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| | Story made by Noah~Odd Adventure |  |
| | | Author | Message |
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Mr.Noah
Expert Fantagian
Posts : 2629
Join date : 2012-06-27
Age : 27
Location : New York
| Subject: Story made by Noah~Odd Adventure  Mon Jan 07, 2013 8:07 pm | |
| 2nd story ever woohoo Okay lets start with the Prologue: - Spoiler:
I hate my day,and I hate zombies.I know that sounds prejudiced.I'm sure some zombies love to cuddle under the blanket and pet their cats.But,you wouldn't want a zombie popping in when your half naked and have Gatorade in your hair.Let me not get a head of myself and give you a proper introduction,My name is Jamie Miller.I am 16 years old and im chilling in a bathroom stall with a zombie.Yes,a dead zombie.You might think I am totally physco,but I had no choice!I mean common!But,let me tell you how this began!
Chapter 1:The cemetery - Spoiler:
I ran downstairs grabbing my jacket and headed to the Morgue.You might ask ''Why is a 16 year old girl heading to a Morgue''? Well,I work there.I've been there since year 05 and I've gotten use to the fowl stench of dead bodies and the heatness that causes my armpits to smell like a rat died.I have a friend name Melissa who is a science-geek we work a lot together and even though shes a 9th grade from the Upper School,we've gotten to know each other over the Summer.Back to the point Jamie!Oh right,well I walked down to Morgue going down 3 floors into the ground.I grab my lab coat and head into the room.Its weird no one questions me ''Why are you still here Jamie''? ever since my mum died,they act like I am welcomed here.But they probably wanna kick me out ASAP but don't wanna be rude.
To be continued MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA
Chapter 2 - Spoiler:
I get interrupted in my thoughts as Melissa comes walking in smiling a mile wide,me the confused one (as always) makes a questioning look ''Where going on a trip''! Melissa said squealing.I smiled weakly, a lot of questions were running through my head when Dr.Clide walked in perky as usually.''Hello Jamie and Mel where going to an abandoned cemetery'' Clide said nodding his head,I shruttered at the thought of seeing Graves,& creep names all so over-whelming.Dr.Clide must have saw what I did and he sighed ''I promise you,there won't be any nightmares'' He said sulking like a 5yr old.I looked at him and agreed to go...not expecting what awaits for me at the Cemetery!
Last edited by Noah on Tue Jan 08, 2013 5:25 pm; edited 1 time in total | |
| | | | Daisy
Veteran Fantagian
Posts : 3369
Join date : 2011-12-22
Age : 24
Location : In Hell, With Sebastian..
| | Subject: Re: Story made by Noah~Odd Adventure Tue Jan 08, 2013 5:31 am | |
| Its pretty nice~
Well, Hope to read more~ | |
| | | | Mr.Noah
Expert Fantagian
Posts : 2629
Join date : 2012-06-27
Age : 27
Location : New York
| | Subject: Re: Story made by Noah~Odd Adventure Tue Jan 08, 2013 5:15 pm | |
| - Miku wrote:
- Its pretty nice~
Well, Hope to read more~ Thank youuu  | |
| | | | Primrose
Ultimate Fantagian
Posts : 8311
Join date : 2011-08-27
Age : 21
Location : District 12
| | Subject: Re: Story made by Noah~Odd Adventure Tue Jan 08, 2013 5:23 pm | |
| Its good but you need to improve the grammar and a little of past, present and future tense maybe.
Just to be clear. Is it supposed to be the serious kind of writing or like if the girl (Jamie) is writing it on her diary? | |
| | | | Mr.Noah
Expert Fantagian
Posts : 2629
Join date : 2012-06-27
Age : 27
Location : New York
| | Subject: Re: Story made by Noah~Odd Adventure Tue Jan 08, 2013 5:26 pm | |
| - Lin wrote:
- Its good but you need to improve the grammar and a little of past, present and future tense maybe.
