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 нσтαяυ

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Bluerivers
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PostSubject: нσтαяυ   Fri Dec 02, 2011 8:55 am

This is a story I wrote for school. Should I continue it?

Leaves crunched on the ground, not knowing how lucky they were to just be able to break apart and disappear as Aneko Sasaki's boots ran over them vigorously.
She knew no one knew she was awake. She knew the ryokan that her family owned was lodging many travelers that night but she also knew that none of them would think twice if they saw a young Japanese girl running into the woods. Besides, they were all asleep. It was almost two in the morning.
Aneko had curly jet black hair that cascaded past her waist. Usually she kept it in a lazy braid, but tonight she made that braid very poised and strong. Just like she was going to have to be.
Aneko had no idea where she was going. She just wanted to get away from "home".
After her grandmother died, she felt like she'd lost herself. Her beloved grandmother was gone from the explosion in Hiroshima. She had been killed almost on impact.
Soon after, her parents collected her grandmother's money and belongings, and sold them off for more money. Aneko resented this so much; it made her blood boil and her body freeze in anger.
The night after her parents sold her grandmother's last possession, Aneko decided to run away.
Now that she was actually doing it, it felt surreal. She knew she had to be on the run for a while, until she was ready to face her parents. Right now, she just... she just couldn't. Aneko didn't know why.
As she pondered this thought, she reached the other side of the forest, which opened up into a lush waterfall.
Aneko decided to rest. She was a decent three or four miles away from home.
She opened up her knapsack that she'd taken with her. Inside was her engraved katana; a gift from her grandmother. The handle was maroon and had cherry blossoms on it while the blade was a solid gold. Her grandmother had warned her about being careful with it, and how expensive it was. The other things Aneko had with her was a sack of gold coins and some dumplings her mother had made the night before. There were a few changes of clothes, and other things of the sort; such as her hairbrush and her favorite comb. There was also a canteen of water.
Aneko shivered as she took a small swig. She realized she should have worn warmer clothes for night time, even though it was winter.
All the thirteen year old girl was wearing were her work boots; a woolen black cloak; and her mother's old kimono. However, her kimono didn't drag along the ground like Aneko's own did. It drifted above the tops of her work boots.
She had changes of clothes with her but she was starting to wonder how long she could last without being in her warm "home".
She finished taking a drink and decided to keep running. She could not sleep by the waterfall for the night. It was too close.
She rose, only to be shocked by a small whimper that sounded as if it were coming from a puppy.
She gripped her katana tightly, just in case she needed to use it.
Then she saw it.
A small Akita puppy rounded a tree and stared at Aneko. It was shaking.
Its coloring was so different. It looked like it was black, but it seemed to have this gray tone to it, sort of like dark clouds during a thunderstorm. Without thinking twice, Aneko swooped over to pick up the puppy and held it to her chest.
"Oh, you're a him," She said to herself, giggling for the first time in weeks.
He put his head against her chest, feeling the warmth of her cloak and her kimono.
"Are you hungry?" Aneko asked, instantly having her spirits uplifted. She fed the puppy one of her dumplings.
As the puppy ate it happily, a firefly landed on his back. Aneko instantly knew what she would name him.
"Hotaru, that's what your name is. Hotaru means firefly."
After Hotaru finished eating, Aneko rose. She knew she had to begin walking again.
Now that she had a friend, though; she did not feel as alone.
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Relora
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PostSubject: Re: нσтαяυ   Fri Dec 02, 2011 9:26 am

It was real nice, and finally someone else who knows what an Akita is lol.
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Winnowill
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PostSubject: Re: нσтαяυ   Fri Dec 02, 2011 10:23 am

That was really beautiful...I wish I could write like that...

There are so many good writers on this forum!
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eden
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PostSubject: Re: нσтαяυ   Fri Dec 02, 2011 10:43 am

Beautiful. ^^ And yes, you should continue this!
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Bluerivers
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PostSubject: Re: нσтαяυ   Fri Dec 02, 2011 10:50 am

Thank you! c: That means a lot. I love Japanese culture.
By the way, this story is taking place in Japan in 1946.

