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 Friends And Frenemies Chapter ~ 1 Truth or Not?

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~Kitty~x3
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PostSubject: Friends And Frenemies Chapter ~ 1 Truth or Not?   Tue Feb 21, 2012 8:01 pm

Chapter 1 ~
"Natalie!!!" Mom called from downstairs. "What is it mom! I'm tryin' to get some rest here, I have a big presentation tomorrow!" Natalie hollered back. "Well, incase you didn't know TODAY is the big day for your presentation and your going to be late!!" Mom shouted back and fourth. "WHAT!" I quickly popped out of bed and looked at the clock. "7:30.." "are you serious?!" I snatched anything out of the closet which happened to be my favorite yellow blouse with my beige sweater,black skinny jeans, and yellow high tops."Sigh, I still look beutiful though..." I swiftly put on my clothes and as fast as a mouse scurrying I grabbed my hot pink tooth brush and began to brush my teeth. Brush, brush , brush my tooth brush went. "Pa-tooie!" I spat in the sink and grabbed my purple bookbag and ran to the kitchen. I shoved a strawberry poptart and stared at my watch waiting while tapping my foot. The toast nearly caught on fire because I started ripping the poptart out of the toaster. "Bye Mom , love ya and catch ya later when the leaves fly!" 'Bye sweetie and good luck.!"
I had to walk 4 blocks just to get to school because school was right around the block but, I suddenly saw something shimmering in the light. Buried beneath under a few huddled rocks was a beautiful shimmering silver feather. I bent down and began to tug on it. I noticed it wasn't just a feather it was a wing attached to a heart clip. "Hmm.." I examined it and I put it in my book bag and I started running to school again because I only had 3 minutes to get to school. I had to run up the street and I finally arrived and I had a minute left. "Oh Man!!!" I ran to my locker and got unpacked and prepared for the presentation on birds. ~~LATER THAT DAY~~~ "Okay, next up is, Natalie Baker! Please come up with your project please." Mr.ColeMan my science teacher, said briefly. "Deep breathes...all eyes are on me." I thought to myself. I put the SD card in the computer and a screen appeared on the wall of a slide show. "Birds..." I explained about the specific animal birds. Everything was well until I mistakenly put one of the pictures of me looking like a doof with a can of CHEEZ-IT cheese spray. I slapped my forehead and said "Agh!" I tried to quickly click off of the picture but, the computer froze...best of my luck.. Everyone cracked up..even my crush Aaron, whos face was about to turn red of laughter. My face turned red.. I was mad and angry but, kind of glad that my two BFF's in the whole wide world; Amy and Khloey weren't laughing but, they were just smiling. "Okay, enough Natalie go sit down, thinking you can be class clown..psh." Mr.Coleman said. I couldn't believe it. I bet you 2 number 2 pencils that Mr.Coleman wanted to laugh too. I felt ashamed. When the bell rang my friends came and hit me on the back. "OMG girl, Nat! That was so funny! We didn't want to embaress you even more so we tried our best not to laugh." Amy said. Amy is so kind and funny too, but, she can even be the most inspiring even Khloe..Khloe has her mood swings but shes a good friend too. "Hah, Nat I wouldn't have laughed for a million dollars!" Khloe said. " Thanks guys but, I'm still embaressed...even Aaron laughed. Sigh" I said. "Look, here comes frenemy Stephany. "Your weird little friend Sophie is such a jerk Natalie! Look what she did to me!" Stephany shouted with a chocolate stain on her gorgeous sequin top. I forgot to mention another BFF in the world was...Sophie or, as I call her Soph. Sophie looked like she wanted to cry, I wanted to one because, seeing her sad mad me sad two, I was embaressed and haressed. I grabbed Sophie by the shoulder and said "Lets go. Goodbye Big Step!" The trio of us stormed of into the distance while Stephany sobbed to get Aaron's attention without her other Barbie dolls with her since they were probably somewhere chatting without her because Big Step (Stephany) can be so rude. She's always interrupting Alexa and Patricia (the other two Barbie dolls) Amy whipped her long brown hair while Khloe twisted her medium cut blonde hair. Sophie had jet black hair, it was so shiny! Meanwhile, I have dark brown hair so I just sat at the table watching each of them do their hair then, the lunch bell rang for 7th graders. ~ What will happen next to the girls? Should I continue? PLZ LET ME KNOW Very Happy LOL Thnx..


Last edited by _natalia_ on Tue Feb 21, 2012 8:07 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Alyssa:)
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PostSubject: Re: Friends And Frenemies Chapter ~ 1 Truth or Not?   Tue Feb 21, 2012 8:06 pm

I understood it up to here:
"Look, here comes frenemy Stephany. "Your weird little friend Sophie is such a jerk Natalie! Look what she did to me!" Stephany shouted with a chocolate stain on her gorgeous sequin top. I forgot to mention another BFF in the world was...Sophie or, as I call her Soph. Sophie looked like she wanted to cry, I wanted to one because, seeing her sad mad me sad two, I was embaressed and haressed. I grabbed Sophie by the shoulder and said "Lets go. Goodbye Big Step!" The trio of us stormed of into the distance while Stephany sobbed to get Aaron's attention without her other Barbie dolls with her since they were probably somewhere chatting without her because Big Step (Stephanie) can be so rude. She's always interrupting Alexa and Patricia (the other two Barbie dolls) Amy whipped her long brown hair while Khloe twisted her medium cut blonde hair. Sophie had jet black hair, it was so shiny! Meanwhile, I have dark brown hair so I just sat at the table watching each of them do their hair then, the lunch bell rang for 7th graders. ~ What will happen next to the girls? Should I continue? PLZ LET ME KNOW LOL Thnx..
---
Overall it's really good. Funny too, with drama. 10/10
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~Kitty~x3
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PostSubject: Re: Friends And Frenemies Chapter ~ 1 Truth or Not?   Tue Feb 21, 2012 8:13 pm

Lol thanks. That part was the introduction for stephany the meanie she was kinda friends with natalie but shes a "betrayer" xp i'll get into that part later xD and the end near the story about them doing hair was supposed to be a little hint of what they look like because i wasnt trying to write a whole bunch of stuff becuz i gtg soon XD LOL so yea, thanks for the kind feedback c:!!! I'll continue Very Happy LOL but, it'll have to be tomorrow c: so thanks! Razz
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~Kitty~x3
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PostSubject: Re: Friends And Frenemies Chapter ~ 1 Truth or Not?   Tue Feb 21, 2012 8:17 pm

Oh yea, and I guess i didnt pay attention to when stephany had the stain on her shirt I guess I'll have to fix that because supposely Sophie i guess was..lol was getting her lunch box and stephany's locker was beside hers so Sophie was rushing because the lunch bell was about to ring and she accidently bumped into Steph ( They call her big step because shes tall and she acts like a big bully sometimes!) Lol yea so thanks for that too I'll have to fix that sometime when I get the next chance like tomorrow! Lol Very Happy
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alex
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PostSubject: Re: Friends And Frenemies Chapter ~ 1 Truth or Not?   Tue Feb 21, 2012 8:44 pm

I've seen some grammar errors here and there, but overall it's really good!
The only thing I'd suggest is making a new paragrph per dialouge.

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tumblr / 내 호버크라프트는 장어로 가득 차 있어요. ㅡㅅㅡ
thank u elliot for the pic of me n my gf♥
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~Kitty~x3
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PostSubject: Re: Friends And Frenemies Chapter ~ 1 Truth or Not?   Wed Feb 22, 2012 8:10 pm

Chapter 2~~ The Friends of Friends
The lunch bell rang and everyone started running to the lunchroom. When the trio of us arrived to the cafeteria Sophie went ahead and sat down at table eight which, of course, was our table. From the corner of my eye, I saw Aaron...sitting beside Sophie? While I was in the lunch line I was hardly paying attention and the lunch lady, Ms.Peales, was watching me. "Fetching young man. Yes?" Ms.Peales said. "Um.." I said stuttering and I looked around to see who she was talking to, even though, I already knew she was talking to me. I quickly walked away and said "Phew." When I got to the table Aaron was still there. My heart started beating hard and fast. Did he want to see me? Did he like any of my friends and not me? I started sweating like crazy and I sat at the far end of table eight. Khloe and Amy sat infront of me and I frowned for one of them to sit beside me. Nope. Too late. Aaron walked over to me and sat right there BESIDE me! I started blushing like mad craziness! I literally felt like the green beans I was eating wanted to come out of my nose!

gtg cnt finish this part now ;p
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Sandy
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PostSubject: Re: Friends And Frenemies Chapter ~ 1 Truth or Not?   Wed Feb 22, 2012 10:01 pm

very interesting, although a few mistakes here and there Smile
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Flynn
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PostSubject: Re: Friends And Frenemies Chapter ~ 1 Truth or Not?   Thu Feb 23, 2012 6:35 am

I don't get any of this (since i have no friends), but it seems like a good story. And yes, I'm happy without friends bugging me constantly.
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Relora
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PostSubject: Re: Friends And Frenemies Chapter ~ 1 Truth or Not?   Tue Feb 28, 2012 4:35 pm

It's very nice, but formatting is an issue.

Gotta make indents for your paragraphs yo ;D

Very enjoyable nonetheless ;3


Last edited by Relora on Tue Feb 28, 2012 4:37 pm; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : lol derpy spelly check is derpy xD)
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PostSubject: Re: Friends And Frenemies Chapter ~ 1 Truth or Not?   Today at 2:50 pm

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