| THE STORY OF LUCKY BOB PLZ READ | |
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+3Karen coolkat1124 juliajuljulia 7 posters |
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juliajuljulia Loyal Fantagian
Posts : 1516 Join date : 2010-07-08 Age : 29 Location : Mars
| Subject: THE STORY OF LUCKY BOB PLZ READ Sun Aug 22, 2010 6:25 pm | |
| Here's my story of lucky bob tell me wat u think and plz rate i submitted it to the writers den and hope it wins lol so read the spoilers The Story of Lucky Bob By Juliajuljulia - Spoiler:
Once upon a time there was a man named Bob. He was not born in Fantage but was born in another world. He was sent for one reason, to find out what thing there were in the universe other than his world. One day in his rocket he came across Fantage. Fantage was a great place with great people. Everyone was friendly and no one was mean he considered himself lucky to find Fantage. He startted to call himself Lucky Bob for finding this extraordinary world. He decided to stay because he believed it was more fun with all the games like Staries, Magic Pop, Galaxy Hero, and especially Bubble Bug. He loved the Forest with his favorite games. Lucky Bob decided he should live in the Forest. He ended up building a shack called Lucky Bob's Trading. At Lucky Bob's Trading Fantagians could sell things and earn some quicks stars. Lucky Bob coming to Fantage was one of the best things that ever happened!
EDIT: im changin the story to make it more interesting! ps the chhange is in the spoiler - Spoiler:
Once upon a time on the planet named Hargon, which was a barren dry planet sort of like mars. One day Bob was in his office working his boring barren life, there was an earthquake. On our scale, a 9.4. Everything was destroyed, and everyone was injured except Bob and his sister Mary. They were considered lucky for surviving uninjured, so they're new names were Lucky Bob and Lucky Mary. They decided to leave Hargon forever with its earthquakes, tornadoes, and surprisingly, once in a while, a tsunami. He and his sister were the best of friends, sharing secrets, adventuring, and having fun. While going looking for a new planet to live on, Mary got sick. Unfortunately, she passed away. Lucky Bob (not really lucky now) stopped at the next planet he saw which was Fantage. He went to the citizenship office to become a citizen they almost declined the name Bob, he was using that name since his sister passed away. He decided that he could use the name Lucky Bob, and he became citizen with the name Lucky Bob. IN Fantage he loved all the games, especially bubble bug so he made a shack in the Forest next to Bubble Bug. He made it in memory of his sister. He also decorated it like his home planet so he would never forget where he came from.
PLEASE RATE MY STORY.. BOTH... AND I APPRECIATE CRITICISM
Last edited by juliajuljulia on Mon Aug 23, 2010 7:05 am; edited 1 time in total | |
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coolkat1124 Regular Fantagian
Posts : 192 Join date : 2010-07-21 Age : 28 Location : doesnt matter ;)
| Subject: Re: THE STORY OF LUCKY BOB PLZ READ Sun Aug 22, 2010 6:45 pm | |
| ehh 6 / 10 and lots of errors and stuff but good for your first time | |
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juliajuljulia Loyal Fantagian
Posts : 1516 Join date : 2010-07-08 Age : 29 Location : Mars
| Subject: Re: THE STORY OF LUCKY BOB PLZ READ Sun Aug 22, 2010 6:46 pm | |
| thnx a lot coolkat sarcastic but thnx for commmentin i guess | |
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Karen Former Staff
Posts : 1530 Join date : 2010-01-29 Age : 24 Location : unicorns
| Subject: Re: THE STORY OF LUCKY BOB PLZ READ Sun Aug 22, 2010 7:44 pm | |
| 8/10. Kinda bland, but I like the story. It's sort of easy to guess what happens, but it's still good | |
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juliajuljulia Loyal Fantagian
Posts : 1516 Join date : 2010-07-08 Age : 29 Location : Mars
| Subject: Re: THE STORY OF LUCKY BOB PLZ READ Sun Aug 22, 2010 7:46 pm | |
| thnx ric i appreciate it do u think i have a chance of gettin it mentioned? | |
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Forever Forgotten Senior Fantagian
Posts : 428 Join date : 2010-07-22 Age : 27 Location : Blasting around the universe with Kirby
| Subject: Re: THE STORY OF LUCKY BOB PLZ READ Sun Aug 22, 2010 7:46 pm | |
| Wow great story! | |
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juliajuljulia Loyal Fantagian
Posts : 1516 Join date : 2010-07-08 Age : 29 Location : Mars
| Subject: Re: THE STORY OF LUCKY BOB PLZ READ Sun Aug 22, 2010 7:47 pm | |
| thnx so much do u think i have a chance of winnin? | |
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Valval Loyal Fantagian
Posts : 1994 Join date : 2010-01-26 Location : rainbow road♥
| Subject: Re: THE STORY OF LUCKY BOB PLZ READ Sun Aug 22, 2010 10:02 pm | |
| I agree with ric, its a bit bland and not much plot..
I'd rate a 7/10 (im being honest, 'kay?) | |
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juliajuljulia Loyal Fantagian
Posts : 1516 Join date : 2010-07-08 Age : 29 Location : Mars
| Subject: Re: THE STORY OF LUCKY BOB PLZ READ Sun Aug 22, 2010 10:09 pm | |
| i was lookin at the entries that won and they just made fantage look good so i just did that and maybe ill write another | |
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Bloobu Dedicated Fantagian
Posts : 1100 Join date : 2010-06-05 Age : 24
| Subject: Re: THE STORY OF LUCKY BOB PLZ READ Mon Aug 23, 2010 5:46 am | |
| its all like happy happy and not really a plot so i would say make a plot where umm bob gets robbed? something like that XD but better 8/10 overall and for trying | |
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juliajuljulia Loyal Fantagian
Posts : 1516 Join date : 2010-07-08 Age : 29 Location : Mars
| Subject: Re: THE STORY OF LUCKY BOB PLZ READ Mon Aug 23, 2010 6:23 am | |
| fine maybe ill ad part where he gets robbed | |
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TaylorFox00 Senior Fantagian
Posts : 296 Join date : 2010-09-08 Age : 23 Location : Sitting in front of Media Molecule's office until they release Little Big Planet 2.
| Subject: Re: THE STORY OF LUCKY BOB PLZ READ Mon Sep 13, 2010 4:57 pm | |
| I would say 8/10 for the second one, I didnt read the first one. | |
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| THE STORY OF LUCKY BOB PLZ READ | |
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