we can do are very easy, like picking up trash, recycling, and not wasting energy. All sorts of things we do count (Subject-Verb agreement, remember? "Count" shouldn't have had an s. Also, this is sounding repetitive. Erase most repetition, unless it is conscious.), even finishing your dinner!

You need a transition. There are also things you can do that not only help the world, but the people living in it, like donating to charities and supporting events that help the poor. All this makes the world a better place (You've been listing things too much. Though that's a good rhetorical device, you seem to be overusing it). Imagine what it would be like if every one of us had given to charities and donated to the poor; the world would have less (You're sounding too secure, now. Definiteness helps you when suggesting things, not when revealing the outcome) homeless people, and people wouldn’t die from starvation as much.

Insert concluding sentence here.
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Nakira
Dedicated Fantagian


Posts : 1137
Join date : 2010-07-12
Age : 20
Location : the groan zone

PostSubject: Re: Check out my speech   Fri Jul 01, 2011 4:30 pm

Makkine and Relora have already helped you edit the speech itself. So I guess I'll give you advice for your actual presentation! :3

When giving your speech, don't look at your paper too much. It's ok if you haven't memorized all of it, but know the gist of your speech so you don't always look down at the paper when presenting it. Speak in a loud, confident tone. (Be sure to use a little emotion/conviction, no one likes a monotone speaker!) Make eye contact with people in the audience. Don't move too much, but don't stand entirely still.

Good luck! ;D
Back to top Go down
View user profile
IM MELODY'S HACKER!!!!
Featured User


Posts : 4132
Join date : 2011-06-01
Location : derp

PostSubject: Re: Check out my speech   Sat Jul 02, 2011 12:29 am

thx everyone Smile I will post my speech when I am finish
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Sponsored content




PostSubject: Re: Check out my speech   Today at 9:09 am

Back to top Go down
 
Check out my speech
View previous topic View next topic Back to top 
Page 1 of 1
 Similar topics
-
» Guild Chest! (Also the Price Check Thread!)
» The Cabana Art Shop [Commission holders need to check this!]
» How to Check Basic Electronic Components
» Hot Toys in Hong Kong...Price check Please!
» Diablo 3 - Characters and level check

Permissions in this forum:You cannot reply to topics in this forum
Fantage Forum :: Creations :: Literature-
Jump to: