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 A story I am writing.

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Abstract
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PostSubject: A story I am writing.   Sun Apr 22, 2012 3:15 pm

(Update: (Chapter 16 edited, it should make a bit more sense. 17 starting)

Hi FForumers. Well I decided to make a story during the weekends (like a few months ago, but I got lazy so I never started) and I plan to start doing it now. This is what I have so far (and it's very long by the way)

:

A First Speech / Chapter 1:
 
This pointless argument / Chapter 2:
 
What an experience / Chapter 3:
 
This Man?/ Chapter 4:
 
How dare she! / chapter 5:
 
Here's the plan/ chapter 6:
 
The move out/ Chapter 7:
 
A thought that led me closer/ Chapter 8:
 
Blow in the surge/ chapter 9:
 
The next day/chapter 10:
 
Thanks for the help/ chapter 11:
 
Over-reactions/ chapter 12:
 
The mean, but thoughtful / chapter 13:
 
Where and how it works!/ Chapter 14:
 

Our fifth day, don't drive to this/chapter 15:
 
I guess I have to ride solo:
 

Challenge Accepted / chapter 17 (continuing later):
 
Any tips are accepted by the way. C: And I'm typing my story here because I don't have Microsoft word, I just hope my work is kept here for a while.


Last edited by Abstract on Thu Jul 12, 2012 12:33 pm; edited 50 times in total
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alex
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PostSubject: Re: A story I am writing.   Sun Apr 22, 2012 3:21 pm

I was a little confused , but I enjoyed it. ^^

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tumblr / 내 호버크라프트는 장어로 가득 차 있어요. ㅡㅅㅡ
thank u elliot for the pic of me n my gf♥
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summercub123
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PostSubject: Re: A story I am writing.   Sun Apr 22, 2012 4:48 pm

Very good.
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♠Luka♠
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PostSubject: Re: A story I am writing.   Sun Apr 22, 2012 5:34 pm

I was to lazy to read so.

*5 minutes later.*

I think you should give a little detail and introductions at the beginning, but so far 9/10!
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Abstract
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PostSubject: Re: A story I am writing.   Wed Apr 25, 2012 8:17 pm

I updated with 3 chapters. I know, they are very long, and the story has kind of started slow, but I'm working on it. Any tips?
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MsJoyMaeda
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PostSubject: Re: A story I am writing.   Thu Apr 26, 2012 6:02 am

This story is really good! You must continue it!

I was listening to "Nemo Egg" from "Finding Nemo" while reading this. This person goes through horrible times- he misses his father, is treated like a slave, and never gets breaks. And that music sets the mood.

Continue it!!!
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Abstract
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PostSubject: Re: A story I am writing.   Sat May 19, 2012 6:54 pm

Thank you! (Updated May 19)

By the way, I used those program called Open office for the story. I edit-ed it a bit there, I have to put the new chapters for the forum. Anyway, I am working on chapter 12, hope you like it.
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Abstract
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PostSubject: Re: A story I am writing.   Tue May 29, 2012 5:00 pm

Thank you for your opinion. I will work my best on improving the story, but I don't know about that, hehe.

Anyway, I finally got finished with chapter 12. I don't know if this is considered an old topic or anything, but I am still updating it. I hardly even got through. (Though, I only have like 2-4 paragraphs in each chapter, so it's pretty short lol.)
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Usui
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PostSubject: Re: A story I am writing.   Tue May 29, 2012 5:15 pm

Nice story I like it so far,
Though I did get a bit confused, but this is a pretty good story.
Probably better than most of the stories here on this forum.
Good job, continue doing your story. I can't wait to read some more.
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Abstract
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PostSubject: Re: A story I am writing.   Wed Jun 20, 2012 5:15 pm

Thank you!

At chapter 16 I might start revising a lot and bundling chapters together. Like one chapter with have part 1/part. Part 1 would have been chapter 1 and part 2 would have been chapter 2; like part 1 to chapter 13 and part 2 to chapter 14.

Anyway, please critique on anything. I put a note at the top for our viewers. I didn't really intend for this story to be deep with detail, but mostly the characters themselves are important.
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Squirtle
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PostSubject: Re: A story I am writing.   Wed Jun 20, 2012 7:00 pm

i really like it!
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Abstract
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PostSubject: Re: A story I am writing.   Sat Jun 30, 2012 7:07 pm

Thank you. Smile

Finnaallyy chapter 16 is done. Note, it is more like a filler chapter, it may be kind of like, "the point of this is?" Well, don't worry, you'll see. Wink
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Abstract
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PostSubject: Re: A story I am writing.   Thu Jul 12, 2012 12:20 pm

Sorry I didn't work on this for a week or so. I am finally going to start chapter 17, and I edited chapter 16 so it could make more sense.

Sorry for double posting.
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Broccoli
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PostSubject: Re: A story I am writing.   Sat Jul 21, 2012 9:19 pm

Uhm.. well the 3rd and 4th chapters like the wording is messed up or something.. Can't seem to understand properly? So your in your room and you cough and you hear a man? and u see ur mom with a man on the couch.. and they go to his house for dinner??? It's a rlly god story just those chapeters are kind of hard to follow.
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PostSubject: Re: A story I am writing.   Today at 12:56 pm

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A story I am writing.
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