~Secret love~ a love story.

Nice! But you shouldve added that you were poor in a prologue or introduction. And what happened to the boyfriend?

pokeranger wrote:

Nice! But you shouldve added that you were poor in a prologue or introduction. And what happened to the boyfriend?

Okay, In the 1st chapter it says that they live in a cottage. A cottage is basically a 1 or 2 room house.

Trevor? Well, he broke up with Julia since her parents would never let her out of the house. Also, he was a jerk.

I NEED MOARRRR!

I liked the fact that you used a bit more description. Can't wait for Chapter 5! :3

terrficc!

Nakira wrote:

2008sarah wrote:

Nice, note; you mispelled spirit at the end of chapter four. You could make your chapters alot longer, the detail was quite nice in chapter four though. About the English/British accent, I dunno. You changed some words up to make it so, but honestly I'd read a book or two with british characters before trying to write in that accent. They say alot of things differently.

Wicked,Mum,Wot wot!, Cheerio, Chaps, and they always talk perfectly. (as in you can just hear the perfect grammar in their voices, at least with some.)

Yeah, like that. Also, Brits eat mostly the same stuff as Americans, so they do eat sushi.
Here's some British slang phrases:

Nang => cool
Mouldies => Parents
Ledge => Someone who is greatly admired; a legend
Clappin => out of date
Phat-free => uncool, rubbish
Shizzle => someone you really admire, as in “she’s a shiz”
Gratz => Thanks
Hench => a tough boy, as in a henchman
Cringe => embarrassment, as in “your parents are a cringe”
Antwacky => unstylish or old-fashioned
Cotch down => hang out, chill out or sleep
Klingon => younger children, like irritable young brothers
Flat roofin’ => overworked at school, stressed
Za => abbreviation for pizza
Fudge => a really stupid person, derived from the grades they might be expected to get in their exams: F, U, D, G, E
Zep => a yob or lower class person
Oudish => very cool, excellent
Tin-grin => Someone who wears braces

Here's a slang guide for us Americans: http://www.effingpot.com/slang.shtml

EDIT: BTW, your American characters don't have to use this slang. X3

i havent EVER heard any of those slang before

my advice for british accent is to be a bit posh?? if you dont want an accent then just talk normally, after all, both america and britain speak english just a few different words example,

trainers= sneakers
mum= mom

they're all i can think of at the moment xD

still good luck with the accent and i absolutley LOVE your story

bloobunny99 wrote:

Nakira wrote:

2008sarah wrote:

Nice, note; you mispelled spirit at the end of chapter four. You could make your chapters alot longer, the detail was quite nice in chapter four though. About the English/British accent, I dunno. You changed some words up to make it so, but honestly I'd read a book or two with british characters before trying to write in that accent. They say alot of things differently.

Wicked,Mum,Wot wot!, Cheerio, Chaps, and they always talk perfectly. (as in you can just hear the perfect grammar in their voices, at least with some.)

Yeah, like that. Also, Brits eat mostly the same stuff as Americans, so they do eat sushi.
Here's some British slang phrases:

Nang => cool
Mouldies => Parents
Ledge => Someone who is greatly admired; a legend
Clappin => out of date
Phat-free => uncool, rubbish
Shizzle => someone you really admire, as in “she’s a shiz”
Gratz => Thanks
Hench => a tough boy, as in a henchman
Cringe => embarrassment, as in “your parents are a cringe”
Antwacky => unstylish or old-fashioned
Cotch down => hang out, chill out or sleep
Klingon => younger children, like irritable young brothers
Flat roofin’ => overworked at school, stressed
Za => abbreviation for pizza
Fudge => a really stupid person, derived from the grades they might be expected to get in their exams: F, U, D, G, E
Zep => a yob or lower class person
Oudish => very cool, excellent
Tin-grin => Someone who wears braces

Here's a slang guide for us Americans: http://www.effingpot.com/slang.shtml

EDIT: BTW, your American characters don't have to use this slang. X3

i havent EVER heard any of those slang before

my advice for british accent is to be a bit posh?? if you dont want an accent then just talk normally, after all, both america and britain speak english just a few different words example,

trainers= sneakers
mum= mom

they're all i can think of at the moment xD

Really? Wow, I fail. XDDD I recommend listening to the actual Brit here, bloobunny. ^.^'''
still good luck with the accent and i absolutley LOVE your story

i love ur stories!!!! cant wait for next chapters!!

u dont ave to use slang if u dont no much, its fine as it is. (:

I love your stories make the next chapter soon your stories are awesome

Hey guys [:

Sorry I haven't written a chapter in forever~!

I promise I'll write more soon x3

OK! x3 Havent seen a lot in a while. x3

Chapter 5 is posted [:

"Get a room!"

Haha, I love that part. XD

Chapter 7 ish posted

Good chapter, I'd like to see some more thoughts descriptions etc, because there's a lot of dialogue. Can't wait for more! :3

The next chapter will come out soon.

But, I'm still writing it x3

Nakira wrote:

bloobunny99 wrote:

Nakira wrote:

2008sarah wrote:

Nice, note; you mispelled spirit at the end of chapter four. You could make your chapters alot longer, the detail was quite nice in chapter four though. About the English/British accent, I dunno. You changed some words up to make it so, but honestly I'd read a book or two with british characters before trying to write in that accent. They say alot of things differently.

Wicked,Mum,Wot wot!, Cheerio, Chaps, and they always talk perfectly. (as in you can just hear the perfect grammar in their voices, at least with some.)

Yeah, like that. Also, Brits eat mostly the same stuff as Americans, so they do eat sushi.
Here's some British slang phrases:

Nang => cool
Mouldies => Parents
Ledge => Someone who is greatly admired; a legend
Clappin => out of date
Phat-free => uncool, rubbish
Shizzle => someone you really admire, as in “she’s a shiz”
Gratz => Thanks
Hench => a tough boy, as in a henchman
Cringe => embarrassment, as in “your parents are a cringe”
Antwacky => unstylish or old-fashioned
Cotch down => hang out, chill out or sleep
Klingon => younger children, like irritable young brothers
Flat roofin’ => overworked at school, stressed
Za => abbreviation for pizza
Fudge => a really stupid person, derived from the grades they might be expected to get in their exams: F, U, D, G, E
Zep => a yob or lower class person
Oudish => very cool, excellent
Tin-grin => Someone who wears braces

Here's a slang guide for us Americans: http://www.effingpot.com/slang.shtml

EDIT: BTW, your American characters don't have to use this slang. X3

i havent EVER heard any of those slang before

my advice for british accent is to be a bit posh?? if you dont want an accent then just talk normally, after all, both america and britain speak english just a few different words example,

trainers= sneakers
mum= mom

they're all i can think of at the moment xD

Really? Wow, I fail. XDDD I recommend listening to the actual Brit here, bloobunny. ^.^'''
still good luck with the accent and i absolutley LOVE your story

U should hear Selena Gomez do a british accent it's so funny x3 anyways wait wait for next chapters =3

I iz wantingz moarz!! Great story! I read it with my best Harry Potter accents!!!