| | ♥Suu~Itoburīzu♥ | |
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+5cynthia Queen Bubbles Crownie v 9 posters | Author | Message |
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v Moderator
Posts : 9590 Join date : 2010-02-07 Age : 24
| Subject: ♥Suu~Itoburīzu♥ Mon Sep 26, 2011 4:24 pm | |
| Sorry if it's too short. o___o - Chapter One:
The snow slowly trickled down onto the already covered floor. Every inch of ground was hidden with the pure, white, frozen water. Harsh winds picked up as little Miki struggled to trudge through the blanket. Shivering, she continued to walk, her bare feet freezing from the coldness. Almost there.. she thought, blocking her face from the snow. There it was; a small cave, usually the place Miki would sleep in. Walking a bit faster, she soon approached the dark cave, glad to be back. Shivering, Miki walked across the cold ground, sitting near a log of flames. I can't believe it's still lit.. She sat near the fire, the only source of light in the cave. After moments of warmth, Miki glared across the room. It was beginning to get dark, but at least the snow stopped. Laying her head on the hard, cold ground, she closed her eyes, wanting to get some shut eye for the next day. The breeze died down later on in the night, making the night completely silent. The next morning was quite relaxing. Miki woke up to the sound of birds singing, and nothing other than sunshine. After weeks of snow and harsh winds, she was glad to find a ray of sunshine aiming directly at her little "home." Sitting up, she dusted her blue skirt off, and stood up. Miki walked outside, surprised that there was little snow on the floor. Grass was surrounding the area; she hadn't known this, since snow has been hiding it for a while now. It was still a bit chilly, but the winds were calm. She was a bit excited to be playing and running around in the grass again, though she felt a bit sad for being lonely all the time. Never having friends to play around with, no family members left. The thought of this made her feel like she was going to explode with tears. The area around her soon looked blurry through her eyes. Quickly wiping her tears, she ran through the forest, playfully falling onto the grass, wetting the back of her outfit. Forgetting about everything else around her, she laid beneath the weak sun, listening to the birds singing their songs. All of her thoughts shattered as she heard voices not too far away from her. Startled, she quickly rose from the grass, running behind a tree. "Hello." She heard a voice behind her. Turning around, her eyes widened.
- Chapter Two:
Miki looked up at the grown man; he was very tall, and a bit scrawny. His top hat covered his eyes, a relief to Miki. He wore a very long cloak, making the only thing visible was his pale skin. “Now, now.. Don’t be alarmed..” Just the sound of the man’s voice made Miki shiver. The man smiled viciously at her, as if he were enjoying this. Miki stared in horror as the man’s pale hand wrapped around her neck. “This seems like a good body, yes..” His vicious smile seemed to fade away, exposing his fang-like teeth, getting ready to devour little Miki. She tried hard to scream, but the man’s grasp was to tight; she only let out a little squeak. Tears began to slowly run down her face as her cheeks began fading into a rosy red. Just as the man was about to suck her soul, a scream was heard from him, and he dropped Miki onto the grass. Miki, panicking, scrambled to the nearest tree, watching the man’s body lay lifeless on the floor. “Disgrace to the world.” Miki heard another boy’s voice from a distance. She looked up, her eyes still filled with tears. This time, it was a teenage boy, looking about 17. His hands were bloody, and he was holding a silver sword, the words “Kono tame ni jūbun'na kachi ga aru ichi…” carved into the blade. She carefully examined the boy. His messy, black hair reached the back of his neck, being a bit wavy. Blue eyes shining as brightly as the sun. A long cloak reaching the bottom of his knees, with blood stained onto his jeans. “You’re okay, right?” His soft voice asked Miki as he walked towards her. She slightly nodded, rubbing her bleeding neck; the man’s nails have been buried into her neck the whole time. The boy crouched down to Miki’s level, and looked at her cuts. “May I see your neck for a moment..?” He asked kindly, and Miki turned so her cuts were facing him. He reached for the cuts, and softly touched it with his fingers. Closing his eyes, his hands began to flow into a light blue shade, and everything around them shut off. It was pitch black; you couldn’t see anything but the boy’s glowing hand. As he let go, everything went back to normal. All of the birds began to chirp again, trees were swaying in the breeze. The boy smiled at Miki, and she touched her neck. The cut had vanished.. Miki, her mouth slightly open, wanted to say something, but her heart was to swelled up. She couldn’t speak at the moment. It was as if she had a sore throat of some sort. The boy stood up, taking Miki’s hand. She got up at once, dusting off her skirt yet again. “Come with me..” He said quietly, escorting her out of the woods, and to a nearby house. Silence broke in between them. Nobody said a word. The only thing that was heard were the trees swaying in the breeze. "You're Miki, right? Miki Hayashi?" The boy asked, breaking the silence. Miki nodded harshly, following the boy. “My name is Ryu. I was ordered to find and protect you.” He said in a calm voice. Miki had to run a bit to catch up with him, even if she was holding his hand. “W-Why? Protect me from what?” Miki blurted out, breathing a bit faster now. The area surrounding them suddenly turned black. Red eyes gleamed through the darkness. Hands were reaching out to grab them. “Just keep on walking..” Ryu said quietly, soon walking a bit faster than usual. After hundreds of these demons arriving, Ryu crouched down, grabbing Miki’s waist. He jumped up, floating carefully in the blackness as the demons were hitting one another. “Keep quiet until we get there.” He said sternly, continuing to walk in midair.
