| | A little teensy bit of a story I wrote | |
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hopeful. Regular Fantagian
Posts : 145 Join date : 2012-06-08 Age : 23 Location : probably taking a bubble bath
| Subject: A little teensy bit of a story I wrote Thu Nov 28, 2013 12:10 am | |
| Hi everyone! This is a beginning of some story that has no name. I was wondering if I should finish it or trash it? Please note that I'm not a very experienced writer... - The story:
I guess you can say I'm average. Average looks, average smarts, average personality. Nothing special. I'm basically the extra in the movie. The girl that's just there to add to the mix. Just a filler. Just an extra touch.
That's pretty much what I'm going for. To just be normal. I straighten my hair. I wear makeup. I'm pretty much, well, ordinary.
Unfortunately, my name says otherwise.
Bird brain. Tweetie. Big bird. I've heard them all. What do you expect when your name is Robyn? I ask my mom, who has a part time job teaching yoga at the Relaxation Station, where the heck she got such a name. She tells me the same thing everytime: "When you were born, and the nurse handed you to me, I saw something absolutely breathtaking. Your eyes were a piercing blue, like a robin's egg. And holding you in my arms, I knew that it was right to name you that." Little did she know that my eyes turned out to be brown.
Hi guys! I wrote a few more paragraphs today so check them out! Oh and, please list some title ideas for my story. I know, I know, I haven't written enough for there to be a title yet, but it's bothering me how this story has no name :/ Anyway, enjoy! - Part 2:
Yep, that's my mom alright. She can find a deep, inspirational meaning to just about anything. The other day, it was raining like crazy and she was driving me to the orthodontist(I was getting my braces tightened. Fun stuff.). I was staring at the raindrops as they trickled down the car window when out of the blue she told me, "You know, rain is like tears. The clouds must be crying because they are mourning the loss of another cloud. Then, when the sun comes out and a rainbow is formed, the clouds have moved on." No, my mom has no past of mental illness. That's just her personality. She wonders out loud. And thanks to her, I can't help but feel sorry for the clouds when it rains. As for my dad, he isn't around much. He's in the army. I haven't seen him in person for a long time. In fact, it'll be a year in eleven days. But we Skype and FaceTime at least once a week. We talk about school, sports, and our favorite TV show, Dr. Who. I give him summaries of each episode, since he can't watch them. People always treat us differently because of our family. They leave gift baskets on our doorstep, they tell us that we're 'in their prayers'. It's sweet I guess, but it gets irritating. We're doing fine financially. My older brother Nick babysits for the filthy-rich family down the street, which gives us loads of cash, and my mom's job earns a decent amount too. Emotionally, my brother and I are doing okay. Mom gets a little cranky, and sometimes I catch her watching The Notebook in her bedroom. But most days, she's the calm, happy woman that I know and love.
Last edited by nutella on Thu Nov 28, 2013 7:43 pm; edited 1 time in total | |
| | | Cefie Dedicated Fantagian
Posts : 1305 Join date : 2012-06-12 Age : 24 Location : Oh no! I've gone missing. Can you find me?
| Subject: Re: A little teensy bit of a story I wrote Thu Nov 28, 2013 12:59 am | |
| I think you should continue it - I've read a ton of books, and the part about being normal comes up too often in my opinion, but that bit about the eyes is super funny. : D
Maybe it's just me, but I don't think there's anything wrong with the name Robyn, and I actually think it's pretty. : x | |
| | | hopeful. Regular Fantagian
Posts : 145 Join date : 2012-06-08 Age : 23 Location : probably taking a bubble bath
| Subject: Re: A little teensy bit of a story I wrote Thu Nov 28, 2013 11:57 am | |
| Thank you for your opinion I don't think there's anything wrong with the name either, but I couldn't come up with anything else. :/ | |
| | | Rue Expert Fantagian
Posts : 2067 Join date : 2013-01-13 Age : 21 Location : england
| Subject: Re: A little teensy bit of a story I wrote Thu Nov 28, 2013 1:33 pm | |
| That's amazing I'm rubbish at writing stories I think you should keep it. | |
| | | o Veteran Fantagian
Posts : 4270 Join date : 2011-11-11 Age : 23
| Subject: Re: A little teensy bit of a story I wrote Thu Nov 28, 2013 3:41 pm | |
| you're a good writer! the verb tense is consistent, and i don't see any flaws in you grammar. there's nothing exciting or interesting plot-wise yet, but that might just be because you only have a few paragraphs. | |
| | | Officer Number Two Loyal Fantagian
Posts : 1781 Join date : 2013-03-02 Age : 34 Location : Interrogating a Gazelle
| Subject: Re: A little teensy bit of a story I wrote Thu Nov 28, 2013 4:39 pm | |
| LOL
I love the eyes part c:
It sounds like an interesting story! | |
| | | hopeful. Regular Fantagian
Posts : 145 Join date : 2012-06-08 Age : 23 Location : probably taking a bubble bath
| Subject: Re: A little teensy bit of a story I wrote Thu Nov 28, 2013 7:45 pm | |
| Hey guys I wrote a few more paragraphs so please read them! I think I'm going to continue this story and I'm going to put the new parts on this thread so stay tuned | |
| | | Miranda2 Dedicated Fantagian
Posts : 1319 Join date : 2012-08-25 Age : 23 Location : My own little corner of the world
| Subject: Re: A little teensy bit of a story I wrote Thu Nov 28, 2013 8:09 pm | |
| Keep writting! This is good. | |
| | | saratheberra Regular Fantagian
Posts : 142 Join date : 2013-11-27 Age : 22 Location : (i used to be Cilan!)
| Subject: Re: A little teensy bit of a story I wrote Thu Nov 28, 2013 8:42 pm | |
| If this were really a book I'd like to read it! | |
| | | Cefie Dedicated Fantagian
Posts : 1305 Join date : 2012-06-12 Age : 24 Location : Oh no! I've gone missing. Can you find me?
| Subject: Re: A little teensy bit of a story I wrote Thu Nov 28, 2013 9:51 pm | |
| Two teachers reminded me of this, that it's spelled "all right" and "alright" is slang or something somebody says. I think my teachers are stupid, though.
to the orthodontist.(I was getting my braces tightened. Fun stuff.)
Pretty good. I'd read a little more if it was a book. c: | |
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