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 The White Feather

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Winnowill
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PostSubject: The White Feather   Sat Nov 26, 2011 3:11 pm

I wrote this to practice better descriptive text...

Spoiler:
 


Last edited by Silmaril on Mon Nov 28, 2011 4:33 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Blue
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PostSubject: Re: The White Feather   Mon Nov 28, 2011 8:49 am

Wow, that's awesome, Silmaril! Simply smashing!
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Relora
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PostSubject: Re: The White Feather   Mon Nov 28, 2011 1:44 pm

quite beautiful in my opinion. The only thing I'd have to say is you used onomatopoeia , it's not ordinarily used in more advanced writing. But you can still use it, it's completely okay to use it. It's more of a rarity when it comes to writing from what I've seen and heard though.
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PostSubject: Re: The White Feather   Mon Nov 28, 2011 1:53 pm

Your writing skill is high. ;w;
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Bluerivers
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PostSubject: Re: The White Feather   Mon Nov 28, 2011 1:54 pm

This is not my taste.
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Winnowill
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PostSubject: Re: The White Feather   Mon Nov 28, 2011 2:02 pm

Thank you guys!!

@Relora Thanks! I'll remember that in the future...
@Bluerivers Sorry...
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exclusive
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PostSubject: Re: The White Feather   Mon Nov 28, 2011 3:26 pm

really good! c;
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Mila
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PostSubject: Re: The White Feather   Mon Nov 28, 2011 3:30 pm

awesome Wink u seem really into it, which is good when your writing...... i think
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Relora
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PostSubject: Re: The White Feather   Mon Nov 28, 2011 4:17 pm

FantageLuver wrote:
awesome ;) u seem really into it, which is good when your writing...... i think

Yea it is. At least for me it is.

Not everyone's the same though lol
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Makkine
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PostSubject: Re: The White Feather   Tue Nov 29, 2011 7:05 pm

Silmaril, I'm afraid you've gone way too far into the other end and have fallen into one of the more common bugs for intermediate writers: over-description. Look up purple prose and remember, subtlety is great and adjectives are not. Cheers!
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Winnowill
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PostSubject: Re: The White Feather   Tue Nov 29, 2011 8:15 pm

Thank you Makkine! I will look that up.
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Winnowill
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PostSubject: Re: The White Feather   Mon Dec 05, 2011 9:51 am

I was playing with making this story part of a larger one. I also fixed the descriptive text that I agreed with Makkine in that it was excessive. I have a strange fondness for doing bizarre psychological stories with lots of dreams.

Spoiler:
 
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PostSubject: Re: The White Feather   Today at 6:49 am

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