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 Love-stuck Chapter 3 IS OUT!!!

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taehyung
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PostSubject: Love-stuck Chapter 3 IS OUT!!!   Thu Dec 08, 2011 1:10 pm

Hi Guest now you will read my latest story LoveStuck(from homestuck) Hope you'll love my story enjoy reading!
Characters:
 

Character descriptions:
 

Description:
 

Chapter 1:
 

Chapter 2:
 

Chapter 3:
 


Last edited by **cutey_larl** on Wed Jan 04, 2012 3:46 am; edited 4 times in total
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Relora
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PostSubject: Re: Love-stuck Chapter 3 IS OUT!!!   Thu Dec 08, 2011 4:36 pm

No offense, but I don't see how this ties into homestuck all to well :s

other than that pretty good.
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elise
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PostSubject: Re: Love-stuck Chapter 3 IS OUT!!!   Thu Dec 08, 2011 5:19 pm

Relora wrote:
No offence I don't see how this ties to homestuck :s other than that pretty good.



Agreed with Relora, Nice story though



P.S why didn't you use homestuck people?
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elsa ♡
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PostSubject: Re: Love-stuck Chapter 3 IS OUT!!!   Thu Dec 08, 2011 5:53 pm

**cutey_larl** wrote:


I went to the bathroom and took a shower,i wore a pink shirt with a black scruffy jacket,black pants with black converse,now time to fix my hair i made it curly with two ponies now i'm ready.I went walking to school i saw Assi i followed her,O-No now were lost we forgot the way
Critique time! :3

You have a lot of run-on sentences. This one being the biggest. You also need capitals, correct punctuation, and punctuation in places they're supposed be. Some grammatical errors, too. I felt as though the story went to fast, and it didn't catch my interest, sorry.

Hermmm, I rate it... about 8.5/10. 030
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FruitCake
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PostSubject: Re: Love-stuck Chapter 3 IS OUT!!!   Thu Dec 08, 2011 5:54 pm

Elise_wubz_chu_teddy Very Happy wrote:
Relora wrote:
No offence I don't see how this ties to homestuck :s other than that pretty good.



Agreed with Relora, Nice story though


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taehyung
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PostSubject: Re: Love-stuck Chapter 3 IS OUT!!!   Thu Dec 08, 2011 10:15 pm

Likei got the story name from homestuck i changed home to love (its only the story title)
I know punctuation mistake I'll edit it later cause now i woke up.
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Zack
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PostSubject: Re: Love-stuck Chapter 3 IS OUT!!!   Wed Jan 04, 2012 3:49 am

Hi.
This story is nice it grabbed my antention.
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Mustard
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PostSubject: Re: Love-stuck Chapter 3 IS OUT!!!   Wed Jan 04, 2012 4:54 pm

eh 3/10
heard this kind of story
millions of times
i'm pretty sure i already know the ending.
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Guest
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PostSubject: Re: Love-stuck Chapter 3 IS OUT!!!   Wed Jan 04, 2012 4:56 pm

Mustard wrote:
eh 3/10
heard this kind of story
millions of times
i'm pretty sure i already know the ending.
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Zelda
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PostSubject: Re: Love-stuck Chapter 3 IS OUT!!!   Wed Jan 04, 2012 7:28 pm

You totally stole Chapter 3 from the movie "Another Cinderella Story". x3 I like the story, but you need to make original. It should be your story, not something from a movie.
Also, stuff like this kind of bugs me:
Quote :
I falled when i reached the Candy. It should be: I fell when I reached for the candy.
The grammar is incorrect. It definitely got a lot better since the first chapter, but I think you still need to work on your grammar.
Overall, I give your story an 8/10 (:
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castiel
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PostSubject: Re: Love-stuck Chapter 3 IS OUT!!!   Thu Jan 05, 2012 12:48 am

ASSi?
^^
LOL.
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Relora
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PostSubject: Re: Love-stuck Chapter 3 IS OUT!!!   Thu Jan 05, 2012 3:26 pm

billehnessy wrote:
ASSi?
^^
LOL.

it was a typo she meant lissa xD
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Mila
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PostSubject: Re: Love-stuck Chapter 3 IS OUT!!!   Thu Jan 05, 2012 3:30 pm

assi hahaha that made CRACK UP. i was literally on the floor , laughing. no fense. i liked it. i give it a 8
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TheShyOtaku
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PostSubject: Re: Love-stuck Chapter 3 IS OUT!!!   Thu Jan 05, 2012 3:54 pm

nice story Very Happy
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Flynn
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PostSubject: Re: Love-stuck Chapter 3 IS OUT!!!   Tue Jan 24, 2012 11:48 am

It's really cute. I give it a 7.5.
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alex
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PostSubject: Re: Love-stuck Chapter 3 IS OUT!!!   Tue Jan 24, 2012 6:20 pm

Mr.Taost wrote:
Mustard wrote:
eh 3/10
heard this kind of story
millions of times
i'm pretty sure i already know the ending.
This^^

Also, just because you named it similar to Homestuck, it has NOTHING to do with it.

_________________


tumblr / 내 호버크라프트는 장어로 가득 차 있어요. ㅡㅅㅡ
thank u elliot for the pic of me n my gf♥
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Usui
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PostSubject: Re: Love-stuck Chapter 3 IS OUT!!!   Tue Jan 24, 2012 6:22 pm

N wrote:
Mr.Taost wrote:
Mustard wrote:
eh 3/10
heard this kind of story
millions of times
i'm pretty sure i already know the ending.
This^^

Also, just because you named it similar to Homestuck, it has NOTHING to do with it.

I totally agree with all of this.
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Winnowill
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PostSubject: Re: Love-stuck Chapter 3 IS OUT!!!   Wed Jan 25, 2012 4:19 pm

It's not a bad story, but it seems to have a plot that's a little too predictable, which has already been pointed out. The title is also misleading, because it suggests a Homestuck fanfic which, it obviously isn't. I would suggest that you try changing the title and adding a few plot twists and new elements.
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PostSubject: Re: Love-stuck Chapter 3 IS OUT!!!   Today at 9:27 pm

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Love-stuck Chapter 3 IS OUT!!!
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