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| | Spirit of the Forest |  |
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Rufistar
Veteran Fantagian
Posts : 3155
Join date : 2012-06-14
| Subject: Spirit of the Forest  Wed Sep 05, 2012 8:09 pm | |
| It was a dark and stormy night.
Danari stood on the cliff, alone, looking at the moon. She did not know why she was outside in such a storm. All the other creatures of the forest were in their shelter, either burrows, caves, or under a leafy tree. But Danari was not like the other creatures of the forest. For one, she had a ram's horns and hind legs, but a dog's face and body. And wings. The only other creatures she knew that had wings were birds and bats. Danari seemed one-of-a-kind.
So she stood there. It made a strange silhouette, a ram-wolf in the light of the moon. Lightning flashed. A moment later thunder rumbled. It was really starting to rain now. Danari took one last glance at the moon, turned around, and flew into the forest.
Working on it...
Last edited by Rufistar on Wed Sep 05, 2012 8:30 pm; edited 1 time in total | |
| | | | Guest
Guest
| | Subject: Re: Spirit of the Forest Wed Sep 05, 2012 8:12 pm | |
| So beautiful. I love the description. |
| | | | Rufistar
Veteran Fantagian
Posts : 3155
Join date : 2012-06-14
| | Subject: Re: Spirit of the Forest Wed Sep 05, 2012 8:16 pm | |
| I'm going to change it to Damari since every time I read Damani I say Damari in my head. Should I? | |
| | | | Guest
Guest
| | Subject: Re: Spirit of the Forest Wed Sep 05, 2012 8:19 pm | |
| - Rufistar wrote:
- I'm going to change it to Damari since every time I read Damani I say Damari in my head. Should I?
Do it. Its your story after all! Awesome awesome awesome! |
| | | | alex
Moderator
Posts : 23507
Join date : 2010-08-10
Age : 25
Location : google maps
| | Subject: Re: Spirit of the Forest Wed Sep 05, 2012 8:39 pm | |
| This was very interesting! I love how you described her, it's interesting. c: | |
| | | | Cefie
Dedicated Fantagian
Posts : 1305
Join date : 2012-06-12
Age : 25
Location : Oh no! I've gone missing. Can you find me?
| | Subject: Re: Spirit of the Forest Wed Sep 05, 2012 10:31 pm | |
| Ooh, it's nice.
Well, we know nothing about her yet. Perhaps describe her through actions she does in the next scene?
What do you want happen to her?
How will she find the other wolves?
How will they be connected?
Please do not make this into one of those "i found another of my species its so amazing but i overexaggerate the emotions" thing. | |
| | | | Rufistar
Veteran Fantagian
Posts : 3155
Join date : 2012-06-14
| | Subject: Re: Spirit of the Forest Tue Sep 11, 2012 8:43 pm | |
| Not as good as the other entries, but oh well. Even Cefie's is better (even though I only read like two paragraphs). Cefie just please proofread I need a fresh eye. - Open:
 1) Unique Names for all 4 Store Pets: Danari
Valerie
Woodwing
Gebnar2) Are they Good or Evil?: I guess good, because the monster they are fighting is more evil. But they're really just ram-wolves having an adventure.3) Your Story:Chapter 1: Heavy, green, and furryIt was a dark and stormy night.
Danari stood on the cliff, alone, looking at the moon. She did not know why she was outside in such a storm. All the other creatures of the forest were in their shelter, either burrows, caves, or under a leafy tree. But Danari was not like the other creatures of the forest. For one, she had a ram's horns and hind legs, but a dog's face and body. And wings. The only other creatures she knew that had wings were birds and bats. Danari seemed one-of-a-kind.
So she stood there. It made a strange silhouette, a ram-wolf in the light of the moon. Lightning flashed. A moment later thunder rumbled. It was really starting to rain now. Danari took one last glance at the moon, turned around, and flew into the forest.
Danari, although she was an unusual ram-wolf, had a normal life. Hunt, eat, sleep. Just like the other creatures.
Danari decided to hunt, because the trees usually blocked the rain. And she was a little hungry anyway. For this night's hunt, Danari went beyond the place she usually hunted. Just for more variety…
She was looking for something small for a snack. Preferably a rabbit. She sniffed the air, but did not catch the scent of rabbit. Instead she caught a squirrel's scent. Will have to do. Danari thought as her stomach growled.
