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 I can't write ;w;

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PostSubject: I can't write ;w;   Sat Oct 06, 2012 1:30 am

Spoiler:
 

All I can say is that I should be in bed by now.
Ahhh I wanna write books when I grow up so give me REAL feed back not its flawless.
You have no idea how frustrated I get at people at my school. Everyone is all like
"Its PERFECT YOU HAVE NO NEED TO CHANGE ANYTHING!"

Meh I'mma continue this, this is just a prologue.
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Cefie
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PostSubject: Re: I can't write ;w;   Sat Oct 06, 2012 1:39 am

Spoiler:
 

I think it's rather good right now, but I'd love to see what happens next. It's a pretty good start, though.
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PostSubject: Re: I can't write ;w;   Sat Oct 06, 2012 1:47 am

Cefie wrote:
Spoiler:
 

I think it's rather good right now, but I'd love to see what happens next. It's a pretty good start, though.
Thanks for the grammar correction! And thanks!
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SilverBell
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PostSubject: Re: I can't write ;w;   Sat Oct 06, 2012 1:48 am

Dark shadows flitted across the forest. The girl stared at her friend.
That's just not original. Every one uses dark shadows flitted across the forest.
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PostSubject: Re: I can't write ;w;   Sat Oct 06, 2012 10:38 am

Kaai Yuki wrote:
Dark shadows flitted across the forest. The girl stared at her friend.
That's just not original. Every one uses dark shadows flitted across the forest.
Derp derp of course. I was bored you got that little sis? XDD
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Cherry
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PostSubject: Re: I can't write ;w;   Sat Oct 06, 2012 10:43 am

Oh thats really good!

Just wondering why is Cefie's aavi an apple?
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Harry
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PostSubject: Re: I can't write ;w;   Sat Oct 06, 2012 10:47 am

This is good, but it would be even better if more description was used.
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PostSubject: Re: I can't write ;w;   Sat Oct 06, 2012 11:11 am

Thank you everyone!
I appreciate the critique and your , you people are MUCH better editors than half the kids at my school
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o
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PostSubject: Re: I can't write ;w;   Sat Oct 06, 2012 11:52 am

edits:

Spoiler:
 

i like your style, it really reminds me of Earnest Hemingway's style! as i was editing, i tried not to edit major parts of it, because i didn't want to change the style.

[[if you don't know who Earnest Hemingway is, he's a really famous writer who wrote short, concise sentences. if you read his writing, it's almost like every sentence is "a punch"; straight to the point.]]

i was really impressed with this piece! but just remember to keep proper grammar!
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PostSubject: Re: I can't write ;w;   Today at 2:19 pm

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I can't write ;w;
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