| | The Dead Rise Again. *Chapter Four is out* | |
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+8Makkine 69hot_wangs69 elsa ♡ Mustard Winnowill **♥ Anni Hart♥** Gymnastics 4 life Relora 12 posters | |
What do you think? | Spectatcular | | 56% | [ 5 ] | Great | | 22% | [ 2 ] | good | | 0% | [ 0 ] | okay | | 11% | [ 1 ] | needs work | | 0% | [ 0 ] | ehhh..... | | 0% | [ 0 ] | bad | | 0% | [ 0 ] | horrendous | | 11% | [ 1 ] |
| Total Votes : 9 | | |
| Author | Message |
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taehyung Veteran Fantagian
Posts : 3089 Join date : 2011-07-15 Age : 23 Location : somewhere
| Subject: Re: The Dead Rise Again. *Chapter Four is out* Thu Nov 24, 2011 9:38 am | |
| Me 2 Its SOOO NICE but there are some spelling mistakes | |
| | | alex Moderator
Posts : 23507 Join date : 2010-08-10 Age : 24 Location : google maps
| Subject: Re: The Dead Rise Again. *Chapter Four is out* Thu Nov 24, 2011 9:39 am | |
| GUYS. PLEASE STOP WITH THE CORRECTING. :T
I really like it! you need to write more [; | |
| | | Gymnastics 4 life Senior Fantagian
Posts : 420 Join date : 2011-10-21 Age : 24 Location : Oh my god dude, you just can't go asking where people live...
| Subject: Re: The Dead Rise Again. *Chapter Four is out* Thu Nov 24, 2011 9:47 am | |
| - Spy-der wrote:
- rin wrote:
- Relora wrote:
Prologue - Spoiler:
I was six.... I was six when the first little bit of information of the disease was leaked. I was six when the rest of the world brushed off the claims, either to stupid to think or to fearful to imagine. I was six when the world's ending had begun.
The world was already about to destroy itself. The east and west union, made up of various countries (names of which I can not remember), had been at war for a good year by then. No one could go outside without being harassed, questioned and sometimes mistakenly killed. The average person lived in fear, for themselves, their family, and their union. No one wanted to lose but at the time no one could bear to win, to hold the guilt of wiping out half of the world's population wasn't going to be the best thing to hold in your mind, to tell your children.
But, that had been ten long years ago, and with each passing year it only got worse. Someone had to win right? Well by now that little rumor came to life. By now top scientists in both unions started to work towards replicating it. It took thousands of lives, spies, medicine, trust. Everything had been risked for one workable vile of that wretched liquid.
Sadly, they made. Exactly one moment the first mean of biological warfare had begun. The disease, meant to shut down, reprogram and reactivate one's very own brain, went out of control. People dieing and then only coming back up and and killing those that loved them most. Human flesh, living flesh, was their water and food. They needed and eventually others caught the disease through even the tiniest of bites.
One month afterword is where we are now. Large settlements with every defense know to man are kept to keep the tiniest shred of hope untorn.
Comments, ratings, constructive criticism all appreciated ^^
I have some grammar corrections if I may. 1.can not is cannot 2.10 and over is written in numeral form 3.dieing is dying I can't find anything else it's very good other than that ^.^ I am seriously getting sick of all these grammar nazis.
I dont think she posted that whole thing just so that people can reply saying that she misspelled 2 words. Honestly, who gives a crap. Everybody makes grammatical errors. Everyone. Comment on the story, not her misspellings.
Why do you guys do it anyway? How is pointing out that she used 'can not', instead of 'cannot' relevant? Am I missing something? Is it to make yourself look smart? I'll tell you right now, it's not working, it's annoying.
Anyway, I didnt get to read the whole thing yet, and I've got to go. I'll finish it later and edit this post out with my opinion on the story. I just had to get that stuff off of my chest. Dude,I never meant to use it in a rude way.Chill.There's no reason to get mad at me in genral.I just found 3 things wrong and I used it to help her in the future,sieriously bro.Chill. | |
| | | Relora Hero Fantagian
Posts : 6776 Join date : 2010-11-30 Age : 26 Location : Define "Location"
| Subject: Re: The Dead Rise Again. *Chapter Four is out* Thu Nov 24, 2011 10:11 am | |
| - Ani wrote:
- GUYS. PLEASE STOP WITH THE CORRECTING. :T
I really like it! you need to write more [; It's okay if they correct. Though I wish they could have a more helpful critique, the little things matter and they need to be fixed as well. And thanks everyone ^^ Your comments made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside :3 | |
| | | Relora Hero Fantagian
Posts : 6776 Join date : 2010-11-30 Age : 26 Location : Define "Location"
| Subject: Re: The Dead Rise Again. *Chapter Four is out* Thu Nov 24, 2011 8:30 pm | |
| (sorry for the double post)
Chapter three is out everyone ^^
Hope you enjoy, don't forget to comment and critique. If you see a spelling mistake or grammatical error don't forget to include it in your post. | |
| | | Winnowill Loyal Fantagian
Posts : 1929 Join date : 2011-10-28
| Subject: Re: The Dead Rise Again. *Chapter Four is out* Thu Nov 24, 2011 8:35 pm | |
| I loved it! The candy scene was cute...
How do you come up with the descriptive text? It's beautiful and very poetic. | |
| | | Relora Hero Fantagian
Posts : 6776 Join date : 2010-11-30 Age : 26 Location : Define "Location"
| Subject: Re: The Dead Rise Again. *Chapter Four is out* Thu Nov 24, 2011 8:40 pm | |
| - Silmaril wrote:
- I loved it! The candy scene was cute...
How do you come up with the descriptive text? It's beautiful and very poetic. I'm glad you liked that. I don't know really though. The candy scene I created in my mind after my sister gave me my favorite candy, which happen to bebottle caps which can have a purple wrapper xD, from her Halloween stash. The text just kind of comes to me. I normally get my ideas from outside influences and events and feelings to get my story going. What I find funny is people just learned the main characters name, I really need to edit it in to chapter one lol | |
| | | Relora Hero Fantagian
Posts : 6776 Join date : 2010-11-30 Age : 26 Location : Define "Location"
| Subject: Re: The Dead Rise Again. *Chapter Four is out* Mon Dec 05, 2011 3:33 pm | |
| Chapter four is out, my creative buzz for the story has diminished so don't expect a bunch of updates lol.
Probably a once or twice a month thing now :3 | |
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