elise
Devoted Fantagian
Posts : 613
Join date : 2011-12-01
Age : 32
 | Subject: Ab-so-lutley Positively Perfect! (Story)  Thu Aug 22, 2013 6:06 pm | |
| hope you enjoy it (x ! - Chapter 1, Why?.:
"Ahem, Claire, it is time for dinner!" Claire's mother, Anastasia, called out. "Coming mother!" Claire was a ordinary rich girl, had one wonderful life, only her and her mom, perfect, right? Wrong. "Um. Mother, where is the food?" Anastasia smiled, "Of course there's no food, when do I ever called the dinner, its the chefs job to do that! She started to laugh, Claire was a bit..skeptical. Her mother was laughing about things that weren't even funny. Why? "Anyways, so, remember that guy we met at the cafe?" Claire knew where this was going, she just went to her room instantly, locked her door, and forced herself to sleep.
i'm so sorry about the very short chapter, this was kind of an introduction (: critiques are accepted, thanks for reading  - Chapter 1, Part 2:
Hoping it was just a dream, Claire woke up to a windy, foggy Tuesday. "Ugh, Tuesdays." Claire groaned, she slowly stepped off her bed, creaking the crisp brown wooden floors. Walking towards her huge closet filled with beautiful 5-star brands. Her mac started beeping, Claire didn't notice, and put on a quick dress and went out the tall mansion doors. Her mom's car wasn't there, Claire sighed and got into the silver limo. After the long ride, Claire stepped out, waiting for people to be attracted to her.
this story is so stupid why are you guys reading it? ^^  thanks for reading! these are pretty short though..
Last edited by Elise on Mon Sep 30, 2013 4:33 pm; edited 1 time in total | |
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Blueberry
Rookie Fantagian
Posts : 36
Join date : 2013-08-16
Age : 21
Location : ...um
| | Subject: Re: Ab-so-lutley Positively Perfect! (Story) Thu Aug 22, 2013 6:37 pm | |
| "Claire was a ordinary rich girl, had one wonderful life, only her and her mom, perfect, right?"
I think for the underlined part, ya have to use "an" instead of "a" cuz the next letter after "a" is the "o" from "ordinary" and "o" is a vowel so you have to use "an." | |
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Katerina Petrova
Devoted Fantagian
Posts : 569
Join date : 2013-08-21
Age : 27
| | Subject: Re: Ab-so-lutley Positively Perfect! (Story) Sat Aug 24, 2013 1:03 pm | |
| I like it, carry on.  | |
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Pookie-Chan
Regular Fantagian
Posts : 201
Join date : 2013-06-17
Age : 24
Location : Fairy Tail
| | Subject: Re: Ab-so-lutley Positively Perfect! (Story) Sat Sep 07, 2013 3:36 pm | |
| It's really good you should post this on Wattpad or something. | |
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Relora
Hero Fantagian
Posts : 6776
Join date : 2010-11-30
Age : 27
Location : Define "Location"
| | Subject: Re: Ab-so-lutley Positively Perfect! (Story) Sat Sep 07, 2013 3:52 pm | |
| There are some issues with your punctuation usage, but otherwise it's nice c: | |
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Pookie-Chan
Regular Fantagian
Posts : 201
Join date : 2013-06-17
Age : 24
Location : Fairy Tail
| | Subject: Re: Ab-so-lutley Positively Perfect! (Story) Sat Sep 07, 2013 4:03 pm | |
| Yea I agree but it's still good.
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