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 Chosen Spirit (Chapter 6 is out!)

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What do you think of this story?
Great
37%
 37% [ 7 ]
Good
37%
 37% [ 7 ]
Okay
0%
 0% [ 0 ]
Bad
0%
 0% [ 0 ]
Very Bad
26%
 26% [ 5 ]
Total Votes : 19
 

AuthorMessage
Winnowill
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PostSubject: Chosen Spirit (Chapter 6 is out!)   Thu Nov 03, 2011 11:34 am

This is story that I was originally writing for a homework assignment that I decided to rewrite and elongate. Please feel free to criticize or make suggestions. Thank you!

Note: This story takes place in a parallel world, so no historical corrections!


Chosen Spirit



Prologue

Spoiler:
 

Chapter One

Spoiler:
 

Prologue - Chapter Two

Spoiler:
 

Chapter Two

Spoiler:
 

Chapter Three

Spoiler:
 

Chapter Four

Spoiler:
 

Chapter Five

Spoiler:
 

Chapter Six


Spoiler:
 





Last edited by Silmaril on Thu Nov 24, 2011 7:43 pm; edited 31 times in total
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linda99li
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PostSubject: Re: Chosen Spirit (Chapter 6 is out!)   Thu Nov 03, 2011 5:56 pm

woah woah woah. make it shorter. i voted great
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Monsterbunny
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PostSubject: Re: Chosen Spirit (Chapter 6 is out!)   Thu Nov 03, 2011 5:57 pm

nuh uh u didnt i love it but i aint voting for it srry i hate pollss
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Blackrose
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PostSubject: Re: Chosen Spirit (Chapter 6 is out!)   Thu Nov 03, 2011 6:03 pm

linda99li wrote:
woah woah woah. make it shorter. i voted great

It's not that big. >.>
Some real books are much more longer then that.
I'm still reviewing it, I'll tell ya if i think something needs to be fixed. (x
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linda99li
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PostSubject: Re: Chosen Spirit (Chapter 6 is out!)   Thu Nov 03, 2011 6:14 pm

well i dont like to read long storys. my fav one that someone made up so far is the pencil with the bear eraser! its soooo good!
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Blackrose
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PostSubject: Re: Chosen Spirit (Chapter 6 is out!)   Thu Nov 03, 2011 6:28 pm

linda99li wrote:
well i dont like to read long storys. my fav one that someone made up so far is the pencil with the bear eraser! its soooo good!

it's not that long.
When you think about it it's sorta short. >.>
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Winnowill
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PostSubject: Re: Chosen Spirit (Chapter 6 is out!)   Thu Nov 03, 2011 7:25 pm

Um, could whoever voted "very bad" please tell me why did so (criticism, personal opinion, etc.)?
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Monsterbunny
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PostSubject: Re: Chosen Spirit (Chapter 6 is out!)   Fri Nov 04, 2011 5:04 pm

well i would tell you if i could but idk and anyways it dousnt really matter if people voted bad. If they didnt like it , they didnt like it they dont really have to give an answer for why they put that..just sayin'
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Winnowill
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PostSubject: Re: Chosen Spirit (Chapter 6 is out!)   Fri Nov 04, 2011 5:14 pm

So sorry...
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Monsterbunny
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PostSubject: Re: Chosen Spirit (Chapter 6 is out!)   Fri Nov 04, 2011 5:15 pm

what? why? im just sying. Didnt mean to hurt someone feelins
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Relora
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PostSubject: Re: Chosen Spirit (Chapter 6 is out!)   Fri Nov 04, 2011 5:17 pm

The two people who voted very bad really need to grow up or at least explain why e.e

anyway I for one liked it. I'm a bit to lazy to critique right now though, sorry.
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Winnowill
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PostSubject: Re: Chosen Spirit (Chapter 6 is out!)   Fri Nov 04, 2011 5:19 pm

Thank you! Very Happy
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Katie_Forever
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PostSubject: Re: Chosen Spirit (Chapter 6 is out!)   Fri Nov 04, 2011 5:20 pm

I think its very nice.
Im not a good writer though and I dont have alot of expirence so im not gonna critique.
But its very nice.
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Monsterbunny
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PostSubject: Re: Chosen Spirit (Chapter 6 is out!)   Fri Nov 04, 2011 5:20 pm

again, they do not need to explain why
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Winnowill
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PostSubject: Re: Chosen Spirit (Chapter 6 is out!)   Fri Nov 04, 2011 5:20 pm

Okay! I get it now! I never said anyone had to explain, I just said I would really appreciate it if they did!
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Relora
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PostSubject: Re: Chosen Spirit (Chapter 6 is out!)   Fri Nov 04, 2011 5:23 pm

♥mjrox♥ wrote:
again, they do not need to explain why


Well wouldn't you wish for a reason? I mean if they are going to be that rude and unsupportive then they really didn't need to vote at all.....

I mean if I was voted as really bad I'd be angry as heck and want to know how to improve.
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no
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PostSubject: Re: Chosen Spirit (Chapter 6 is out!)   Fri Nov 04, 2011 5:30 pm

Very nice, although there are a few puncuation mistakes, they aren't very big.
Wonderful job, keep writing and always look for writing tips to help you improve.
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Winnowill
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PostSubject: Re: Chosen Spirit (Chapter 6 is out!)   Fri Nov 04, 2011 5:32 pm

Thank you for the tip! I'll edit it later... Very Happy
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alex
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PostSubject: Re: Chosen Spirit (Chapter 6 is out!)   Fri Nov 04, 2011 6:02 pm

This is awesome-sauce.

_________________


tumblr / 내 호버크라프트는 장어로 가득 차 있어요. ㅡㅅㅡ
thank u elliot for the pic of me n my gf♥
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PostSubject: Re: Chosen Spirit (Chapter 6 is out!)   Fri Nov 04, 2011 6:08 pm

You have good grammar!
Honestly, I love it. Good job! 10/10
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Blackrose
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PostSubject: Re: Chosen Spirit (Chapter 6 is out!)   Fri Nov 04, 2011 6:11 pm

Keep on writing! ^^
If you do that your stories my unfold. more.
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Winnowill
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PostSubject: Re: Chosen Spirit (Chapter 6 is out!)   Fri Nov 04, 2011 7:41 pm

Thank you so much guys!!! Very Happy I should be finished with chapter 2 by Monday...
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Relora
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PostSubject: Re: Chosen Spirit (Chapter 6 is out!)   Sat Nov 05, 2011 7:09 am

Silmaril wrote:
Thank you so much guys!!! Very Happy I should be finished with chapter 2 by Monday...

okie thanks. Can't wait to see it ^^
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Winnowill
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PostSubject: Re: Chosen Spirit (Chapter 6 is out!)   Sun Nov 06, 2011 8:12 am

I finished the prologue for Chapter 2!!! It's in the first post. It's somewhat short...
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Winnowill
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PostSubject: Re: Chosen Spirit (Chapter 6 is out!)   Mon Nov 07, 2011 11:13 am

Chapter 2 is out!!! Very Happy Sorry for double posting...

Any suggestions for a title would be much appreciated...

Thank you guys!!!
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PostSubject: Re: Chosen Spirit (Chapter 6 is out!)   Today at 4:55 am

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Chosen Spirit (Chapter 6 is out!)
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