| Charm Juice★ | |
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+5Relora Queen FruitCake Janelle Crownie 9 posters |
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Crownie Dedicated Fantagian
Posts : 1010 Join date : 2011-09-11 Age : 28 Location : In the center of the sun.
| Subject: Charm Juice★ Sat Sep 24, 2011 9:10 pm | |
| Here's a preview of my new story called Charm Juice. The chapters are kind of long sooo.. I'm only putting up like a preview of chapter one on here (; - Chapter1- "Taste of Happiness" - PREVIEW:
Moving back to your hometown where all your precious childhood memories and friends are should be a good, happy, and joyful decision, am I right? Partly right, unless that hometown had completely changed or you’ve lost all your memories of it. That’s what I was told. The reason why my family and I left was because of an accident that wiped my memories of that town. Now I know no one and nothing except the fact that I have lived here before.
“Lynn, hurry, you’re going to be late for your first day of school.” Mother yelled from downstairs.
“Yes, yes, I’m coming!”
I hurriedly put on my socks and sprinted down the stairs. I stopped by the door and slipped my feet into my shoes, one foot after the other. Then pulled the back of my right shoe to make sure it was tight. I then tapped my foot, toes to the ground, making it fit.
“I’m leaving.” I opened the door and ran out.
“Have a nice trip.” Mother waved by the door as I looked back.
As I took a little jog to school, I looked around at the houses, the stores, and the people. I tried to reminisce my long lost memories, but nothing came back. I felt sort of empty knowing a piece of my past was lost. By the time I felt tired from jogging I had noticed I was lost. I found myself at a peaceful empty beach, which was beautiful. The sun gave the tip of the ocean a little sparkle to the waves which rode along with the slight breeze. I smelled the salt water and listened to the waves roaring and crashing in the silence.
“Wow, how pretty. I wonder if I’ve ever been here when I was a child…” I thought aloud to myself and walked along the sidewalk near the beginning of the sands.
I stretched my arms and relaxed with the cool breeze. I absolutely loved the trees near the beach; they looked beautiful when they danced with the wind. I then looked down next to a tree and saw someone, or something there. Who was that? What was that? Were they or was it okay? I trotted toward the tree, but then stopped myself. I thought to myself, I should just walk by and act cool about it.
So I walked by and took a quick peek. It was a boy with the same uniform on, sleeping under the tree. Once I saw him in his uniform I suddenly remembered.
“Ah! I got to get to school!” I remembered out loud.
I started to jog my way back but then was worried about the boy sleeping. He’s going to be late as well if he kept sleeping. I ran back to him and stared at him thinking of a way to wake him up. I saw his watch on his wrist; it was almost time for school to start. I then shook the boy until he opened his eyes.
“Nnnnuhg,” He grunted, “Who are you? Why’d you disturb my nap?” He said with a harsh piercing voice and a dirty glare. He then put on his glasses and took a look at his watch. “Whoa, I’ve got to get to school!”
He got up and grabbed his bag and started running the trail of the sidewalk. I ran after him beginning to remember that I didn’t know where the school was…
“Ah, wait.” I stopped to catch my breath.
“What now? You’re annoying.” He turned back to me.
What?! How could he say that? He doesn’t know me, and has only seen my face for a few seconds. I even woke him up not wanting him to be late for his class and he dare calls me annoying? I couldn’t yell at him since I needed a guide to the school. The fact that he had an ugly personality didn’t change though.
“Um, I don’t know where the school is.” I said in a low quiet voice trying not to sound annoying.
“Wow, hmmm, you’re annoying and an idiot, huh?” he turned and started walking away.
“Hey! I’m not an idiot, okay! You don’t know anything–”
“Just follow me.” He laughed.
I made a fit face and followed his steps. We got to the subway station and I knew we were already late. I sighed and stared at the clock in disappointment in myself. Never being late for school, or being bad, or even getting a bad grade was my regular school life. But now… I buried my face into my hands.
“They subway’s coming in five minutes.” He notified me.
I looked up and saw him offer me a juice box. I hesitated to accept it because of his ugly first impression. He seemed like someone who wouldn’t care for someone he doesn’t know, so I just stared at it without saying a word.
“What? Take it.” He shoved the juice closer to my face then threw it to my lap.
“Uh, thank you.” I took the straw out of its plastic wrapper and poked it into the box and took a sip. “Mmm! Wow its yummy!”
The juice had a fruity blast to the taste. It tasted like a tropical paradise on my tongue with a juicy squeeze of various fruits that made up a fruit punch. Then I heard laughter and turned my head toward the sound of it.
“You have such a dumb looking smile on your face, you know.” He laughed and pointed at my face.
