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 ♥Suu~Itoburīzu♥

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PostSubject: ♥Suu~Itoburīzu♥   Mon Sep 26, 2011 4:24 pm

Sorry if it's too short. o___o
Chapter One:
 

Chapter Two:
 

Chapter Three:
 

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Last edited by b2uty. on Wed Sep 28, 2011 10:58 pm; edited 13 times in total
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Crownie
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PostSubject: Re: ♥Suu~Itoburīzu♥   Mon Sep 26, 2011 4:53 pm

I don't think it's too short, but is that all of chapter one?
It somewhat seems incomplete if it was all of chapter one.
Sounds kind of like an intro, or a beginning of a chapter.
It is a good start, especially with a lot of description with the setting.
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PostSubject: Re: ♥Suu~Itoburīzu♥   Mon Sep 26, 2011 5:55 pm

Crownie wrote:
I don't think it's too short, but is that all of chapter one?
It somewhat seems incomplete if it was all of chapter one.
Sounds kind of like an intro, or a beginning of a chapter.
It is a good start, especially with a lot of description with the setting.

Thanks!
I didn't really get to finish chapter one, since my mom wanted to go on it, and she spent a lot of time with it.
So yeah. I'm planning on finishing the whole chapter later on tonight. c:

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PostSubject: Re: ♥Suu~Itoburīzu♥   Mon Sep 26, 2011 5:56 pm

you have some potential here keep it up [:
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PostSubject: Re: ♥Suu~Itoburīzu♥   Tue Sep 27, 2011 5:31 pm

Chapter two is added, chapter three will be coming later out in the day.
It seems as if chapter two isn't very detailed, though, but meh. :p

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PostSubject: Re: ♥Suu~Itoburīzu♥   Tue Sep 27, 2011 5:42 pm

your an awesome writer [:
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PostSubject: Re: ♥Suu~Itoburīzu♥   Tue Sep 27, 2011 5:55 pm

Bubbles wrote:
your an awesome writer [:

Thank you! [:

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PostSubject: Re: ♥Suu~Itoburīzu♥   Tue Sep 27, 2011 6:16 pm

Its Awesome!

Good Details! C:
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PostSubject: Re: ♥Suu~Itoburīzu♥   Wed Sep 28, 2011 5:42 pm

Chapter three is posted.

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PostSubject: Re: ♥Suu~Itoburīzu♥   Wed Sep 28, 2011 8:27 pm

I can't wait until you write more! I love how much suspense there is in the story.
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PostSubject: Re: ♥Suu~Itoburīzu♥   Thu Sep 29, 2011 10:11 am

Eh, I don't think it's small. Chapter 2 is a bit scary, but overall it's amazing! Very Happy Very Happy
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PostSubject: Re: ♥Suu~Itoburīzu♥   Thu Sep 29, 2011 11:12 am

I like it how this story flows together. The word choice is frikkin awesome, and I like how you describe everything clearly.
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PostSubject: Re: ♥Suu~Itoburīzu♥   Thu Sep 29, 2011 2:16 pm

Too long for my likes , but it looks nice

Magnet4friends Very Happy
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PostSubject: Re: ♥Suu~Itoburīzu♥   Thu Sep 29, 2011 6:46 pm

Looooooove it

but... wheres my cookie D:
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PostSubject: Re: ♥Suu~Itoburīzu♥   Thu Sep 29, 2011 6:56 pm

epic! only problem:her arms are a little chubby ;/ keep workin tho ;D
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PostSubject: Re: ♥Suu~Itoburīzu♥   Fri Sep 30, 2011 1:25 pm

Thanks guys! ♥
I'm posting chapter four up soon. c:

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PostSubject: Re: ♥Suu~Itoburīzu♥   Today at 6:53 am

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