Here's what I have written so far past that;

Aneko entered a deep sleep in the middle of a forest about ten miles away from home where she was sure no one would find her.
Suddenly she was tapped on the shoulder by a woman in a white dress with long, tangled black hair. Hotaru, who was sleeping in Aneko's knapsack, stared at the woman intently.
"Please awake," The woman said through tears. "I need to do something, please hold my child, please."
Aneko woke up and held the baby, who had brown almond shaped eyes and creamy colored skin.
"Where are you-"
Aneko looked up to find that the woman had disappeared.
I must be dreaming...
The baby in her arms began crying for its mother.
Aneko was startled and Hotaru's eyes were filled with... something. Hotaru knew something was wrong.
Aneko looked at Hotaru and then back at the baby.
But the baby was gone, and in its place was a rock.
She set the rock on the ground next to her and fell back asleep.
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snake
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PostSubject: Re: нσтαяυ   Fri Dec 02, 2011 12:07 pm

no offense but last time i discussed japanese things with you you said it was stupid and that you didnt care im just saying
the story is nice yeah continue if you want
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Relora
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PostSubject: Re: нσтαяυ   Fri Dec 02, 2011 12:34 pm

I had a feeling it was in japan after you mentioned the Akita, and katana.

I'm really liking it so far :3
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Bluerivers
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PostSubject: Re: нσтαяυ   Fri Dec 02, 2011 5:15 pm

Thankyou.

It's supposed to be post WW II related.
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PostSubject: Re: нσтαяυ   Fri Dec 02, 2011 5:18 pm

CONTINUE, OR DIE.
/holds up gun
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Bluerivers
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PostSubject: Re: нσтαяυ   Fri Dec 02, 2011 7:18 pm

Slowly, Aneko awakened.
She saw Hotaru stretch a few minutes after she woke up. She had taken a tatami mat along with her to sleep on.
Aneko fed Hotaru a dumpling and she ate one herself while she combed her hair. She changed into a daytime kimono with the sun on it and sheepskin wooden-bottomed boots.
“We must go,” She said to Hotaru. Her puppy was freshened up and ready to go.
She folded her tatami mat up and hoisted Hotaru into her knapsack. She had cleared a space just for him in the front pouch, and he fit perfectly.
“When you get big enough, we need to get you a leash so you can walk with me, my little firefly,” Aneko smiled as Hotaru began falling asleep to the soft rhythm of her pace.
“I love you, my little firefly. More than anything in this wor-“
Hotaru whimpered suddenly.
“What’s wrong?” Aneko flipped her head around and saw someone lunging at her.
She screamed, and reached into her knapsack for her katana. She felt Hotaru fall out of his pocket and she screamed more.
The person lunging toward her tried going for Hotaru. Aneko didn’t care who it was at that point.
Hurting Hotaru meant war.
In one swift movement, Aneko used both of her feet to give her enough strength to ricochet off the ground and onto the attacker’s back. She waited until he realized she was there and straddled his back, using her right leg to kick his legs so he’d fall to the ground, stomach-first. She tried keeping him down and used the sash on her kimono to try and do so. She was having problems holding her breath as he cursed at her, begging her to let him go, threatening her. Suddenly, Hotaru came over and his hand reached out and grabbed him.
That was it.
Aneko took her katana and plunged it through the man’s heart, instantly killing him. She removed it just as fast as she’d placed it in; she looked in horror at what had just happened. Hotaru was safe, but Aneko wasn’t.
At least, her conscience wasn’t.
It was self defense… Hotaru’s defense…
She went to a nearby pond and cleaned off the blood off of her katana. She could not believe herself.
This is life. I have to do whatever it takes now to protect what I have.
What I have is Hotaru.
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Relora
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PostSubject: Re: нσтαяυ   Fri Dec 02, 2011 7:27 pm

Oh that has me hooked, very exciting and I personally know the feeling of not wanting your dog hurt. Connects with me as well, I want more ;3
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PostSubject: Re: нσтαяυ   Sun Dec 04, 2011 2:50 pm