“Eh, I do?” I touched my face not knowing my own emotion my face was expressing, “I guess this juice taste so good it made me smile without me noticing…”
“Yup, that’s what ‘Charm Juice’ does to first tasters.” He smiled down gently at his juice box.
The subway train arrived. Had it been five minutes already? When I took a sip of the ‘Charm Juice’ the happiness it brought me seemed familiar. Maybe this is the beginning of me recovering my memories. I smiled and walked through the automatic doors of the subway. I took a seat on the second to last row near the window. The guy sat next to me…
“Uh…” I looked at him.
“Tae, Tae Wong.” Was all he said still looking forward.
“…Pardon?”
“sophomore, fifteen, class 2-F” He continued without looking at me, “You?” he finally turned his head to face me.
“Oh, you were introducing yourself? You have a weird way of doing that.” I chuckled a bit. He sighed. “Alright, I’ll play along. Lynn, Lynn Tomoyo, sophomore, fifteen, class 2-C”
“You’re a sophomore too? You seem so…childish though.” He examined me.
“Excuse me? Well I’m not one who says stupid introductions and discouraging words!” I turned to face the window and away from his face.
I heard him get up from the seat and moved behind me, the back seat. We stayed in silence for the whole ride. What an ugly person he was, not even close to being human! Rude, unforgiving, little brat was what he was. Tae Wong, the one with the ugliest inside! I then soon started to exhaust myself with cursing his name in rage, and fell asleep.
I then felt a tap on my shoulder.
“I’m Sorry, Lynn Tomoyo.” Tae said as he walked past me and out the door.
I then got up as well and left the subway. It looked like Tae had already gone ahead of me, so I walked alone along the trail to the school. ---------------- If you like it and want to read more the link to where I'm posting it is in my siggy. x:
Hope it's good & you like it... Sorry for incorrect grammar o_o kthx... bai..........
Last edited by Crownie on Sun Sep 25, 2011 4:31 pm; edited 1 time in total | |
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Janelle Veteran Fantagian
Posts : 4931 Join date : 2011-02-28 Age : 22 Location : ur mom
| Subject: Re: Charm Juice★ Sat Sep 24, 2011 9:13 pm | |
| When i clicked the spoiler i was like | |
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Crownie Dedicated Fantagian
Posts : 1010 Join date : 2011-09-11 Age : 28 Location : In the center of the sun.
| Subject: Re: Charm Juice★ Sat Sep 24, 2011 9:15 pm | |
| LOL I KNOW. K. too much. :c | |
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FruitCake Veteran Fantagian
Posts : 4126 Join date : 2011-05-24 Age : 22 Location : ♫
| Subject: Re: Charm Juice★ Sat Sep 24, 2011 9:16 pm | |
| Wow great story for chapter 1 | |
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Queen Veteran Fantagian
Posts : 4500 Join date : 2010-07-20 Age : 23 Location : nowhereland
| Subject: Re: Charm Juice★ Sat Sep 24, 2011 9:17 pm | |
| @Janelle ~ I know Right! @Crownie ~ Your a Better writer than me. C: | |
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Crownie Dedicated Fantagian
Posts : 1010 Join date : 2011-09-11 Age : 28 Location : In the center of the sun.
| Subject: Re: Charm Juice★ Sat Sep 24, 2011 9:21 pm | |
| @Cake - thank you. @queenfairy - nooo. Yours are nice and short. Keeps the attention of the reader c: And mine has too much dialogue because I originally made this story in a manga form :s | |
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Janelle Veteran Fantagian
Posts : 4931 Join date : 2011-02-28 Age : 22 Location : ur mom
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Queen Veteran Fantagian
Posts : 4500 Join date : 2010-07-20 Age : 23 Location : nowhereland
| Subject: Re: Charm Juice★ Sat Sep 24, 2011 9:27 pm | |
| @Crownie ~ I tried to have not much Dialogue, whats the theme of your story? Since I only read a bit for now. Mine is like a ♥ story one. | |
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Crownie Dedicated Fantagian
Posts : 1010 Join date : 2011-09-11 Age : 28 Location : In the center of the sun.
| Subject: Re: Charm Juice★ Sat Sep 24, 2011 9:31 pm | |
| - Queenfairylight7 wrote:
- @Crownie ~ I tried to have not much Dialogue, whats the theme of your story? Since I only read a bit for now.
