| ginger people my story by oliver.... THE NEXT CHAPTERª!!!!! | |
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+11Mr.Noah Usui Gymnastics 4 life mich IM MELODY'S HACKER!!!! alex cupcakesrock Relora Demonica Bishi Primrose Oliver 15 posters |
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Oliver Moderator
Posts : 4588 Join date : 2010-03-03 Age : 24 Location : *lights up a fire* yeah, trying to surivve in a fores.t *smokse a cig* il kill you
| Subject: ginger people my story by oliver.... THE NEXT CHAPTERª!!!!! Thu Sep 06, 2012 8:16 pm | |
| hey my adoring fans i really wanted to keep this story going here is chapter 1 incase you havent read it.... "samantha." nathaniel said "what" she responded, it was quiet, like a leaf "...i think im a ginger" samantha started to cry "how are oyu gonna tell our parents" "i wont" then he moved out and had a girlfirned and because successful just some advice there it is very good now lets put the second chapter "listen natehaniel" the girlfriend said, her eyes were cold like whispers "what!!" "im ..... i want to marry you" nathaniel used a memory eraser on girlfriend "girlfirned will you marry me?" nathaniel said "yes" she said and they got married even though he was a ginger just some advice | |
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Guest Guest
| Subject: Re: ginger people my story by oliver.... THE NEXT CHAPTERª!!!!! Thu Sep 06, 2012 8:18 pm | |
| Oliver, this is beautiful. You should become an author one day.. PLS CONTINUE IT. |
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Guest Guest
| Subject: Re: ginger people my story by oliver.... THE NEXT CHAPTERª!!!!! Thu Sep 06, 2012 8:18 pm | |
| That's awesome But you need to learn how to make things make a little more sense. Make the story gradual, not just say he took her memory. |
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Primrose Ultimate Fantagian
Posts : 8311 Join date : 2011-08-27 Age : 21 Location : District 12
| Subject: Re: ginger people my story by oliver.... THE NEXT CHAPTERª!!!!! Thu Sep 06, 2012 8:24 pm | |
| I don't understand why people its so good. I think its okay, I just don't get it. | |
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Guest Guest
| Subject: Re: ginger people my story by oliver.... THE NEXT CHAPTERª!!!!! Thu Sep 06, 2012 8:29 pm | |
| - Andrea~ wrote:
- I don't understand why people its so good. I think its okay, I just don't get it.
The concept is good. No offense but the litatire isn't the best, it could use improvement but the concept is the best. |
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Oliver Moderator
Posts : 4588 Join date : 2010-03-03 Age : 24 Location : *lights up a fire* yeah, trying to surivve in a fores.t *smokse a cig* il kill you
| Subject: Re: ginger people my story by oliver.... THE NEXT CHAPTERª!!!!! Thu Sep 06, 2012 8:31 pm | |
| thank you for the critik dark manor.... here is the third chapter the honeymoon was arriving "hey girlfirend" nathanaiel said "what?" she asked quietly with whispersi n her eyes and ears and mouths "i love you" "me too" he kissed her and her hair turned ginger, she laughed "gingers" she said "gingers" nathaniel replied just some advice | |
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Guest Guest
| Subject: Re: ginger people my story by oliver.... THE NEXT CHAPTERª!!!!! Thu Sep 06, 2012 8:33 pm | |
| Haha Haha no problem! I lule the third chapter. |
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Demonica Bishi Devoted Fantagian
Posts : 574 Join date : 2011-09-15 Age : 25 Location : woah nelly
| Subject: Re: ginger people my story by oliver.... THE NEXT CHAPTERª!!!!! Thu Sep 06, 2012 8:42 pm | |
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Relora Hero Fantagian
Posts : 6776 Join date : 2010-11-30 Age : 26 Location : Define "Location"
| Subject: Re: ginger people my story by oliver.... THE NEXT CHAPTERª!!!!! Thu Sep 06, 2012 8:55 pm | |
