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 The Dead Rise Again. *Chapter Four is out*

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What do you think?
Spectatcular
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Great
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good
0%
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okay
11%
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needs work
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Total Votes : 9
 

AuthorMessage
Relora
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PostSubject: The Dead Rise Again. *Chapter Four is out*   Sat Nov 19, 2011 9:31 pm

Prologue
Spoiler:
 

Chapter One
Spoiler:
 

Chapter Two
Spoiler:
 

Chapter Three

Spoiler:
 

Chapter Four
Spoiler:
 

Comments, ratings, constructive criticism all appreciated ^^


Last edited by Relora on Mon Dec 05, 2011 3:32 pm; edited 14 times in total
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Gymnastics 4 life
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PostSubject: Re: The Dead Rise Again. *Chapter Four is out*   Sat Nov 19, 2011 9:38 pm

Relora wrote:
Prologue
Spoiler:
 

Comments, ratings, constructive criticism all appreciated ^^


I have some grammar corrections if I may.
1.can not is cannot
2.10 and over is written in numeral form
3.dieing is dying
I can't find anything else it's very good other than that ^.^
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**♥ Anni Hart♥**
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PostSubject: Re: The Dead Rise Again. *Chapter Four is out*   Sun Nov 20, 2011 8:09 am

Agreed with Rin


But. You can make can not Cannot or can't

Good story other than that

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Winnowill
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PostSubject: Re: The Dead Rise Again. *Chapter Four is out*   Sun Nov 20, 2011 8:14 am

This is awesome! I like the post-apocalyptical theme!

My only criticims have already been posted by Rin and Anni.
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Mustard
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PostSubject: Re: The Dead Rise Again. *Chapter Four is out*   Sun Nov 20, 2011 8:30 am

First of all, when I saw this title I got excited, because Rise Again[st] is my favorite bands.
This is overall really good.
Congrats.
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PostSubject: Re: The Dead Rise Again. *Chapter Four is out*   Sun Nov 20, 2011 8:41 am

The only thing I'd say is dieing is dying.

But overall good. And, I don't think one of Rin's corrections is right. But who's to say.
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PostSubject: Re: The Dead Rise Again. *Chapter Four is out*   Sun Nov 20, 2011 11:03 am

cowcow23 wrote:
The only thing I'd say is dieing is dying.

But overall good. And, I don't think one of Rin's corrections is right. But who's to say.

wich one? I'd certianly like to know so that I'd know in the future o-o
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PostSubject: Re: The Dead Rise Again. *Chapter Four is out*   Sun Nov 20, 2011 12:21 pm

Okay thanks guys. I think I fixed what you all saw needed to be changed. I'm happy to be writing again, been tooooo long for me :3


Again thanks for the feedback I'm happy you guys are helping Very Happy

I think Ima start on chapter one right now xD
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PostSubject: Re: The Dead Rise Again. *Chapter Four is out*   Sun Nov 20, 2011 12:34 pm

PLEASE don't make chapters.
Because then you'll never end it.
Just make a long story, make an ending. Get to the point.
Don't start writing and inventing stuff on the way.
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Winnowill
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PostSubject: Re: The Dead Rise Again. *Chapter Four is out*   Sun Nov 20, 2011 12:37 pm

I don't think there is anything wrong with having a continuing story...

That's how I write mine...Very Happy

It's just easier to maintain motivation that way.

You also end up with a lot of good material that you can use to make a story that does have a definite ending. if you have blank-page phobia like me.
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Relora
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PostSubject: Re: The Dead Rise Again. *Chapter Four is out*   Sun Nov 20, 2011 12:50 pm

A wrote:
PLEASE don't make chapters.
Because then you'll never end it.
Just make a long story, make an ending. Get to the point.
Don't start writing and inventing stuff on the way.

Actually this idea, I've had it in my mind for a good month now. I'm not really inventing on the way. I know what Ima need to put in all there is to add is a few extra's.

Truth is, when I make stories I keep writing to the last drop. If you really don't want to keep seeing it I'll resume what I always have done, which is write in a notebook (seeing as word doesn't work for me). 'll probably just add a little here and there on the forum. I never plan on posting the full thing on the forum. Would be wayyyy to long. I just put the gist of it in.

