Isolated. ( A Story By DBMD.)

My vision is a blur. Blobs of colours, slight blues and yellows, fill my barely opened eyes. Between my numb fingers and toes, I can feel soft, crisp sand. It tickles in between my toes; giving me more of a reason to get up. I try to lift my tired arms, but I cannot. I am unable to lift them; they feel as if they are paralyzed. With a trembling hand, I touch my lips and discover they're cold. Water drips down my cold face, the salty taste filling my mouth. I gather all my strength to sit up, and to feel, touch my sand-filled hair. I look around, and for miles I see a beach, with luscious palm trees and crystal-coloured water. I see tiny fish swimming rapidly through the waters. A few inches away from me, I see a bright yellow piece of something sticking out of the deep sand. I reach for it, pulling it out and discover my hair ribbon. I curl it up into a ball, and stuff it into the torn pocket of my pink skirt. My yellow tang top is soaking wet, and I have no shoes or socks. All I have is my clothing and myself. Nothing out. No water. No food. No animals. No Other People. Just me. Just by myself.

Just me.


Just myself.

Just so you guys no, she wasn't in a plane crash. I get the idea you're thinking that? Her and her parents went to and island resort, and something happened and her parents are gone? -______________-

Try to vary sentence types and paragraph lengths, don't make one big paragraph.

Other than that I like it so far, I think you should continue it!

yeah this should be continued as right now, there's no plot happening, just the setting. but like aisha said, make it into multiple paragraphs.

It's nice I guess, very detailed, but... Really unoriginal, sorry.

Yeah, listen to Hop and Aisha about forming paragraphs.
The detail is great, but so many people have done this story theme before so yeah...

CottonCandy wrote:

It's nice I guess, very detailed, but... Really unoriginal, sorry.

It's not about a girl who was in a crash. -_-