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 Poem: Rain

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John_Rocks
Regular Fantagian


Posts : 153
Join date : 2011-10-02
Age : 65
Location : BOING

PostSubject: Poem: Rain   Sun Oct 02, 2011 12:37 pm

The days going by are getting in the way

of the new morning i'd found at last. It wasn't "next'' that i was headed toward,but " bygone " that I was always chasing after My incessant merciless memories don't seem likely to forgive me. It may not be long before my turmoil spills out down cheeks wearied by my fumbling about. Will the rain ever stop? I've been cold for such a long time. Why dose the rain choose me? Can I wrap myself up in it? The rain is unrelenting and it's still coming down, but tenderly under a umbrella,we share our warmth as we huddle close.


I made it for pikachu160 Hope you all and pikachu160 like it!
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FruitCake
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Age : 14
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PostSubject: Re: Poem: Rain   Sun Oct 02, 2011 12:39 pm

cool poem about rain
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kateyperry221
Senior Fantagian


Posts : 470
Join date : 2011-04-13
Age : 17
Location : Chipmunck ISLAND!!

PostSubject: Re: Poem: Rain   Sun Oct 02, 2011 12:41 pm

I am so proud of how you did it!!
But some how i kind of found it a bit hard to read??? confused
Even so i really loved it!!!
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John_Rocks
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PostSubject: Re: Poem: Rain   Sun Oct 02, 2011 12:46 pm

Thank yu!!

MOAR POEMS!
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alex
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PostSubject: Re: Poem: Rain   Sun Oct 02, 2011 12:47 pm

It's okay, but kinda hard to read xP
8/10

_________________


tumblr / 내 호버크라프트는 장어로 가득 차 있어요. ㅡㅅㅡ
thank u elliot for the pic of me n my gf♥
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Blackrose
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PostSubject: Re: Poem: Rain   Sun Oct 02, 2011 12:50 pm

pretty good and nice try on the effort scale but i agree with Ani....
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John_Rocks
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PostSubject: Re: Poem: Rain   Sun Oct 02, 2011 12:51 pm

How is it hard to read...
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kateyperry221
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Age : 17
Location : Chipmunck ISLAND!!

PostSubject: Re: Poem: Rain   Sun Oct 02, 2011 12:59 pm

Freddy333 wrote:
How is it hard to read...

Maybe try reading over the poem...and see what was needed to be added to it...
(like ,.?! etc....maybe somethings missing from your poem that makes it very hard to read....)
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Makkine
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PostSubject: Re: Poem: Rain   Sun Oct 02, 2011 1:14 pm

Line breaks:
 

Poetry needs linebreaks, or it's just flowery prose. Unless you use metre or rhyme, in which case you can still tell it's a poem without the breaks. That's how I'd split it up, but change it if you want a different feel.
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PostSubject: Re: Poem: Rain   Today at 8:45 am

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