Lyli Dedicated Fantagian
Posts : 1149 Join date : 2010-01-30 Location : Peegale 5ever (that mean more than 4eva)
| Subject: A possible story that I wrote :3 Sat Feb 12, 2011 6:35 pm | |
| A possible story. Yup. Oh, and I have no name for it yet xD - Spoiler:
It was chilly night, even if it was the summer, and the trees shook from the brutal wind. A thunderstorm is coming, I thought. I sat up in bed, awoken by the wind, and the sound of a window opening and closing. I squinted to see what was going outside. Maybe Gabriel was going outside; but what was he doing outside when it was so windy, it could blow him right off his railing? I’ll just tell him to go inside. Even I could get the most stubborn person on the planet to do what I want them to do. I was that good.
I placed my knit tie-in-the-front cardigan around me, slipped on my brown chestnut Uggs, and put my glasses on. When I pushed my window up the wind came rushing in; invading the warm air in my room. Gabriel probably heard me, because my leg got caught in the window, and I landed face-first on my balcony. Instead of laughing, or even trying to help me, he didn’t look up. Or crack a smile. “What’s wrong with you?” I asked, with an attitude. Usually that made him pay attention to me; but not this time. “You must be really down,” I said, concerned. And I was. He finally lifted his head, and sat on the railing. “Why should you care?” he paused to stare at the moon. “You know what,” he faced me. “Why should anyone care?”
I was startled by his sudden outburst. I wanted to say, I care because you are my best friend. I care because you’re like my brother. I care because…His loud cough interrupted my thoughts. I opened my mouth, but instead I sat on my balcony railing. “Just tell me everything, no one can hear us.” He looked up to stare at me. His eyes cut right through me. Something was definitely wrong. I had no idea what it was.
But, for some odd reason I thought of the sirens I heard minutes before I heard Gabriel opening his window.
Last edited by Lyli on Sun Feb 13, 2011 10:00 am; edited 1 time in total | |
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Makkine Moderator
Posts : 2772 Join date : 2010-05-17 Age : 26 Location : Woah
| Subject: Re: A possible story that I wrote :3 Sat Feb 12, 2011 6:48 pm | |
| Woah, this is an awesome story! Very suspenseful! | |
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sahilin Senior Fantagian
Posts : 356 Join date : 2010-11-01 Location : Good Question.
| Subject: Re: A possible story that I wrote :3 Sat Feb 12, 2011 8:40 pm | |
| Wow this makes wonder what will happen next! Please go on with your story! =] | |
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nymphie Passionate Fantagian
Posts : 769 Join date : 2010-09-11 Age : 24 Location : Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry
| Subject: Re: A possible story that I wrote :3 Sat Feb 12, 2011 11:52 pm | |
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bladerunner22 Devoted Fantagian
Posts : 530 Join date : 2010-11-27 Age : 24 Location : Asia
| Subject: Re: A possible story that I wrote :3 Sun Feb 13, 2011 1:13 am | |
| Wow, this is pretty good. ^^ | |
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Lyli Dedicated Fantagian
Posts : 1149 Join date : 2010-01-30 Location : Peegale 5ever (that mean more than 4eva)
| Subject: Re: A possible story that I wrote :3 Sun Feb 13, 2011 8:00 am | |
| Thanks...and I just realized there was a typo. Smh. | |
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MsJoyMaeda Hero Fantagian
Posts : 5830 Join date : 2010-12-13 Age : 24
| Subject: Re: A possible story that I wrote :3 Sun Feb 13, 2011 9:57 am | |
| Very nice job! Continue it! I wanna see more! | |
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Relora Hero Fantagian
Posts : 6776 Join date : 2010-11-30 Age : 26 Location : Define "Location"
| Subject: Re: A possible story that I wrote :3 Sun Feb 13, 2011 11:19 am | |
| Very nice but (this is only my opinion don't have to listen to me at all)The first paragraph seemed somewhat choppy and repetitive with some words that's just what i think. | |
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