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 my poem

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Blue
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PostSubject: my poem    Fri Nov 11, 2011 8:50 pm

Hi, in the morning I just couldn't get sleep. So I wrote a poem.

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear!
There's a ringing sound in my ears
That's waking me up everyday
And there isn't any way
To make it go away!

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear
I just cannot sleep,
there's something haunting my dreams
and making my brain go all hazy!

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear!
I didn't even know
whatever made me write this poem
made all my bad dreams go!
So now I think
I'm gonna write a poem
Every time I can't sleep a wink!
It'll solve my problems always,
as it has done, today!


Please rate, comment and correct it! c:
Sorry if the post's too long...
I can't sleep
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Relora
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PostSubject: Re: my poem    Sat Nov 12, 2011 7:47 am

Seeing as I suck at poems I can't critique but I thought it was funny :3

I kinda think it's like a nursery rhyme poem XD
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PostSubject: Re: my poem    Sun Nov 13, 2011 10:29 pm

Relora wrote:
Seeing as I suck at poems I can't critique but I thought it was funny :3

I kinda think it's like a nursery rhyme poem XD

XDD Exactly
It was meant to be funny
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o
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PostSubject: Re: my poem    Sun Nov 13, 2011 10:43 pm

9/10

some parts didn't rhyme, and if you're going to make most of it rhyme, that means it should be a rhyming poem (the whole thing should rhyme).

but other than that,
amazing for your level!!!!!!!!
XD[strike]


Last edited by hop on Sun Nov 13, 2011 11:08 pm; edited 1 time in total
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alex
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PostSubject: Re: my poem    Sun Nov 13, 2011 10:45 pm

hop wrote:
9/10

some parts didn't rhyme, and if you're going to make most of it rhyme, that means it should be a rhyming poem (the whole thing should rhyme).

but other than that,
amazing for your level!!!!!!!!
XD
whoa. a "rhyming poem" (which is a lymeric) is pretty hard to come up with, and not all of it has to rhyme.

it's really nice. : D

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o
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PostSubject: Re: my poem    Sun Nov 13, 2011 10:51 pm

Ani wrote:
hop wrote:
9/10

some parts didn't rhyme, and if you're going to make most of it rhyme, that means it should be a rhyming poem (the whole thing should rhyme).

but other than that,
amazing for your level!!!!!!!!
XD
whoa. a "rhyming poem" (which is a lymeric) is pretty hard to come up with, and not all of it has to rhyme.

it's really nice. : D

It doesn't? Oh. Well, I do a lot of rhyming poems, and I like a lot of rhyming. It's just fun to rhyme. Smile
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PostSubject: Re: my poem    Sun Nov 13, 2011 10:56 pm

@Hop- all poems don't ryhme. A poem doesn't have to ryhme if it's a poem. XD.
@Ani- Thanks so much!
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o
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PostSubject: Re: my poem    Sun Nov 13, 2011 11:00 pm

-♥Aubrey♥- wrote:
@Hop- all poems don't ryhme. A poem doesn't have to ryhme if it's a poem. XD.
@Ani- Thanks so much!

I know, that's what Ani just said. (points to post above)

Again, really good!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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lizzyroxxs
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PostSubject: Re: my poem    Fri Nov 25, 2011 5:06 pm

o.o Sounds like something I would read if I were in 1st grade Very Happy But its reallly good.
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PostSubject: Re: my poem    Fri Nov 25, 2011 5:07 pm

@Hop: Uh, some songs don't rhyme, and a poem is a song with no sound.
--
I really like it. Keep up the good work!
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Blackrose
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PostSubject: Re: my poem    Fri Nov 25, 2011 5:32 pm

It's awesome! And it really rhymes! nice job
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PostSubject: Re: my poem    Fri Nov 25, 2011 11:06 pm

Thankies, guys! I like making poems and stories ^^
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candyx3ii
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PostSubject: Re: my poem    Tue Dec 06, 2011 11:29 am

I like it. And I like poems that don't rhyme.
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Blue
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PostSubject: Re: my poem    Thu Dec 08, 2011 7:07 am

Thank you very much ^^
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PostSubject: Re: my poem    Today at 12:39 pm

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