You don't have to read the chapters if you don't want d;
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PostSubject: Re: The Dead Rise Again. *Chapter Four is out*   Sun Nov 20, 2011 1:00 pm

rin wrote:



I have some grammar corrections if I may.
1.can not is cannot
2.10 and over is written in numeral form
3.dieing is dying
I can't find anything else it's very good other than that ^.^


I'm not sure about this one, but I don't know that I'm wrong.
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PostSubject: Re: The Dead Rise Again. *Chapter Four is out*   Sun Nov 20, 2011 1:04 pm

cowcow23 wrote:
rin wrote:



I have some grammar corrections if I may.
1.can not is cannot
2.10 and over is written in numeral form
3.dieing is dying
I can't find anything else it's very good other than that ^.^


I'm not sure about this one, but I don't know that I'm wrong.

Actually I wasn't sure as well so I looked it up. It actually can be either just depends on other factors. I decided to put it back to numeral form.

Chapter 1 is out By the way.

I think Ima roll with this story and use it as an outlet of my creativity. Noe I just needa find a college ruled notebook.....
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PostSubject: Re: The Dead Rise Again. *Chapter Four is out*   Sun Nov 20, 2011 1:21 pm

@Rin:
1. You don't have to say cannot. You can say either can't, can not, or cannot.
2. Correct. Numbers 1-10 are written in word form, 11 and over is written in numeral form.
3. Again, correct. It's spelled dying.

So you are right, but on number one you don't have to...but you should.
--
I really love your story. Keep writing. (:
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PostSubject: Re: The Dead Rise Again. *Chapter Four is out*   Mon Nov 21, 2011 8:12 am

Chapter two is up :3

and thanks Taost. I appreciate it ^^
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PostSubject: Re: The Dead Rise Again. *Chapter Four is out*   Mon Nov 21, 2011 10:38 am

I love this...the descriptive text is perfect. I want to be able to write like that eventually...
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PostSubject: Re: The Dead Rise Again. *Chapter Four is out*   Mon Nov 21, 2011 2:00 pm

Silmaril wrote:
I love this...the descriptive text is perfect. I want to be able to write like that eventually...

Why thank you ^^

Though if you like what I'm doing you should really go back and look at what Makki writes. That's some very impressive writing. I'm rather enjoying this setting and plot. This is just what my creation deprived brain needed.
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PostSubject: Re: The Dead Rise Again. *Chapter Four is out*   Mon Nov 21, 2011 4:04 pm

rin wrote:
Relora wrote:
Prologue
Spoiler:
 

Comments, ratings, constructive criticism all appreciated ^^


I have some grammar corrections if I may.
1.can not is cannot
2.10 and over is written in numeral form
3.dieing is dying
I can't find anything else it's very good other than that ^.^

I am seriously getting sick of all these grammar nazis.

I dont think she posted that whole thing just so that people can reply saying that she misspelled 2 words. Honestly, who gives a crap. Everybody makes grammatical errors. Everyone. Comment on the story, not her misspellings.

Why do you guys do it anyway? How is pointing out that she used 'can not', instead of 'cannot' relevant? Am I missing something? Is it to make yourself look smart? I'll tell you right now, it's not working, it's annoying.

Anyway, I didnt get to read the whole thing yet, and I've got to go. I'll finish it later and edit this post out with my opinion on the story. I just had to get that stuff off of my chest.
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PostSubject: Re: The Dead Rise Again. *Chapter Four is out*   Mon Nov 21, 2011 4:13 pm

Spy-der wrote:
rin wrote:
Relora wrote:
Prologue
Spoiler:
 

Comments, ratings, constructive criticism all appreciated ^^


I have some grammar corrections if I may.
1.can not is cannot
2.10 and over is written in numeral form
3.dieing is dying
I can't find anything else it's very good other than that ^.^

I am seriously getting sick of all these grammar nazis.

I dont think she posted that whole thing just so that people can reply saying that she misspelled 2 words. Honestly, who gives a crap. Everybody makes grammatical errors. Everyone. Comment on the story, not her misspellings.

Why do you guys do it anyway? How is pointing out that she used 'can not', instead of 'cannot' relevant? Am I missing something? Is it to make yourself look smart? I'll tell you right now, it's not working, it's annoying.

Anyway, I didnt get to read the whole thing yet, and I've got to go. I'll finish it later and edit this post out with my opinion on the story. I just had to get that stuff off of my chest.
This. I'm sorry to have to use personal examples, and I hope I don't sound like I'm whining, but ... I wrote a story a while ago, and almost immediately I got a comment. Of course, it was just someone complimenting my grammar and nothing else. That isn't constructive in the least.

