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 Today- A Poem

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Oliver
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Oliver

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PostSubject: Today- A Poem   Today- A Poem EmptyThu Feb 10, 2011 10:51 pm

This is a poem I wrote for writing class.. Im quite proud of it.
If anyone wants to critique it, please do!

Today-A Poem:
 

Though the meaning is quite obvious, what do you think is happening?

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kiki424
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PostSubject: Re: Today- A Poem   Today- A Poem EmptyFri Feb 11, 2011 5:08 pm

I believe the correct term is saw not see on the 3rd line of the poem. Other than it its pretty good :3
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Makkine
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PostSubject: Re: Today- A Poem   Today- A Poem EmptyFri Feb 11, 2011 5:15 pm

kiki424 wrote:
I believe the correct term is saw not see on the 3rd line of the poem. Other than it its pretty good :3
No, it's in present tense.

As for the poem itself, I love it, but I think you might want to cut down on the ellipses.
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sahilin
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sahilin

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PostSubject: Re: Today- A Poem   Today- A Poem EmptyFri Feb 11, 2011 6:08 pm

I love it! I like the meaning of the poem. But the poem sounds so sad and depressing. In the second statsa it has 6 lines it is supposed to be 5 that is what i learned in language arts class last year.
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Oliver
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PostSubject: Re: Today- A Poem   Today- A Poem EmptyFri Feb 11, 2011 6:52 pm

sahilin wrote:
I love it! I like the meaning of the poem. But the poem sounds so sad and depressing. In the second statsa it has 6 lines it is supposed to be 5 that is what i learned in language arts class last year.

Its free verse, Its not supposed to have a specific order.

@Kiki: Its in present tense.
@Makki: AHGAHAG ELLIPSES ARE WONDERFUL D: NO just kidding.. But.. Yeah.

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Monsterbunny
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PostSubject: Re: Today- A Poem   Today- A Poem EmptyFri Feb 11, 2011 9:12 pm

i dont get it at the end...
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Relora
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PostSubject: Re: Today- A Poem   Today- A Poem EmptySat Feb 12, 2011 7:18 am

Nice poem

I never really was in poetry though so what i said means alot...
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Monsterbunny
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PostSubject: Re: Today- A Poem   Today- A Poem EmptySat Feb 12, 2011 11:39 am

omg i ove it(now i understand it...fire and ice is my favorite one from robert frost

Some Say The World Will End In Fire,
Some Say In Ice,
From What Ive Tasted In Desire,
I Hold With Those Who Favor Fire
But If It Had To Perish Twice,
I Think I Know Enough Of Hate
To Say That For Destruction Ice
Is Also Great And Would Suffice
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Oliver
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PostSubject: Re: Today- A Poem   Today- A Poem EmptySat Feb 12, 2011 12:50 pm

mjmjrocks05 wrote:
omg i ove it(now i understand it...fire and ice is my favorite one from robert frost

Some Say The World Will End In Fire,
Some Say In Ice,
From What Ive Tasted In Desire,
I Hold With Those Who Favor Fire
But If It Had To Perish Twice,
I Think I Know Enough Of Hate
To Say That For Destruction Ice
Is Also Great And Would Suffice

Ooh! I love Robert Frost!

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Monsterbunny
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PostSubject: Re: Today- A Poem   Today- A Poem EmptyMon May 16, 2011 3:01 pm

cool!
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