Aneko trekked through the woods for a good four or five hours. She eventually came to a beach.
Long blue water spread over the horizon, and Aneko’s piercing ice blue eyes sparkled.
She set Hotaru down.
It was one thing to see a beach in the winter. The beach and winter seemed like total opposites. The angry waves crashed against the shore, reminding Aneko of her feelings.
The waves were angry and raving; refusing to be challenged or stopped. Their strength was unbelievable, and it built up over a short period of time. Then they saw the shore. By the time they reached the sand and the gravel they had dissolved into sweet foam, but then the waves were pulled back out again, back to the openness of the ocean and to the madness of the currents.
Aneko removed her cloak and kimono from her body, and let the afternoon sun bathe her skin. She set Hotaru down, knowing he would stay as she took off her boots. She finally finished, and she ran into the crazy waves to immerse herself in the freezing water.
Her body instantly tensed up because she felt like she was being frozen alive; that’s how chilled the water was. Her veins felt like icicles and her nerves felt like Christmas lights; left in the cold and snow constantly with only the rest of their filament to warm them.
Hotaru barked and cowered at the water, knowing Aneko was going to freeze to death if she stayed in too long.
Snow began to drift softly from the sky, landing on the water and dissolving instantly.
Aneko saw it and laughed. She could not feel herself anymore; her entire body was numb. The snow came harder and faster; and before she knew it she was enveloped in a blizzard.
The snow whirled around her until she could barely see. Hotaru ran for cover beneath a tree not far from the edge of the shore. His fur protected him from becoming too cold; yet Aneko had no fur.
Her teeth chattered as the waves threw her around, her body becoming too limp and lifeless to move. She was still breathing; but the waves kept throwing her under the water.
She closed her eyes and waited for the end.
Suddenly, right as the last wave almost threw Aneko to her death, Hotaru barked.
Hotaru’s bark sounded so forlorn and helpless; so scared, so lost. Aneko’s eyes snapped open and she began fighting her way back.
“Hotaru!” She cried through the water and the snow and all of the hardships she was facing. Aneko ran back to her puppy, sand clinging to her wet body with every step she took. Her kimono was soaked and filled with sand; but everything in her knapsack seemed safe. Aneko could not believe she had almost died and her body was still numb from being so cold. She needed to get somewhere warm.
She put on her wet kimono and cloak and boots and picked up her knapsack and Hotaru.
Aneko ran into the woods once more.
Her heart stopped when she saw the same woman that she had seen in her dream.
Maybe I’m hallucinating…
The woman’s white dress was now soaked with something that Aneko was too drowsy to make out. Suddenly the woman saw Aneko, and as Aneko blinked, she saw the woman in front of her, and she felt a hard punch to her stomach.
Aneko couldn’t see anything for a minute except the woman’s face. It was a beautiful face, that was a no-brainer; but there was something that the woman looked like that Aneko couldn’t describe.
She fell to the ground and didn’t wake up until the next morning.
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Squirtle
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PostSubject: Re: нσтαяυ   Sun Dec 04, 2011 3:16 pm

continue it!
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Bluerivers
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PostSubject: Re: нσтαяυ   Tue Dec 06, 2011 9:06 am