Mine is like a ♥ story one. It's supposed to be about the girl trying to regain her memories that was lost because of an incident that happened many years ago when she was little. The memories are supposed to be very painful so her subconscious locks them away but since she's older now she's determined to find out what was the incident. and yeahhh.... lol | |
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Queen Veteran Fantagian
Posts : 4500 Join date : 2010-07-20 Age : 23 Location : nowhereland
| Subject: Re: Charm Juice★ Sat Sep 24, 2011 9:33 pm | |
| Wow. That reminds me of this Anime. | |
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Crownie Dedicated Fantagian
Posts : 1010 Join date : 2011-09-11 Age : 28 Location : In the center of the sun.
| Subject: Re: Charm Juice★ Sat Sep 24, 2011 9:34 pm | |
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Queen Veteran Fantagian
Posts : 4500 Join date : 2010-07-20 Age : 23 Location : nowhereland
| Subject: Re: Charm Juice★ Sat Sep 24, 2011 9:39 pm | |
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Crownie Dedicated Fantagian
Posts : 1010 Join date : 2011-09-11 Age : 28 Location : In the center of the sun.
| Subject: Re: Charm Juice★ Sat Sep 24, 2011 9:40 pm | |
| Ouuu you should pm me once you remember I wanna check it out xD | |
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Queen Veteran Fantagian
Posts : 4500 Join date : 2010-07-20 Age : 23 Location : nowhereland
| Subject: Re: Charm Juice★ Sat Sep 24, 2011 9:41 pm | |
| Okay. I'll try to remember. | |
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Relora Hero Fantagian
Posts : 6776 Join date : 2010-11-30 Age : 27 Location : Define "Location"
| Subject: Re: Charm Juice★ Sat Sep 24, 2011 9:43 pm | |
| I find it captivating. Bravo! I wish to read more. | |
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Queen Veteran Fantagian
Posts : 4500 Join date : 2010-07-20 Age : 23 Location : nowhereland
| Subject: Re: Charm Juice★ Sat Sep 24, 2011 9:45 pm | |
| @Relora ~ Go to the link below her siggy its called My Stories. and Chapter 2 should be there. C: | |
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Relora Hero Fantagian
Posts : 6776 Join date : 2010-11-30 Age : 27 Location : Define "Location"
| Subject: THANK YOU ^^ Sat Sep 24, 2011 9:46 pm | |
| Thank chu lol didn't notice that ^^ | |
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Crownie Dedicated Fantagian
Posts : 1010 Join date : 2011-09-11 Age : 28 Location : In the center of the sun.
| Subject: Re: Charm Juice★ Sat Sep 24, 2011 9:47 pm | |
| Actually what I posted is only a fragment of chapter one >_< ; Since chapter one is so long... So you'll have to start somewhere in chapter 1. | |
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Relora Hero Fantagian
Posts : 6776 Join date : 2010-11-30 Age : 27 Location : Define "Location"
| Subject: Re: Charm Juice★ Sat Sep 24, 2011 9:49 pm | |
| You shoulda posted it all even if it was so long I'm reading it again and I like it :3
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Crownie Dedicated Fantagian
Posts : 1010 Join date : 2011-09-11 Age : 28 Location : In the center of the sun.
| Subject: Re: Charm Juice★ Sat Sep 24, 2011 9:51 pm | |
| - Aurora wrote:
- You shoulda posted it all even if it was so long I'm reading it again and I like it :3
Aw thank you. I'm glad you do (: | |
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Soy New Fantagian
Posts : 18 Join date : 2011-09-25 Age : 27 Location : Earth..
| Subject: Re: Charm Juice★ Sun Sep 25, 2011 3:56 pm | |
| Soy likey. It's pretty good :> | |
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isolxtedsystem Dedicated Fantagian
Posts : 1408 Join date : 2011-07-23
| Subject: Re: Charm Juice★ Sun Sep 25, 2011 4:15 pm | |
| Can't wait 'till the next chapter. | |
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Crownie Dedicated Fantagian
Posts : 1010 Join date : 2011-09-11 Age : 28 Location : In the center of the sun.
| Subject: Re: Charm Juice★ Sun Sep 25, 2011 4:19 pm | |
| - Lucifer wrote:
- Can't wait 'till the next chapter.
If you're talking about chapter 2, it is out but since these are very long chapters I posted them somewhere else. Link is in my siggy. &This was only the beginning part of chapter 1 x: just sayin`
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isolxtedsystem Dedicated Fantagian
Posts : 1408 Join date : 2011-07-23
| Subject: Re: Charm Juice★ Sun Sep 25, 2011 4:21 pm | |
| - Crownie wrote:
- Lucifer wrote:
- Can't wait 'till the next chapter.
If you're talking about chapter 2, it is out but since these are very long chapters I posted them somewhere else. Link is in my siggy. &This was only the beginning part of chapter 1 x: just sayin`
Okay, Thank you! :] | |
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Blackrose Hero Fantagian
Posts : 7338 Join date : 2010-07-20
| Subject: Re: Charm Juice★ Sun Sep 25, 2011 4:28 pm | |
| that's a preview? that's like a whole chapter or a movie trailer! ! | |
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