- Chapter Three:
Miki slightly nodded, resting her head on Ryu’s shoulder. She looked down towards the demons, screams echoing throughout the darkness. Thousands of demons were rising from the blackness, causing the coldness to enter Miki’s body. Miki’s eyes widened as the demons were forming together, one by one, into a great giant. Ryu watched as the demons began to grow, smirking. He stopped walking, squinting his eyes, glaring at the demons. His black hair slowly started to blow, Miki’s eyes watching him the whole time. The demons’ screeches were louder than ever, blood looked as if it were glowing on its faces. Ryu’s face turned into a vicious grin as the demons exploded, blood splattering everywhere. Birds were heard. The wind blew slowly, causing the leaves to blow. The blue sky was on top of them once again, the relaxation coming back. Miki stared in shock as Ryu lowered her down, back onto the ground. His left arm was covered with blood, but the demons’ blood had washed off, meaning that was Ryu’s blood. His eyes weren’t warm as usual. He had hatred in them. “Ryu.. Are you okay?” Miki asked quietly as she crouched down to see his arm. No reply. She heard him breath heavily as she touched his cut. Darkness came back. Miki’s hand glowed into a neon green, apparently healing his wound. Everything around theme turned back to normal. Ryu’s arm was no longer bleeding. He stood up, taking hold of Miki’s hand. “Let’s go..” He said coldly, beginning their journey once again. A while after Miki and Ryu walked, she couldn’t help but ask what were they after. “What were those? Why did they attack?” Miki suddenly blurted out. Her face reddened, and she kept quiet for a while. Ryu hesitated, but finally decided to answer. “Those were demons.. they were after you.” His soft voice filled Miki’s ears. Ryu’s sentence echoed in Miki’s head, like talking in an endless tunnel. “Me? W-Why do they want me? I didn’t do anything wrong.. did I?” Miki stuttered, her face paler than usual. Her face flushed; she felt afraid. She has never felt like this before. Demons.. after me? Miki thought to herself. “You didn’t do anything. They were after you, because of a crystal. You were born with a crystal inside of your body, giving you powers and an endless life. They want it. This is why your parents and many others died. They died to save you. And that is also why they sent me to protect you.” Ryu explained carefully, Miki listening in interest. A crystal in her body, giving her power and an endless life. A thought suddenly popped into her head after thinking about the crystal. “Powers? I have powers?” A ray of excitement filled her body like water. Just little old Miki Hayashi, powers?! She saw Ryu smile for the first time since the attack. He nodded slightly, continuing his walk. Miki clenched his hand, wanting to hear about her powers. “I’m not sure about your last power, but I know you have shadow and healing abilities. Remember when those beasts attacked? You made the darkness. You sensed them coming. That’s how I knew..” He quietly said to Miki, almost mumbling to her, but loud enough so she can hear. ~~~ “He has her, sir.” A deep voice mumbled quietly, the boss nodding. “Excellent job. Miki can be in great danger.. and her parents were counting on us to protect their child. Make sure Ryu has Miki beside him at all times.” The man nodded, and dismissed himself from his office. ~~~ “Alright, we’re here.” Ryu said at last, ending the journey. What stood in front of them was a magnificent view. A house, made of dark brown logs, freshly cut from the forest. Outside was a great view of the trees and a river, glistening from the sunshine. “Welcome home..” He muttered as Miki stared in awe, her mouth hanging open a bit. “Come on now, let’s get you settled..” Ryu opened the door slowly, exposing the wonderful house, decorated in many colors and antiques. “Wow.. this is.. amazing.”