Aneko trekked through the woods for a good four or five hours. She eventually came to a beach.
Long blue water spread over the horizon, and Aneko’s piercing ice blue eyes sparkled.
She set Hotaru down.
It was one thing to see a beach in the winter. The beach and winter seemed like total opposites. The angry waves crashed against the shore, reminding Aneko of her feelings.
The waves were angry and raving; refusing to be challenged or stopped. Their strength was unbelievable, and it built up over a short period of time. Then they saw the shore. By the time they reached the sand and the gravel they had dissolved into sweet foam, but then the waves were pulled back out again, back to the openness of the ocean and to the madness of the currents.
Aneko removed her cloak and kimono from her body, and let the afternoon sun bathe her skin. She set Hotaru down, knowing he would stay as she took off her boots. She finally finished, and she ran into the crazy waves to immerse herself in the freezing water.
Her body instantly tensed up because she felt like she was being frozen alive; that’s how chilled the water was. Her veins felt like icicles and her nerves felt like Christmas lights; left in the cold and snow constantly with only the rest of their filament to warm them.
Hotaru barked and cowered at the water, knowing Aneko was going to freeze to death if she stayed in too long.
Snow began to drift softly from the sky, landing on the water and dissolving instantly.
Aneko saw it and laughed. She could not feel herself anymore; her entire body was numb. The snow came harder and faster; and before she knew it she was enveloped in a blizzard.
The snow whirled around her until she could barely see. Hotaru ran for cover beneath a tree not far from the edge of the shore. His fur protected him from becoming too cold; yet Aneko had no fur.
Her teeth chattered as the waves threw her around, her body becoming too limp and lifeless to move. She was still breathing; but the waves kept throwing her under the water.
She closed her eyes and waited for the end.
Suddenly, right as the last wave almost threw Aneko to her death, Hotaru barked.
Hotaru’s bark sounded so forlorn and helpless; so scared, so lost. Aneko’s eyes snapped open and she began fighting her way back.
“Hotaru!” She cried through the water and the snow and all of the hardships she was facing. It seemed to take her ages; she was getting pushed down constantly by the waves and the wind. Eventually, Aneko ran back to her puppy, sand clinging to her wet body with every step she took. Her kimono was soaked and filled with sand; but everything in her knapsack seemed safe. Aneko could not believe she had almost died and her body was still numb from being so cold. She needed to get somewhere warm.
She put on her wet kimono and cloak and boots and picked up her knapsack and Hotaru.
Aneko ran into the woods once more.
Her heart stopped when she saw the same woman that she had seen in her dream.
Maybe I’m hallucinating…
The woman’s white dress was now soaked with something that Aneko was too drowsy to make out. Suddenly the woman saw Aneko, and as Aneko blinked, she saw the woman in front of her, and she felt a hard punch to her stomach.
Aneko couldn’t see anything for a minute except the woman’s face. It was a beautiful face, that was a no-brainer; but there was something that the woman looked like that Aneko couldn’t describe.
She fell to the ground and didn’t wake up until the next morning.

It was dawn when Aneko woke up.
The sunlight was blinding her, even though it wasn’t that bright yet.
Her hair had been brushed and piled on top of her head, and it looked perfect. She was wearing a traditional cherry blossom kimono and sandals.
She was lying on a tatami mat; one that was precise in its measurements. She could see a small waterfall outside.
The water trickled down softly and it was the only sound that Aneko heard. She was confused about where she was.
Aneko reached for her knapsack because she was hungry and wanted a dumpling
She quickly realized her knapsack was gone.
Aneko began to panic, because her knapsack held everything she needed.
Suddenly she realized she was extremely hungry and that Hotaru was gone.
“Hotaru!”
Aneko wished for her beloved katana at that moment and felt the handle jab her in her diaphragm. It was tied in her sash.
She was startled and knew she might have to use it. But if someone was after her and wanted to fight her, wouldn’t they want to hide it from her and possibly use it against her?
Nothing made sense.
“Aneko, always keep this at your side… it will keep you out of harm’s way.”
Aneko remembered her grandmother’s gentle voice and realized so far, the katana had kept her out of harm’s way. She decided to rely on it for her life.
She decided that she would do anything to find where Hotaru was and started looking.
Rising, Aneko realized quickly that this was a test. Even though she could run right outside to the waterfall; the easy way out and the fastest way to save herself, she’d have to break down all these doors and save Hotaru.
This thought alone made Aneko cringe. She felt like a little girl again, and wanted someone she loved near her. That was why she needed to find Hotaru.
The room was sealed tightly from the other walls. There was a door on the ceiling, like a trapdoor.
Other than that, the room was huge. At least thirty square yards. The room was also void of any furniture.
“I’m not afraid of you,” Aneko mustered. “Whoever you are, I am NOT afraid.”
She raised her katana and gripped it tightly when she heard a soft voice say, “I’m not afraid of you, either.”
Aneko whipped around to see a boy with white hair, a white shirt, a golden belt, and flowy caramel –colored pants walking towards her. He was easily five inches taller than her and his eyes were a gold/hazel shade.
“Don’t move,” She warned. “Where’s my dog?”
“Again, I’m not afraid of you, but I’m not going to do anything to make you need to hurt me with that”- The boy pointed at the katana –“And I don’t know where your dog is. I do know where your knapsack is, though.”
“Where?” Aneko burst out before he finished his sentence.
“It’s upstairs.”
Aneko gave the boy a blank look, silently daring him to repeat that without giving her directions on how to get there.
“You need to go up through that door. I’ll help you.” The boy blushed; he had definitely picked up on Aneko’s irritation. “There are only two floors. This house is smaller than it feels and looks.”
Aneko nodded her head and smiled. The boy seemed nice and trustworthy, and that was the kind of person she was going to need to find Hotaru.
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Winnowill
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PostSubject: Re: нσтαяυ   Tue Dec 06, 2011 9:17 am

