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 One More Chance

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yvonnelol
Senior Fantagian


Posts : 346
Join date : 2010-03-20
Location : This is a new episode of Punk'd.

PostSubject: One More Chance   Thu Dec 23, 2010 4:43 pm

Prologue
Spoiler:
 
Chapter 1: Preschool, Age 5
Spoiler:
 
Chapter 2: Danger! Danger!, Age 7
Spoiler:
 


Last edited by yvonnelol on Mon Dec 27, 2010 4:57 pm; edited 5 times in total
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sahilin
Senior Fantagian


Posts : 351
Join date : 2010-11-01
Location : Good Question.

PostSubject: Re: One More Chance   Thu Dec 23, 2010 4:44 pm

I like it!
Emily is a pretty name!
Infact, I had that name for french class last year! =)
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♥cherry♥
Senior Fantagian


Posts : 436
Join date : 2010-12-09
Location : Up your butt and around the corner

PostSubject: Re: One More Chance   Thu Dec 23, 2010 8:33 pm

DO U LIKE WAFFLES?
[YEA I LIKE WAFFLES]
DO U LIKE PANCAKES?
[YES I LIKE PANCAKES]
DO U LIKE FRENCH TOAST?
[YES I LIKE FRENCH TOAST]
DO DO DO DO CANT WAIT TO GET A MOUTH FULL! xDD
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bladerunner22
Devoted Fantagian


Posts : 530
Join date : 2010-11-27
Age : 17
Location : Asia

PostSubject: Re: One More Chance   Fri Dec 24, 2010 1:55 am

um sissy, off topic...

nice prolouge. like the name for the baby too! Smile
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racchel2107
Senior Fantagian


Posts : 270
Join date : 2010-11-12
Age : 20
Location : venus!

PostSubject: Re: One More Chance   Fri Dec 24, 2010 8:29 am

ihappy christmas everyone!!!!!11
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pokeranger
Hero Fantagian


Posts : 5449
Join date : 2010-01-29
Location : Loading...

PostSubject: Re: One More Chance   Fri Dec 24, 2010 9:19 am

I think that's a preview. The name Emily's nice!
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Nakira
Dedicated Fantagian


Posts : 1137
Join date : 2010-07-12
Age : 20
Location : the groan zone

PostSubject: Re: One More Chance   Fri Dec 24, 2010 2:41 pm

Hmm, this story seems pretty good. I don't see much of a plot, but since the story just began, I just have to be patient. xD
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♥cherry♥
Senior Fantagian


Posts : 436
Join date : 2010-12-09
Location : Up your butt and around the corner

PostSubject: Re: One More Chance   Fri Dec 24, 2010 3:03 pm

great!
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yvettelol
New Fantagian


Posts : 10
Join date : 2010-12-22
Age : 13

PostSubject: Re: One More Chance   Mon Dec 27, 2010 5:59 pm

cool story i got a little scared when i read chapter 2
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nymphie
Passionate Fantagian


Posts : 769
Join date : 2010-09-11
Age : 16
Location : Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry

PostSubject: Re: One More Chance   Mon Dec 27, 2010 7:32 pm

i will be honest not much of a plot.
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pokeranger
Hero Fantagian


Posts : 5449
Join date : 2010-01-29
Location : Loading...

PostSubject: Re: One More Chance   Tue Dec 28, 2010 12:06 am

Story line is moving too fast for me... ;P It seems interesting though
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bladerunner22
Devoted Fantagian


Posts : 530
Join date : 2010-11-27
Age : 17
Location : Asia

PostSubject: Re: One More Chance   Tue Dec 28, 2010 4:31 am

You need to make your chapters a little bit longer. And with more description.
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racchel2107
Senior Fantagian


Posts : 270
Join date : 2010-11-12
Age : 20
Location : venus!

PostSubject: Re: One More Chance   Tue Dec 28, 2010 4:49 am

make the chapters a bit longer is bladerunner said and make the sentences longer too

heyzz! look at my utube!

http://www.youtube.com/user/loveme21071?feature=mhum
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PostSubject: Re: One More Chance   Today at 2:38 pm

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