Just to be clear. Is it supposed to be the serious kind of writing or like if the girl (Jamie) is writing it on her diary? 1)I don't care about my grammar as long as you can read it its fine with me. 2)Yes,shes writing in her diary telling us her experiences, | |
| | | | Primrose
Ultimate Fantagian
Posts : 8311
Join date : 2011-08-27
Age : 21
Location : District 12
| | Subject: Re: Story made by Noah~Odd Adventure Tue Jan 08, 2013 5:35 pm | |
| - Noah wrote:
- Lin wrote:
- Its good but you need to improve the grammar and a little of past, present and future tense maybe.
Just to be clear. Is it supposed to be the serious kind of writing or like if the girl (Jamie) is writing it on her diary?
1)I don't care about my grammar as long as you can read it its fine with me.
2)Yes,shes writing in her diary telling us her experiences, You should work on your grammar though, since I'm a grammar freak and its quite annoying when I read bad grammar. | |
| | | | Mr.Noah
Expert Fantagian
Posts : 2629
Join date : 2012-06-27
Age : 27
Location : New York
| | Subject: Re: Story made by Noah~Odd Adventure Tue Jan 08, 2013 5:36 pm | |
| - Lin wrote:
- Noah wrote:
- Lin wrote:
- Its good but you need to improve the grammar and a little of past, present and future tense maybe.
Just to be clear. Is it supposed to be the serious kind of writing or like if the girl (Jamie) is writing it on her diary?
1)I don't care about my grammar as long as you can read it its fine with me.
2)Yes,shes writing in her diary telling us her experiences,
You should work on your grammar though, since I'm a grammar freak and its quite annoying when I read bad grammar. I know,but not everyone will have great grammar and you're gonna have to learn to coope with it because (my opinion) it annoys me when people say ''hey fix your grammar''! like really..I can learn on my own But thanks Anyway? | |
| | | | Primrose
Ultimate Fantagian
Posts : 8311
Join date : 2011-08-27
Age : 21
Location : District 12
| | Subject: Re: Story made by Noah~Odd Adventure Tue Jan 08, 2013 5:38 pm | |
| - Noah wrote:
- Lin wrote:
- Noah wrote:
- Lin wrote:
- Its good but you need to improve the grammar and a little of past, present and future tense maybe.
Just to be clear. Is it supposed to be the serious kind of writing or like if the girl (Jamie) is writing it on her diary?
1)I don't care about my grammar as long as you can read it its fine with me.
2)Yes,shes writing in her diary telling us her experiences,
You should work on your grammar though, since I'm a grammar freak and its quite annoying when I read bad grammar.
I know,but not everyone will have great grammar and you're gonna have to learn to coope with it because (my opinion) it annoys me when people say ''hey fix your grammar''! like really..I can learn on my own
But thanks Anyway? I'm saying it nicely, and I'm just telling you this to help you. The story is a little confusing though. | |
| | | | Relora
Hero Fantagian
Posts : 6776
Join date : 2010-11-30
Age : 27
Location : Define "Location"
| | Subject: Re: Story made by Noah~Odd Adventure Tue Jan 08, 2013 5:38 pm | |
| - Lin wrote:
1)I don't care about my grammar as long as you can read it its fine with me.
Grammar, syntax, and punctuation are very important in writing though. Trust me once you get the basics down you'll already see a major difference in the sophistication of your writing. But nice story! I find it very entertaining to read :3 | |
| | | | Mr.Noah
Expert Fantagian
Posts : 2629
Join date : 2012-06-27
Age : 27
Location : New York
| | Subject: Re: Story made by Noah~Odd Adventure Tue Jan 08, 2013 8:29 pm | |
| - Relora wrote:
- Lin wrote:
1)I don't care about my grammar as long as you can read it its fine with me.
Grammar, syntax, and punctuation are very important in writing though. Trust me once you get the basics down you'll already see a major difference in the sophistication of your writing.
But nice story! I find it very entertaining to read :3 At least someone finds it interesting! I know my grammar,sucks since I am not from America.I am from the UK. | |
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