| I like that "...her eyes were cold like whispers..." that really caught my eye =3=
well done c: | |
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cupcakesrock Regular Fantagian
Posts : 238 Join date : 2011-09-10 Age : 24 Location : At your place,i'm actully at your door-just waiting
| Subject: Re: ginger people my story by oliver.... THE NEXT CHAPTERª!!!!! Thu Sep 06, 2012 10:41 pm | |
| Great story. Well I'll tell you still, your words need to be typed in correct and I don't undestand ehydo you put that phrase after everytime you make a new one. Needs improvement but great story. | |
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alex Moderator
Posts : 23507 Join date : 2010-08-10 Age : 24 Location : google maps
| Subject: Re: ginger people my story by oliver.... THE NEXT CHAPTERª!!!!! Fri Sep 07, 2012 8:22 am | |
| im crying this makes me sad i love it pls continue | |
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IM MELODY'S HACKER!!!! Featured User
Posts : 4132 Join date : 2011-06-01 Location : derp
| Subject: Re: ginger people my story by oliver.... THE NEXT CHAPTERª!!!!! Fri Sep 07, 2012 6:52 pm | |
| oh my gawd this is beautiful | |
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mich Hero Fantagian
Posts : 6190 Join date : 2012-06-02 Age : 21 Location : purgatory
| Subject: Re: ginger people my story by oliver.... THE NEXT CHAPTERª!!!!! Fri Sep 07, 2012 6:55 pm | |
| Gorgeoussss....Hilarious. | |
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Gymnastics 4 life Senior Fantagian
Posts : 420 Join date : 2011-10-21 Age : 24 Location : Oh my god dude, you just can't go asking where people live...
| Subject: Re: ginger people my story by oliver.... THE NEXT CHAPTERª!!!!! Fri Sep 07, 2012 7:27 pm | |
| very niceeee it's amazing c,: | |
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Usui Hero Fantagian
Posts : 5275 Join date : 2011-09-09 Age : 24 Location : Worldbuscus
| Subject: Re: ginger people my story by oliver.... THE NEXT CHAPTERª!!!!! Fri Sep 07, 2012 8:41 pm | |
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mich Hero Fantagian
Posts : 6190 Join date : 2012-06-02 Age : 21 Location : purgatory
| Subject: Re: ginger people my story by oliver.... THE NEXT CHAPTERª!!!!! Fri Sep 07, 2012 8:46 pm | |
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Mr.Noah Expert Fantagian
Posts : 2629 Join date : 2012-06-27 Age : 26 Location : New York
| Subject: Re: ginger people my story by oliver.... THE NEXT CHAPTERª!!!!! Sun Sep 09, 2012 4:38 pm | |
| I think its good.I don't get it though and the grammar is a little off so I don't understand but if you fixed it both it will be AWESOME! :] good story | |
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Flynn Legendary Fantagian
Posts : 12278 Join date : 2012-01-14 Age : 25 Location : The gallows
| Subject: Re: ginger people my story by oliver.... THE NEXT CHAPTERª!!!!! Mon Sep 10, 2012 6:21 am | |
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FruitCake Veteran Fantagian
Posts : 4126 Join date : 2011-05-24 Age : 21 Location : ♫
| Subject: Re: ginger people my story by oliver.... THE NEXT CHAPTERª!!!!! Mon Sep 10, 2012 3:00 pm | |
| My new favoriite story from oliver it made me tear up | |
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o Veteran Fantagian
Posts : 4270 Join date : 2011-11-11 Age : 23
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Marina Regular Fantagian
Posts : 101 Join date : 2012-01-02 Age : 110 Location : idk earth
| Subject: Re: ginger people my story by oliver.... THE NEXT CHAPTERª!!!!! Sun Sep 30, 2012 8:46 am | |
| I'm no expert at writing stories, but I think the grammar needs improvement. The spelling is good, sometimes there's a little bit of spelling mistakes. But the story itself is still excellent. (: | |
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