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 Silent Roses (Chapter one is out)

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S
Dedicated Fantagian
S

Posts : 1417
Join date : 2010-02-06
Age : 15
Location : sad town

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PostSubject: Silent Roses (Chapter one is out)   Silent Roses (Chapter one is out) EmptyMon May 09, 2011 6:23 pm

IIIIIII WILLLLLLLLLLLLLLL SLDKJFLSKJDFing FINISH THIS STORY!!1!1!1

Now, I suppose, I should write with grammar. "Sigh,"

-Prologue-
The night sky was a deep blue, its darkness washed over everything, except for the gentle break of stars. The stars were splattered in an incoherent pattern, they twisted and turned, seeming to dance in living motions.

Winged creatures, with alien and unnatural bodies, ran and leapt through strange fields. They were all traveling to one destination, it was atop a hill, through a forest, and over a golden stream. Once that place was found, a most odd sight would greet you. There perched, in that odd spot, was a creature seeming to be a monster, but it released a feeling of love, a gentle feeling that warmed even the most beastly of hearts. It was a shining Lion, but it had the body of a great and large spider, the wings of the largest bird ever to be seen, and a lizard's tail.

It looked up, with its eyes full of respect, to the strangest sight of all. There, upon that strange creature was a thing, with a human body. Its limbs were unnaturally long, and it was much more beautiful than any human that would be found on Earth. The skin was a silver, that shined, and reflected the moon's light. It's face had two, large, glowing orb-like eyes. Large red, wavy curls tumbled in a stream from it's scalp.

It sat there, in silence, waiting for all the creatures to assemble. It, now discovered as a She, leapt down from the strange lion-spider beast, in a single, fluid movement. She took a few paces forward, and stood there, her calmness, suddenly turning into an alarming urgency. She raised her arms, and all the creatures started to run, panicked. The animals faded into nothingness, and even her spider beast evaporated, with a look of despair on it's face. The land, strange, but oddly with beauty, then too evaporated and faded into nothingness, until at last she stood alone. She took a quick look, letting only one golden tear fall, before she too, faded.
---
Chapter 1

Spoiler:
 

I don't like chapter one, I may need to rewrite it, I'll see what Makky has to say.


Last edited by S on Wed May 25, 2011 10:52 am; edited 6 times in total
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Makkine
Moderator
Moderator
Makkine

Posts : 2772
Join date : 2010-05-17
Age : 23
Location : Woah

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PostSubject: Re: Silent Roses (Chapter one is out)   Silent Roses (Chapter one is out) EmptyMon May 09, 2011 6:30 pm

Yay! You're writing again! You're really talented, but I shall critique you via PM anyway.
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FrEeWiErD
Senior Fantagian
FrEeWiErD

Posts : 251
Join date : 2011-03-29
Age : 20
Location : With Bob

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PostSubject: Re: Silent Roses (Chapter one is out)   Silent Roses (Chapter one is out) EmptyMon May 09, 2011 9:39 pm

wow S ur a great wrighter
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Relora
Hero Fantagian


Posts : 6776
Join date : 2010-11-30
Age : 23
Location : Define "Location"

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PostSubject: Re: Silent Roses (Chapter one is out)   Silent Roses (Chapter one is out) EmptyTue May 10, 2011 3:32 pm

nice job and its Writer not wrighter
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Rock N Roll
Junior Fantagian
Rock N Roll

Posts : 71
Join date : 2011-05-09
Age : 21
Location : What the....? STALKER! Why do ya wanna know!?

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PostSubject: Re: Silent Roses (Chapter one is out)   Silent Roses (Chapter one is out) EmptyTue May 10, 2011 3:36 pm

OMG your soooo talented! Cool
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ii77ll
Regular Fantagian
ii77ll

Posts : 102
Join date : 2010-06-22
Age : 22
Location : somewhere on earth

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PostSubject: Re: Silent Roses (Chapter one is out)   Silent Roses (Chapter one is out) EmptySat May 14, 2011 10:53 am

that's really good! I like it alot
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Pommu-pon
Loyal Fantagian
Pommu-pon

Posts : 1597
Join date : 2011-05-09
Age : 22
Location : wwwwww

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PostSubject: Re: Silent Roses (Chapter one is out)   Silent Roses (Chapter one is out) EmptySat May 14, 2011 11:13 am

Wow, that's really nice. You're talented (=
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S
Dedicated Fantagian
S

Posts : 1417
Join date : 2010-02-06
Age : 15
Location : sad town

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PostSubject: Re: Silent Roses (Chapter one is out)   Silent Roses (Chapter one is out) EmptyMon May 23, 2011 6:47 pm