And there was the blurry streak right there in the open. Danari started chasing it. The squirrel soon ran up a tree like it always does, thinking it outwitted its chaser. Huh, we'll see about that. But before Danari could fly up to the tree, something heavy and probably green (it was hard to see color at night) crashed down. Something furry.
Must be some sort of tree wolf… Huh. "So who're you?" Danari asked the strange tree creature.
"Oof. That was higher than it looked." Said the tree creature as it sat up and rubbed its head. "Oh. My name's Gebnar."
"So, Gebnar, if you have wings why didn't you just save yourself and fly?" asked Danari.
"Well, it's hard to take off and fly when you just suddenly fall off a tree like that. You should know that since you've got wings, too."
"Well, I've nev-" wait a minute! He has wings… and ram's horns too! He's just like me! Danari's mouth hung open.
"What, you've never seen another ram-wolf before?" asked Gebnar. "They're all over this place."
"What? No, I thought I was one-of-a-kind!"
Gebnar laughed, but in a more friendly way. "Just like in all those stories. Want to meet some of my friends?"
Danari turned red with embarrassment. "Ram-wolves, too?"
"Yep. But they're kind of far away, so we can go in the morning. I'll sleep in this tree, like I always do, heck that's why I even fell out, and you can sleep under so I won't have to look for you."
"Okay, then."
And so Gebnar flew into his tree and Danari curled up under it.Chapter 2: Woodwing and Valerie"Hey, lazybones, wake up!" Gebnar was out of his tree, on his feet, right in front of the sleeping Danari.
"Uh…" Danari forced open her eyes and sat up. "Ready."
"Let's go then. Follow me!" Gebnar started making his way to the mountains.
Soon Danari and Gebnar were standing at a mouth of a cave. "Woodwing! Valerie! It's me!" Gebnar called out into the cave.
"Gebnar! It really is you!" a black ram-wolf walked out of the cave and nudged Gebnar gently. Gebnar blushed. "Yep, haven't seen you in a while, Woodwing." replied Gebnar.
"And who are you?" asked Woodwing politely to Danari. Danari replied "My name is Danari. I just kind of met Gebnar while I was out hunting. He took me to see you, as I have never seen any other ram-wolves before."
"You haven't? Oh well, now you have! Come on, we can be great friends! You're a loner aren't you?"
"Well, I suppose I am."
Gebnar decided to leave Danari and Woodwing to their conversation, and find Valerie. He looked where the two ram-wolves usually slept and ate. Gebnar found a fresh deer which Woodwing and Danari have probably been eating before he and Danari turned up. But he did not find Valerie. Gebnar didn't want to search the large cave for fear of getting lost in the complicated tunnels. "Valerie! Valerie, where are you? It's Gebnar!"
Five minutes had passed and Valerie still didn't come. Gebnar raced to the mouth of the cave to Woodwing. "Where's Valerie? She's nowhere to be found!"
Woodwing groaned. "That's what that noise was. I knew we had to move out, but it's such a fine cave. It's the dragon!" Woodwing put her face in her paws. Chapter 3: Rawr"Whoa, whoa, whoa, what dragon?" asked Danari.
"T-the dragon. He lives in the farthest ends of the cave, but we've been living here longer. Don't ask me how he got there, must have been when we were out. And now he's got Valerie!" Woodwing wailed.
"Don't worry, Woodwing." said Gebnar straightening up. "We'll find the dragon and rescue Valerie!"
A roar came from deep within the cave. "The dragon!" gasped Danari.
"Come, on, let's go rescue Valerie!" Gebnar said. "Woodwing can lead us since she knows the cave better than any of us."
A little reluctantly, the ram-wolves went into the cave to search for the dragon, following its roaring. Dragon's LairARRRWWWRR! "Stop!" hissed Woodwing. "Its lair is right around the corner."
Snarling followed the roar. "It's Valerie!" whispered Gebnar. "She's safe- for now. Probably too quick and clever for that brute."
"We need a plan." said Danari "How about one of us distracts the dragon so it doesn't pay attention to Valerie? Then we get Valerie and all of us run for the mouth of the cave and hide somewhere outside?"