Last edited by b2uty. on Wed Sep 28, 2011 10:58 pm; edited 13 times in total | |
| | | Crownie Dedicated Fantagian
Posts : 1010 Join date : 2011-09-11 Age : 28 Location : In the center of the sun.
| Subject: Re: ♥Suu~Itoburīzu♥ Mon Sep 26, 2011 4:53 pm | |
| I don't think it's too short, but is that all of chapter one? It somewhat seems incomplete if it was all of chapter one. Sounds kind of like an intro, or a beginning of a chapter. It is a good start, especially with a lot of description with the setting. | |
| | | v Moderator
Posts : 9590 Join date : 2010-02-07 Age : 24
| Subject: Re: ♥Suu~Itoburīzu♥ Mon Sep 26, 2011 5:55 pm | |
| - Crownie wrote:
- I don't think it's too short, but is that all of chapter one?
It somewhat seems incomplete if it was all of chapter one. Sounds kind of like an intro, or a beginning of a chapter. It is a good start, especially with a lot of description with the setting. Thanks! I didn't really get to finish chapter one, since my mom wanted to go on it, and she spent a lot of time with it. So yeah. I'm planning on finishing the whole chapter later on tonight. c: | |
| | | Bubbles Loyal Fantagian
Posts : 1823 Join date : 2011-08-28 Age : 23 Location : I dunno know. Guess
| Subject: Re: ♥Suu~Itoburīzu♥ Mon Sep 26, 2011 5:56 pm | |
| you have some potential here keep it up [: | |
| | | v Moderator
Posts : 9590 Join date : 2010-02-07 Age : 24
| Subject: Re: ♥Suu~Itoburīzu♥ Tue Sep 27, 2011 5:31 pm | |
| Chapter two is added, chapter three will be coming later out in the day. It seems as if chapter two isn't very detailed, though, but meh. :p | |
| | | Bubbles Loyal Fantagian
Posts : 1823 Join date : 2011-08-28 Age : 23 Location : I dunno know. Guess
| Subject: Re: ♥Suu~Itoburīzu♥ Tue Sep 27, 2011 5:42 pm | |
| your an awesome writer [: | |
| | | v Moderator
Posts : 9590 Join date : 2010-02-07 Age : 24
| Subject: Re: ♥Suu~Itoburīzu♥ Tue Sep 27, 2011 5:55 pm | |
| - Bubbles wrote:
- your an awesome writer [:
Thank you! [: | |
| | | Queen Veteran Fantagian
Posts : 4500 Join date : 2010-07-20 Age : 22 Location : nowhereland
| Subject: Re: ♥Suu~Itoburīzu♥ Tue Sep 27, 2011 6:16 pm | |
| Its Awesome!
Good Details! C: | |
| | | v Moderator
Posts : 9590 Join date : 2010-02-07 Age : 24
| Subject: Re: ♥Suu~Itoburīzu♥ Wed Sep 28, 2011 5:42 pm | |
| | |
| | | cynthia Dedicated Fantagian
Posts : 1064 Join date : 2011-07-15 Age : 24 Location : Spudsville; 1234 Potato Lane.
| Subject: Re: ♥Suu~Itoburīzu♥ Wed Sep 28, 2011 8:27 pm | |
| I can't wait until you write more! I love how much suspense there is in the story. | |
| | | Blue Veteran Fantagian
Posts : 3257 Join date : 2011-05-04 Age : 110 Location : How am I supposed to know? D; LOCATING MYSELF IS HARD.
| | | | Guest Guest
| Subject: Re: ♥Suu~Itoburīzu♥ Thu Sep 29, 2011 11:12 am | |
| I like it how this story flows together. The word choice is frikkin awesome, and I like how you describe everything clearly. |
| | | magnet4friends New Fantagian
Posts : 2 Join date : 2011-09-28 Age : 23 Location : North Carolina
| Subject: Re: ♥Suu~Itoburīzu♥ Thu Sep 29, 2011 2:16 pm | |
| Too long for my likes , but it looks nice Magnet4friends | |
| | | . w . Senior Fantagian
Posts : 298 Join date : 2011-09-18
| Subject: Re: ♥Suu~Itoburīzu♥ Thu Sep 29, 2011 6:46 pm | |
| Looooooove it
but... wheres my cookie D: | |
| | | xXlexiXx Loyal Fantagian
Posts : 1588 Join date : 2011-01-27 Age : 105 Location : byeeeeeeee
| Subject: Re: ♥Suu~Itoburīzu♥ Thu Sep 29, 2011 6:56 pm | |
| epic! only problem:her arms are a little chubby ;/ keep workin tho ;D | |
| | | v Moderator
Posts : 9590 Join date : 2010-02-07 Age : 24
| Subject: Re: ♥Suu~Itoburīzu♥ Fri Sep 30, 2011 1:25 pm | |
| Thanks guys! ♥ I'm posting chapter four up soon. c: | |
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