Posted Chapter one, not proud of it, may need to rewrite it, or parts of it.
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no
Passionate Fantagian


Posts : 873
Join date : 2010-09-16
Age : 22
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PostSubject: Re: Silent Roses (Chapter one is out)   Silent Roses (Chapter one is out) EmptyMon May 23, 2011 6:59 pm

O.O I wish I had enough creativity to come up with original stories.
I'm currently writing fanfictions. Along with one original story. (Not very original since it's a rewritten class project.)
Anyway, you're very talented and I can't wait to read more. (:
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hoangmy
New Fantagian
hoangmy

Posts : 7
Join date : 2011-05-30
Age : 20
Location : California

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PostSubject: Re: Silent Roses (Chapter one is out)   Silent Roses (Chapter one is out) EmptyMon May 30, 2011 12:32 am

weird but i do know how to draw!!!!
i have really bad grammer
and spelling
(SEE I SOELLED SOMETHING WRONG!)
(AND AGAIN) lol! scratch
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mayanm
Expert Fantagian


Posts : 2088
Join date : 2011-05-14
Age : 21
Location : Noitacol. It's a location all right!

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PostSubject: Re: Silent Roses (Chapter one is out)   Silent Roses (Chapter one is out) EmptyMon May 30, 2011 2:00 am

I loved the way you described the scene! Keep writing more. I'll prrobably get some tips! Wink
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Karen
Former Staff
Former Staff
Karen

Posts : 1530
Join date : 2010-01-29
Age : 21
Location : unicorns

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PostSubject: Re: Silent Roses (Chapter one is out)   Silent Roses (Chapter one is out) EmptyMon May 30, 2011 12:47 pm

I loovve it.
--
Except that I didn't really understand what happened at the end of Chapter one.
it's like; OIOIOI LETS ESCAPE FROM THAT DOOD WHOS BEIN LIEK MEANIE BEANIE TO YOU.
(i know it doesnt say that but xD)
...Yeah, cause... well... idk.

.
kthxbai
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~Kitty~x3
Regular Fantagian
~Kitty~x3

Posts : 213
Join date : 2011-07-08
Age : 20
Location : cookies. C:

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PostSubject: Re: Silent Roses (Chapter one is out)   Silent Roses (Chapter one is out) EmptyFri Jul 08, 2011 5:25 pm

OMG your really talent i draw anime and write stories but not a good story like that! o3o

[flash]Silent Roses (Chapter one is out) WSilent Roses (Chapter one is out) ASilent Roses (Chapter one is out) FSilent Roses (Chapter one is out) FSilent Roses (Chapter one is out) LSilent Roses (Chapter one is out) ESilent Roses (Chapter one is out) ZSilent Roses (Chapter one is out) EmptySilent Roses (Chapter one is out) XSilent Roses (Chapter one is out) D[/flash]
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~Kitty~x3
Regular Fantagian
~Kitty~x3

Posts : 213
Join date : 2011-07-08
Age : 20
Location : cookies. C:

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PostSubject: Re: Silent Roses (Chapter one is out)   Silent Roses (Chapter one is out) EmptyFri Jul 08, 2011 5:28 pm

Ugh fail i put talent i meant talent.. Razz Epic fail for mehh!

[flash]Silent Roses (Chapter one is out) WSilent Roses (Chapter one is out) ASilent Roses (Chapter one is out) FSilent Roses (Chapter one is out) FSilent Roses (Chapter one is out) LSilent Roses (Chapter one is out) ESilent Roses (Chapter one is out) ZSilent Roses (Chapter one is out) EmptySilent Roses (Chapter one is out) XSilent Roses (Chapter one is out) D[/flash]
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Blackrose
Hero Fantagian
Blackrose

Posts : 7338
Join date : 2010-07-20

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PostSubject: Re: Silent Roses (Chapter one is out)   Silent Roses (Chapter one is out) EmptyFri Jul 08, 2011 6:14 pm

i love it..... pretty nice... too bad S, ur banned on the forum
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Relora
Hero Fantagian


Posts : 6776
Join date : 2010-11-30
Age : 23
Location : Define "Location"

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PostSubject: Re: Silent Roses (Chapter one is out)   Silent Roses (Chapter one is out) EmptyFri Jul 08, 2011 10:03 pm

Very good ^^
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PostSubject: Re: Silent Roses (Chapter one is out)   Silent Roses (Chapter one is out) Empty

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