"Good plan." replied Woodwing. "That dragon won't be so fast in the cave, I bet it can barely fit inside these tunnels."
Gebnar stepped up. "Okay the, I'll go distract him. On three. One, two, three!!"
The three ram-wolves ran around the corner, with Gebnar saying "Heya, dragon! So you like ram-wolves, eh? Maybe inviting us over for tea would be nice?" loudly enough for the dragon to turn away from Valerie to him.
The dragon was viscous-looking beast. It was all black with a yellow belly and yellow eyes that stared intensely at you. And enormous wings.
As the dragon turned, Danari could see a pink and black ram-wolf in the corner, shuddering with fright. She and Woodwing rushed over to her. "Valerie!" Woodwing whispered. "It's us. No time to explain- gotta get out!" The three of them quickly, but quietly, padded over to the tunnels from where they came from.
Woodwing caught Gebnar's glance and nodded. Suddenly, and to the dragon's surprise, they shot out into the tunnels in a blur of wolf fur.Chapter 5: Wolf and BirdThe dragon gave a roar of fury and started running after them. But the ram-wolves were faster. They ran out of the cave and wildly looked around them.
"There's gotta be something!" Valerie said, looking at a small cave not far away. "Look, another cave. But it's tiny so the dragon won't fit."
The ram-wolves ran hurried up to the cave and one-by-one, squeezed inside. They sat down on the stony cave floor, panting.
"Shhh. The beast didn't give up yet." said a strange voice behind them. Before Danari could ask who it was, a blue furry paw clamped over her mouth. "Quiet!" the voice hissed. Now that it had gotten closer, the ram-wolves could see that it was a regular wolf. With blue fur, white markings… and goggles on its head?
Then came another roar of fury from the dragon for losing its prey. The wolves could hear the sound of dragon pawsteps as the monster turned and walked back inside Woodwing's and Valerie's cave. "Now we need a new home." Woodwing sighed. Then remembering the blue wolf, she asked "And who are you? Are you an en- what is that thing?!" A gray feathery thing flew up to Woodwing's paws.
"Oh, that's Totoro. He's a bird. A cockatiel to be exact. And I'm Avian. Pleased to meet ya." Avian shook paws with Woodwing. "So now you tell me the names."
"Sure." replied Woodwing. "I'm Woodwing, that's Danari, Woodwing, and Valerie."
"I reckon you won't be safe in that cave. Want to sleep in my den for now? I live with some friends, too." said Avian.
Even though it wasn't her cave that was invaded by a dragon, it was Danari's turn to reply. "Of course we would!"
The past two days were the best adventure of her life. Meeting other ram-wolves, rescuing someone from a dragon, making friends… who knew what would be in store for her now?
It was all very different, and much more unlonely, then her old life. Danari was finally as happy as a ram-wolf could be.
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| | | | Anarchy
Junior Fantagian
Posts : 62
Join date : 2012-09-01
Age : 23
Location : black gold saw's place
| | Subject: Re: Spirit of the Forest Tue Sep 11, 2012 10:56 pm | |
| Make more! Best story I've read in a long time | |
| | | | Cefie
Dedicated Fantagian
Posts : 1305
Join date : 2012-06-12
Age : 25
Location : Oh no! I've gone missing. Can you find me?
| | Subject: Re: Spirit of the Forest Tue Sep 11, 2012 11:05 pm | |
| -has proofread first part-
Psh. Is my story that long?
I've got a competitor for long..
Even though it's already entered, as a mid. school kid's rating out of 100
87/100
B+
Pretty good, considering with the time cinch you had. | |
| | | | Rufistar
Veteran Fantagian
Posts : 3155
Join date : 2012-06-14
| | Subject: Re: Spirit of the Forest Tue Sep 11, 2012 11:20 pm | |
| If it was summer I think I would've made it longer. But with homework and stuff... I want to kill you decimals.
Does it need more details or more story?
Maybe I'll make more for other pets. I don't know. | |
| | | | Cefie
Dedicated Fantagian
Posts : 1305
Join date : 2012-06-12
Age : 25
Location : Oh no! I've gone missing. Can you find me?
| | Subject: Re: Spirit of the Forest Tue Sep 11, 2012 11:46 pm | |
| Le both
First paragraph was really good, tad bit more detail would have made it drearingly long like some intersting books are
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