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 My story [ Hope I finish it in a month ]

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Blue
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PostSubject: My story [ Hope I finish it in a month ]   Sun Jul 31, 2011 5:30 am

Hi!
I've written a story called Horror Nights. [ Hope its not too scary! ] And I want you to check it out. If you don't want to read, don't. I wanted to ask you if there's any changes I can make to it?

Introduction.
Spoiler:
 

Chapter 1
Spoiler:
 

Chapter 2
Spoiler:
 

Chapter 3
Spoiler:
 

Chapter 4
Spoiler:
 

Chapter 5
Spoiler:
 

Chapter 6
Spoiler:
 

Chapter 7
Spoiler:
 

Chapter 8
Spoiler:
 

Chapter 9
Spoiler:
 

Chapter 10
Spoiler:
 

Chapter 11
Spoiler:
 


Chapter 12
Spoiler:
 

Summary of the next book.
Spoiler:
 

To everyone who read this:
I hope you enjoyed it. I will hope to finish the story soon! If its too scary PM me and I can change it. Very Happy If the writing is too small, just zoom in using your computer's controls.


Last edited by huny62807 on Tue Aug 02, 2011 9:49 am; edited 8 times in total
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MsJoyMaeda
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PostSubject: Re: My story [ Hope I finish it in a month ]   Sun Jul 31, 2011 8:33 am

It's pretty good! Though, I found a grammar mistake in Chapter 2:


A bit of its poison and your are dead.

your are doesn't make sense. It should be you're meaning you are.
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Blue
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PostSubject: Re: My story [ Hope I finish it in a month ]   Sun Jul 31, 2011 9:04 am

Oh thanks I'll change it at once. Smile
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Relora
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PostSubject: Re: My story [ Hope I finish it in a month ]   Sun Jul 31, 2011 9:25 am

This is really good for an eight-year-old I enjoyed quite a bit. ^^
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Pommu-pon
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PostSubject: Re: My story [ Hope I finish it in a month ]   Sun Jul 31, 2011 9:29 am

I believe it is.. The new Harry Potter!

Your vocabulary is much better than mine, and I've been studying English for nearly 5 years now xD

So interesting! I can't wait to read the rest of it Cool
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FruitCake
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PostSubject: Re: My story [ Hope I finish it in a month ]   Sun Jul 31, 2011 9:34 am

THE BEST STORY BY A 8 YEAR OLD SEEN'
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Blackrose
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PostSubject: Re: My story [ Hope I finish it in a month ]   Sun Jul 31, 2011 9:59 am

wicked Wooooot! [:
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alex
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PostSubject: Re: My story [ Hope I finish it in a month ]   Sun Jul 31, 2011 10:03 am

More adjectives, but overall, pretty good.

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tumblr / 내 호버크라프트는 장어로 가득 차 있어요. ㅡㅅㅡ
thank u elliot for the pic of me n my gf♥
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Blackrose
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PostSubject: Re: My story [ Hope I finish it in a month ]   Sun Jul 31, 2011 10:04 am

please finish it in less then a month [:
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Katie_Forever
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PostSubject: Re: My story [ Hope I finish it in a month ]   Sun Jul 31, 2011 10:04 am

wow looks great Smile good job.
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Blue
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PostSubject: Re: My story [ Hope I finish it in a month ]   Sun Jul 31, 2011 10:11 am

Thanks i'll set to work at once!
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mayanm
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PostSubject: Re: My story [ Hope I finish it in a month ]   Sun Jul 31, 2011 10:15 am

Awesome work! That's quiet good, actually!
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PatrickPower2013
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PostSubject: Re: My story [ Hope I finish it in a month ]   Sun Jul 31, 2011 10:23 am

I skimmed and it looks good.
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Blackrose
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PostSubject: Re: My story [ Hope I finish it in a month ]   Sun Jul 31, 2011 10:36 am

kk hope it turns out good
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PostSubject: Re: My story [ Hope I finish it in a month ]   Mon Aug 01, 2011 5:50 am

Thanks there r many chapters so I dunno when I'll finish it. Well, there are at least 6 left. It won't be so tough.
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PostSubject: Re: My story [ Hope I finish it in a month ]   Mon Aug 01, 2011 5:54 am

Awesome! You're younger then me and you write so good. Good luck on the rest of the chapters too!
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PostSubject: Re: My story [ Hope I finish it in a month ]   Mon Aug 01, 2011 6:05 am

Thanks Finn. Very Happy
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PostSubject: Re: My story [ Hope I finish it in a month ]   Mon Aug 01, 2011 6:10 am

No problem Smile Your story was wonderful
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Blackrose
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PostSubject: Re: My story [ Hope I finish it in a month ]   Mon Aug 01, 2011 6:30 am

hm we got a future JK Rowling on our hands!
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PostSubject: Re: My story [ Hope I finish it in a month ]   Mon Aug 01, 2011 7:30 am

Thanks when I grow up I hope to be an author. Smile
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Blackrose
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PostSubject: Re: My story [ Hope I finish it in a month ]   Mon Aug 01, 2011 7:35 am

*clap clap* wooooot
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PostSubject: Re: My story [ Hope I finish it in a month ]   Mon Aug 01, 2011 7:57 am

Hi I finished the eight chapter now. You can read it!
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Blackrose
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PostSubject: Re: My story [ Hope I finish it in a month ]   Mon Aug 01, 2011 8:45 am

hm wooot kewl!
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alex
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PostSubject: Re: My story [ Hope I finish it in a month ]   Mon Aug 01, 2011 9:40 am

Me likey. [[[:

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tumblr / 내 호버크라프트는 장어로 가득 차 있어요. ㅡㅅㅡ
thank u elliot for the pic of me n my gf♥
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PostSubject: Re: My story [ Hope I finish it in a month ]   Mon Aug 01, 2011 10:13 am

Ty everyone!
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