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| | Rate the Role-playing above you! (FUN P-GAME.) |  |
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flower
Hero Fantagian
Posts : 7482
Join date : 2012-12-20
Age : 23
| Subject: Rate the Role-playing above you! (FUN P-GAME.)  Mon Jul 01, 2013 12:40 pm | |
| In this posting game, someone posts a paragraph ( or more) of an example of their role-playing. It doesn't have to be from a real role-play, it can be made up on the spot. So, you rate them out of 10, and give them tips/pointers. I'll start!
No one above me.
I watch as Jesse strokes her long, strawberry-blonde hair, careful not too tug too hard. She picks up her diamond-embroided hair-brush, and carefully begins to brush it. Soon, her hair is knot-free and smooth, glimmering in the light of the chandelier hanging above our heads. She gently places the hair- brush down onto her vanity, and turns around to face me, stroking her hair through her filed-finger-nails. " Maggie, would you like me to do your hair?" She asked in her soft, smooth tone. I'm quite shocked by this, and I slowly lift my hand up to touch my hair. Does it really look that bad? " S-sure." I sputter, slowly walking towards Jesse. She stands up, gesturing me to sit into the small, uncomfortable plush seat. I sit, and stare into the mirror, and watch as Jesse carefully pulls my hair elastic out and begins brushing my hair with her diamond-emroided brush. " You're hair is such a radiant brown!" She gleams, tugging harder. " It'll look beautiful once I'm done!
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| | | | alex
Moderator
Posts : 23507
Join date : 2010-08-10
Age : 25
Location : google maps
| | Subject: Re: Rate the Role-playing above you! (FUN P-GAME.) Mon Jul 01, 2013 12:42 pm | |
| WOW THIS IS A REALLY GOOD GAME ACTUALLY??? IT REQUIRES PEOPLE TO ACTUALLY THINK 10/10 WOULD RECOMMEND 7/10 -casually copies and pastes- - Spoiler:
Ping. His cell phone went off and he turned and checked it. The screen glowed softly and at the top it read 'New message: Nadia.' He couldn't help but blush a little bit. I didn't expect an answer. But what if she says something like, "why are you talking to me," or, "who are you?" Gosh, I'm so nervous to read it. It won't kill me or anything, will it?
Reluctantly, he opened the message and read it quickly. His face went firetruck red. I hope it's so dim in here that no one will be able to see me right now, thought Aaron. Once again, he went through quite a few drafts in hiss head before writing anything down. I don't want to look like an idiot! After a couple moments of playing with his thumbs, he typing something in slowly, being careful not to make any typos or anything. As a result, it read, 'Cool. I'm not really up to anything right now. Just watching tv, I guess. :p'
He sent the message, and walked over to the kitchen. His parents were out on a business trip, so he was all alone for the next couple day. Aaron opened the fridge and took out some leftovers from yesterday night. Who cares if I'm not eating a proper 'breakfast food?' It's not the end of the world!
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| | | | flower
Hero Fantagian
Posts : 7482
Join date : 2012-12-20
Age : 23
| | Subject: Re: Rate the Role-playing above you! (FUN P-GAME.) Mon Jul 01, 2013 12:48 pm | |
| 9/10, It's really good, but the first couple of sentences confused me with all the italics.
September looks around the dim-filled room with caution, careful not to make too much noise. " H-hello?" She slightly calls out, her voice stuttering in the process. " W-whos there?" September's mind begins to fill with fear, the worst scenarios flying through her head. " NO! NO! MAKE IT STOP!" She screams, closes her eyes closed tight, as she grabs her head and digs her nails into her messy., black hair. " MAKE IT GO AWAY!" She screams, as salty tears begin to fall down her pale cheeks. " Mia, where are you? Amy? Abby?" Anyone.." She begins feeling light headed, and soon she falls into the hard, marble floors, unconscious. However, the moment before her eye lids closed over her green eyes, she heard a soft, revenge filled voice. " I am." | |
| | | | aimi
Veteran Fantagian
Posts : 4743
Join date : 2012-09-02
Age : 23
Location : pledis ent. building
| | Subject: Re: Rate the Role-playing above you! (FUN P-GAME.) Mon Jul 01, 2013 2:24 pm | |
| 9/10 Really good but everything came just a bit too fast.
Amber watched as the radiant, red sun fell beyond the horizon. Her family was camping on a mountain and Amber and her brother, Illinois, had climbed to the peak, called Sun Peak since it was the best view for sunrises and sunsets. Just then, a gust of wind blew some rocks down the mountain, then some trees, and then finally, a huge slab of rock Amber and Illinois had been standing on. The rock was tumbling down the hill and a very fast speed and Amber screamed at the top of her lungs. "ILLINOIS? YOU THERE?" she screeched. Illinois made a loud grunt to signal that he was right next to her and the two closed their eyes as rocks and debris hit them. The slab of rock gained speed and when it was near the middle of the mountain, it hit a large boulder. The siblings flew from the rock and landed in a field of marigolds, both bruised and shaken up. "Where are we?" Amber whispered. | |
| | | | Kirimina
New Fantagian
Posts : 11
Join date : 2013-07-05
Age : 25
| | Subject: Re: Rate the Role-playing above you! (FUN P-GAME.) Mon Jul 08, 2013 4:13 pm | |
| 9.5/10. Just. amazed.
Color sighed softly as she brushed a bright red streak on her canvas. " I wonder if this shade of red matches the rainbow I saw earlier with Meru-chan. " she mumbles to herself as she begins to make an arch that contained orange,yellow, green, and a light shade of blue. To her, art was her life, happiness, and everything she needed in her life. Nothing would make her more happy than to smear paint, oil pastels, and mix colors all day long. That is, until one day she heard a small creek from her room window...
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| | | | MsJoyMaeda
Hero Fantagian
Posts : 5830
Join date : 2010-12-13
Age : 24
| | Subject: Re: Rate the Role-playing above you! (FUN P-GAME.) Mon Jul 08, 2013 4:48 pm | |
| 9/10 It's good but a little short in my opinion. - Spoiler:
"She's waking up!"
Emi moans as she rubs her tired, bloodshot eyes. She almost let out a gasp as she took in her surroundings. She was at a dump. No, it's not a shabby house- she was literally at a dump. All of this trash was piled all around her. "Good! You're awake!", came a voice. Emi shot her head around. She noticed a short boy, probably around her age. He had this toothy grin that made her cringe. "I saw you pass out nearby, so I thought I could bring you here!", the boy said. "Can you stand up?" Emi couldn't refuse the offer. Besides, her legs were aching and it would be a good idea to give them a stretch. As she stood up, her left leg was hurting a lot more than when she was sitting down. She looked down, and let out a scream. Her leg had all of these severe scratches. "Oh, don't worry about those. Those are from the scraping metal.", the boy said.
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