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 The Mystery ( May Be Short )

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giffy12
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giffy12

Posts : 245
Join date : 2011-09-03
Age : 107
Location : Looking at your room,hey it looks nice!

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PostSubject: The Mystery ( May Be Short )   The Mystery ( May Be Short ) EmptyWed Dec 07, 2011 7:03 pm

So I got back my composition and got an A .
It may not be that good , so you can read it and let me know what you think!

Spoiler:
 

Hope you liked it!


Last edited by giffy12 on Thu Dec 08, 2011 6:09 pm; edited 1 time in total
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o
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Posts : 4269
Join date : 2011-11-11
Age : 18
Location : California

The Mystery ( May Be Short ) Empty
PostSubject: Re: The Mystery ( May Be Short )   The Mystery ( May Be Short ) EmptyThu Dec 08, 2011 2:03 am

Very good. In the future though,try avoiding saying things such as "that was my story!". Instead, give the reader the same message, just with different words. Close the writing, don't tell the reader he/she just read something. They already know that.

8.5/10
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Blue
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Blue

Posts : 3257
Join date : 2011-05-04
Age : 105
Location : How am I supposed to know? D; LOCATING MYSELF IS HARD.

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PostSubject: Re: The Mystery ( May Be Short )   The Mystery ( May Be Short ) EmptyThu Dec 08, 2011 5:08 am

Cute, but it has an abrupt starting and ending. o-o
And do you know the meaning of literally? I can't understand half the story, no offense.
But it's good. 7.8/10.
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giffy12
Regular Fantagian
giffy12

Posts : 245
Join date : 2011-09-03
Age : 107
Location : Looking at your room,hey it looks nice!

The Mystery ( May Be Short ) Empty
PostSubject: Re: The Mystery ( May Be Short )   The Mystery ( May Be Short ) EmptyThu Dec 08, 2011 6:11 pm

Thx for the feedback!
Oh and I just got another composition today Neutral
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