| Rocker-Tara | |
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+6Alyssa:) 01sparkly Usui Melissa H. o Golden-Star 10 posters |
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Golden-Star Loyal Fantagian
Posts : 1818 Join date : 2012-01-13 Age : 111 Location : My Candy Love Academy
| Subject: Rocker-Tara Sun Jan 22, 2012 11:16 am | |
| My new story Rocker-Tara, here are the characters - Spoiler:
Tara Robinson Age: 15 Tara is a small town girl who's parents charmed her to play an instrument (violin) but ended up liking the guitar. Melody Daniels Age: 15 Tara's best friend who likes to play the flute July Henry Age: 15 Tara's enemy hates her playing the guitar because she played it first before her "Charm incidence" Danny Track Age: 15 Tara's director/music producer There will be more characters
Summary - Spoiler:
Tara Robinson has born! All her new family members come. Her mom and dad secretly charms her with a instrument power called "The Instrument Hand" This means she we'll play a instrument that will cause her to become to best musician ever. But her parents want her to be a violin player but ends up playing the guitar more, her parents are disappointed in her so they send her to music boarding school where one of the mean relatives work there, so pretending to take violin classes she goes into to guitar and plays but one of the students hates her, what will happen.
This is just the summary not the story (yet) | |
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o Veteran Fantagian
Posts : 4270 Join date : 2011-11-11 Age : 23
| Subject: Re: Rocker-Tara Sun Jan 22, 2012 3:07 pm | |
| It's a cool story line, however, you need to work on your grammar. There is huge run-on sentence in there, and I personally think that you should proofread your writing before posting.
Also, if you are creating the characters, then there would be no pictures of them on the internet. So instead of taking somebody else's art, I would suggest making it even more customized by drawing them on your own, or asking somebody you know to draw them for you. That way, they can look however you want them to, and they can be posing whichever way you want. | |
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Golden-Star Loyal Fantagian
Posts : 1818 Join date : 2012-01-13 Age : 111 Location : My Candy Love Academy
| Subject: Re: Rocker-Tara Sun Jan 22, 2012 3:08 pm | |
| ^^ Thanks for the advice ill work on it | |
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o Veteran Fantagian
Posts : 4270 Join date : 2011-11-11 Age : 23
| Subject: Re: Rocker-Tara Sun Jan 22, 2012 3:10 pm | |
| - *** Swag Down Pack *** wrote:
- ^^ Thanks for the advice ill work on it
No problem. Your story is in its early stages, so mistakes are likely, not bad. | |
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Melissa H. Dedicated Fantagian
Posts : 1447 Join date : 2011-10-26 Age : 22 Location : Oh i live somewhere over the rainbow
| Subject: Re: Rocker-Tara Sun Jan 22, 2012 3:28 pm | |
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Usui Hero Fantagian
Posts : 5275 Join date : 2011-09-09 Age : 24 Location : Worldbuscus
| Subject: Re: Rocker-Tara Sun Jan 22, 2012 4:00 pm | |
| Nice I can't wait to read it (: | |
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01sparkly Devoted Fantagian
Posts : 680 Join date : 2011-07-12 Age : 24 Location : Somewhere where you will never know O.o
| Subject: Re: Rocker-Tara Sun Jan 22, 2012 6:03 pm | |
| Nice! As said above I can't wait to read it! (:
Off topic: kat_kat I like your avvi lol (: | |
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Alyssa:) Senior Fantagian
Posts : 404 Join date : 2011-09-01 Age : 25 Location : United States
| Subject: Re: Rocker-Tara Sun Jan 22, 2012 6:27 pm | |
| Looks pretty interesting Off-topic: Yay! My spacebar works again!! (: I can't wait to see when it's complete. | |
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Flynn Legendary Fantagian
Posts : 12278 Join date : 2012-01-14 Age : 25 Location : The gallows
| Subject: Re: Rocker-Tara Mon Jan 23, 2012 2:25 pm | |
| The characters aren't emo enough. But it's pretty good, anyway. | |
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alex Moderator
Posts : 23507 Join date : 2010-08-10 Age : 24 Location : google maps
| Subject: Re: Rocker-Tara Mon Jan 23, 2012 7:00 pm | |
| - Yuffiecrystal wrote:
- The characters aren't emo enough. But it's pretty good, anyway.
How does that comply to the story..? ===== I like the story, yet it seems kinda repetitive (there's tons of animes/mangas with a plot similar, and it seems kinda cliche). You have potential, though! c: | |
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Winnowill Loyal Fantagian
Posts : 1929 Join date : 2011-10-28
| Subject: Re: Rocker-Tara Mon Jan 23, 2012 7:55 pm | |
| I really like the idea of an anime type story with musician characters. I do agree with Hop in that Google Images shouldn't limit your options for character appearance, although it can serve as an inspiration. | |
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MsJoyMaeda Hero Fantagian
Posts : 5830 Join date : 2010-12-13 Age : 24
| Subject: Re: Rocker-Tara Mon Jan 23, 2012 8:15 pm | |
| I really like the way you planned out the story. The only thing is, you need to work on your grammar. I really can't understand what your saying. Bold= Corrections Cross out= not needed - Spoiler:
Tara Robinson has been born! All her new family members came to see her. Her mom and dad secretly charms her with a instrument power called "The Instrument Hand". This means she will play an instrument that will cause her to and become the best musician ever.But Her parents want her to be a violin player, but she ends up playing the guitar more instead. So, her parents are disappointed in her. so They send her to music boarding school where one of the mean relatives work there., so pretending to take violin classes She goes into to playing the guitar and plays, but one of the students hates her. What will happen?
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