Bluerivers, this is so perfect! How do you write like that?
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Bluerivers
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PostSubject: Re: нσтαяυ   Tue Dec 06, 2011 11:09 am

“So how are we going to get up there?”
“I can pick you up,” The boy replied.
“I want you to help me find my dog,” Aneko snapped. “Two searchers are better than one.”
“Uh, well, okay. But how are we going to get up there?”
“Maybe we can find something outside.” Aneko turned to leave.
“No, don’t.” The boy grabbed her arm. “If you go outside, you can’t come back in.”
“Didn’t you just come from outside?”
The boy was silent.
“I want to get out of here alive, with my dog, my sanity, and my dignity. So God help me, you will tell me WHERE I AM.”
Aneko was nose to nose with the boy by this point.
“Go get me something from outside if you can go there,” She said, pushing him away.
The boy did what he was told.
“I have a name,” He called. “It’s Kukari.”
Aneko ignored him and let him go find her something to stand on and get through the trap door with.
Kukari returned with a piece of driftwood. Aneko wondered how far she was from the beach.
“Step on this,” He said, placing it under the trap door. She did and they both entered.
They emerged into an extremely small closet. Kukari closed the trap door so they’d have enough room to stand.
The closet was empty when they searched it, and was no bigger than a linen closet. It fit the two of them and left about two square feet of airspace above them.
“I need air,” Aneko complained, and tried to throw the trap door back open.
It would not open. Someone was holding it from the other side.
“They know we’re in here,” Aneko began to panic. She abruptly stopped when Kukari touched her shoulder.
“If they hear us, they’ll find us,” He whispered.
Suddenly Aneko had a plan.
She fell to the ground against the door and quickly urged Kukari to do the same. She had done it fast but sloppily; so the person holding them captive would be easily fooled. Kukari fell on top of Aneko, and stared at her beautiful ice blue eyes, silently begging for an explanation.
She held her finger to her lips and held Kukari’s wrist, warning him to stay still and be quiet.
Aneko counted down to when the person would free them from the closet. When they did, she’d have to roll down and act dead, as would Kukari. She hoped he was catching on to what she was thinking.
Whoever was out there would then come up close and personal with Aneko’s katana. She gripped it as the door opened.
3…2…1…0.
The door flipped open so smoothly and so fast that Aneko almost forgot to clutch her katana. Luckily she kept her steady grip on it as she fell. She didn’t see her attacker until she felt them touch her back and throw her around a little bit to check if she was really dead. When they went to feel her stomach for her heartbeat, Aneko withdrew her katana and slashed them in one quick motion. She heard them scream and she felt herself gain more strength. She slashed again, not looking at her target, and when she felt someone fall to the ground her knees buckled and she knelt down.
Kukari got up and ran to Aneko. The body on the floor in front of them lay motionlessly. It was a man Aneko had never seen before. Aneko was frightened when the body disintegrated right before her eyes. A hidden passageway opened in the room and she realized that she’d have to do this stuff a lot.
Kukari and Aneko entered the passageway, unsure of what to expect.
“What was that all about?” Kukari asked when they were halfway through. All it had been was a steel tunnel so far.
“What was what all about?” Aneko replied. Lanterns lit the otherwise bare passageway.
“They thought we would die of asphyxiation or suffocation if they locked us in there too long,” Aneko continued, realizing what Kukari meant. “If we fell against the door, they’d think we were dead. Also, their arms would get tired of holding us up for so long, because together we’re easily over one hundred fifty pounds. We couldn’t hold the door closed because then they’d know one of us was alive and they’d come up to get us. In that small space, we’d never make it. We had to fall down like we were dead. Then I could pounce.”
“The guy wasn’t armed,” Kukari pointed out. “He wasn’t intending on hurting you.”
“How do you know?” Aneko replied hotly. “There’s something called strangling. And he was keeping us in that closet for a reason. He wanted us to be dead, even if he couldn’t do it himself.”
Kukari nodded, knowing she had a point.
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