| | ~Sharp the Fantagian~ #2 |  |
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+12chrysanthemum7 pokeranger CakeBossLover jordanvarela5 Lyli Bluerivers1 v S Oliver Jake12 Lorena Sharpsul99 16 posters |
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| What do you think will happen during the journey? [Multiple Choice] | | Sharp will fight the 7 Legends. | | 23% | [ 5 ] | | Sharp will be killed. | | 36% | [ 8 ] | | Chuko and Ma will be killed. | | 9% | [ 2 ] | | The Dark Village will be destroyed. | | 14% | [ 3 ] | | Someone captures Sharp. | | 18% | [ 4 ] |
| | Total Votes : 22 | | | |
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| Author | Message |
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Sharpsul99
Passionate Fantagian
Posts : 755
Join date : 2010-06-10
Location : Dark Village
| Subject: Re: ~Sharp the Fantagian~ #2  Wed Jun 23, 2010 8:05 pm | |
| I'll be writing some new chapters momentarily! | |
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Oliver
Moderator
Posts : 4588
Join date : 2010-03-03
Age : 24
Location : *lights up a fire* yeah, trying to surivve in a fores.t *smokse a cig* il kill you
| | Subject: Re: ~Sharp the Fantagian~ #2 Sat Jul 03, 2010 1:46 pm | |
| Dude, I cant wait for more.
This story is sorta breath taking, and enjoyable. | |
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Sharpsul99
Passionate Fantagian
Posts : 755
Join date : 2010-06-10
Location : Dark Village
| | Subject: Re: ~Sharp the Fantagian~ #2 Wed Aug 04, 2010 8:28 pm | |
| Hey guys. I know this story`s been inactive but I promise to write more chapters in a few days.
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chrysanthemum7
Regular Fantagian
Posts : 230
Join date : 2010-03-28
Age : 23
Location : Yur closet<3
| | Subject: Re: ~Sharp the Fantagian~ #2 Wed Aug 04, 2010 9:06 pm | |
| Cool story! Can't wait to see more. | |
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Super canada22
New Fantagian
Posts : 22
Join date : 2010-05-08
Location : Under the ocean.
| | Subject: Re: ~Sharp the Fantagian~ #2 Fri Aug 20, 2010 9:09 pm | |
| sharp can i be in the next chapter if u say no thts ok but i was just wondering | |
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S
Dedicated Fantagian
Posts : 1417
Join date : 2010-02-06
Age : 19
Location : sad town
| | Subject: Re: ~Sharp the Fantagian~ #2 Sat Sep 18, 2010 3:36 pm | |
| How interesting, making my character western after I repeatedly said she was brittish. Really sharp since your trying o'so hard to get back at me, at least do it fashionably. | |
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McKenna
Former Staff
Posts : 3165
Join date : 2010-01-27
| | Subject: Re: ~Sharp the Fantagian~ #2 Sat Sep 18, 2010 3:40 pm | |
| haha im a princess <3
when is the next chapter(s) gonna be out? | |
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Makkine
Moderator
Posts : 2772
Join date : 2010-05-17
Age : 26
Location : Woah
| | Subject: Re: ~Sharp the Fantagian~ #2 Sat Sep 18, 2010 3:40 pm | |
| What's with the random jump between eppy cowboy girl and tearful flat character with generic backstory? Seriously Sharp, major case of random mood swing. My head still hurts. | |
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Sharpsul99
Passionate Fantagian
Posts : 755
Join date : 2010-06-10
Location : Dark Village
| | Subject: Re: ~Sharp the Fantagian~ #2 Sat Sep 18, 2010 7:19 pm | |
| Byakuya: I'm not? You told me she was Brittish a long time go, I don't remeber
JB: What?
Straw: Possibly tomorrow. | |
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Makkine
Moderator
Posts : 2772
Join date : 2010-05-17
Age : 26
Location : Woah
| | Subject: Re: ~Sharp the Fantagian~ #2 Sun Sep 19, 2010 8:23 pm | |
| tl;dr: THE COWBOY WAS HAPPY THEN SHE WAS EMO. YOU DO NOT DO THAT IN STORIES. | |
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Sharpsul99
Passionate Fantagian
Posts : 755
Join date : 2010-06-10
Location : Dark Village
| | Subject: Re: ~Sharp the Fantagian~ #2 Sun Sep 19, 2010 8:52 pm | |
| - IluvJB36 wrote:
- tl;dr: THE COWBOY WAS HAPPY THEN SHE WAS EMO. YOU DO NOT DO THAT IN STORIES.
What is this, more trolling? | |
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Makkine
Moderator
Posts : 2772
Join date : 2010-05-17
Age : 26
Location : Woah
| | Subject: Re: ~Sharp the Fantagian~ #2 Sun Sep 19, 2010 9:06 pm | |
| You see? This is why I don't like giving you constructive criticism. You always take it the wrong way. You dent understand my old post, so I had to "dumb it down" so to speak. | |
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Nakira
Dedicated Fantagian
Posts : 1137
Join date : 2010-07-12
Age : 27
Location : the groan zone
| | Subject: Re: ~Sharp the Fantagian~ #2 Sun Sep 19, 2010 9:12 pm | |
| What JB means is that at first the girl was all happy (but for some reason a cowgirl when she's supposed to be British) and then she suddenly gets all sad and tells Sharp (who I don't think she knows very well) this uber-sad backstory. It's a tad unrealistic, in my opinion. | |
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Sharpsul99
Passionate Fantagian
Posts : 755
Join date : 2010-06-10
Location : Dark Village
| | Subject: Re: ~Sharp the Fantagian~ #2 Sun Sep 19, 2010 9:22 pm | |
| I don't see the major error in that.. | |
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S
Dedicated Fantagian
Posts : 1417
Join date : 2010-02-06
Age : 19
Location : sad town
| | Subject: Re: ~Sharp the Fantagian~ #2 Sun Sep 19, 2010 9:38 pm | |
| Sharp here's the error:
1. does anyone besides emotional teens go from being obsessively happy, to telling some complete stranger their life's story. The answer to that is NO. Thats why its so unrealistic. | |
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Makkine
Moderator
Posts : 2772
Join date : 2010-05-17
Age : 26
Location : Woah
| | Subject: Re: ~Sharp the Fantagian~ #2 Sun Sep 19, 2010 9:39 pm | |
| - Sharpsul99 wrote:
- I don't see the major error in that..
First off, the backstory felt a little trite (cliche, overused). Second, a character is supposed to stay in character. Third, if you have set the mood for a chapter(s), don't break the mood. It makes for bad writing, unless you use it to makE the second event more jarring, which is very difficult. The only time I've seen someone succeed at that is the "tales of Ba Sing Se," in avatar. Also, your stoy is a little similar to the Naruto manga. | |
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