Frankly, I'm sure most writers would rather you completely take apart their story and hate every line rather than comment on their grammar. That's like commenting on our typing speed, for Christ's sake! The only thing it makes obvious is that you don't care. Apathy is worse than hatred, art-wise.

Anyway, I'll be critiquing this story in a few! The first few lines sound good, I'll try to see what I think about the whole thing later.
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PostSubject: Re: The Dead Rise Again. *Chapter Four is out*   Mon Nov 21, 2011 4:13 pm

Spy-der wrote:
rin wrote:
Relora wrote:
Prologue
Spoiler:
 

Comments, ratings, constructive criticism all appreciated ^^


I have some grammar corrections if I may.
1.can not is cannot
2.10 and over is written in numeral form
3.dieing is dying
I can't find anything else it's very good other than that ^.^

I am seriously getting sick of all these grammar nazis.

I dont think she posted that whole thing just so that people can reply saying that she misspelled 2 words. Honestly, who gives a crap. Everybody makes grammatical errors. Everyone. Comment on the story, not her misspellings.

Why do you guys do it anyway? How is pointing out that she used 'can not', instead of 'cannot' relevant? Am I missing something? Is it to make yourself look smart? I'll tell you right now, it's not working, it's annoying.

Anyway, I didnt get to read the whole thing yet, and I've got to go. I'll finish it later and edit this post out with my opinion on the story. I just had to get that stuff off of my chest.



That is all.
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PostSubject: Re: The Dead Rise Again. *Chapter Four is out*   Mon Nov 21, 2011 4:19 pm

I love it C:!



I'm not much of criticism person.
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PostSubject: Re: The Dead Rise Again. *Chapter Four is out*   Mon Nov 21, 2011 4:20 pm

A wrote:
PLEASE don't make chapters.
Because then you'll never end it.
Just make a long story, make an ending. Get to the point.
Don't start writing and inventing stuff on the way.
Hey, some of us already have it typed up somewhere else and we continue posting it here. My manteío story got to 20+ chapters before I stopped writing it, and even THEN it was because nobody read it after a certain point.
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PostSubject: Re: The Dead Rise Again. *Chapter Four is out*   Mon Nov 21, 2011 4:26 pm

@Makki, Agreed. Oh and good to hear ^^ I've been eagerly awaiting your critique.

@Spyder, I agree. If I want grammar mistakes fixed all I have to do is ask my dad. He's just a stone's throw away. I want help with the characters the setting, the plot. One mistake I already saw is no body knows what the narrator's name is. I'm surprised no one has made mention of it. I'm happy I caught it myself I'll edit it in some time after I hear Maki's critique, your thoughts or I decide to work on chapter three.

Though I do appreciate the grammar fix non-the-less. It's not what I'm really looking for. I would love to hear more on how smoothly or choppy the story is. If people are interested or not. If the characters are realistic. If the tone and setting seem right for this time. That's what I'm looking for in critiques and what not.

Edit: @Anni, that's okay. Saying it was good was just as good as a critique. I'm happy you are enjoying it so far ^^
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PostSubject: Re: The Dead Rise Again. *Chapter Four is out*   Mon Nov 21, 2011 4:37 pm

Relora wrote:
@Makki, Agreed. Oh and good to hear ^^ I've been eagerly awaiting your critique.

@Spyder, I agree. If I want grammar mistakes fixed all I have to do is ask my dad. He's just a stone's throw away. I want help with the characters the setting, the plot. One mistake I already saw is no body knows what the narrator's name is. I'm surprised no one has made mention of it. I'm happy I caught it myself I'll edit it in some time after I hear Maki's critique, your thoughts or I decide to work on chapter three.

Though I do appreciate the grammar fix non-the-less. It's not what I'm really looking for. I would love to hear more on how smoothly or choppy the story is. If people are interested or not. If the characters are realistic. If the tone and setting seem right for this time. That's what I'm looking for in critiques and what not.

Edit: @Anni, that's okay. Saying it was good was just as good as a critique. I'm happy you are enjoying it so far ^^
Meh, I don't really correct grammar in stories, I'm bad at grammar. Unless they actually ask for EVERY SINGLE grammar mistake...then I might. But I obviously won't find it. ..Sometimes I get a bit off-topic and comment on the grammar. :I
I'll start reading chapter two. I didn't notice that it came out...
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PostSubject: Re: The Dead Rise Again. *Chapter Four is out*   Thu Nov 24, 2011 6:50 am

I VOTED SPECTACULAR =D
That is awesome, Rel!
Keep it up!
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