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 My new poem

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mayanm
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Posts : 2088
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Age : 25
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PostSubject: My new poem   My new poem Icon_minitimeTue Jul 19, 2011 8:30 am

Hi guys!! I got this poem and I want to see what you think of it:

Dancing Trees

The trees were swaying in the rain,
near the hill, right down the lane.
There was no sight of anyone,
because their jobs and the day was done.
Their leaves were noisily rustling,
very queer in the usually bustling
city, now a silent landscape
when with the stars, the sky was draped.
The place was now silent and serene,
now a very pretty scene.
There begun a soft, musical tune,
so with the trees, danced the moon.

So, please rate it from 1 to 10 and tell me what you think and how I can improve it!
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Pommu-pon
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Pommu-pon


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Join date : 2011-05-09
Age : 26
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PostSubject: Re: My new poem   My new poem Icon_minitimeTue Jul 19, 2011 8:34 am

I suck at poems if you ask me, so I don't know how you could improve that X'D

I think it's really interesting and inspiring! 9/10 ^.^
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mayanm
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Posts : 2088
Join date : 2011-05-14
Age : 25
Location : Noitacol. It's a location all right!

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PostSubject: Re: My new poem   My new poem Icon_minitimeTue Jul 19, 2011 8:36 am

Ha ha, thanks! but I seriously see some fault in that
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Katie_Forever
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Katie_Forever


Posts : 1687
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Age : 26
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PostSubject: Re: My new poem   My new poem Icon_minitimeTue Jul 19, 2011 10:19 am

10/10. thats really good. xD I dont have any advice. I can hardly find 2 words that rhyme when I want them to... Smile
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mayanm
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Posts : 2088
Join date : 2011-05-14
Age : 25
Location : Noitacol. It's a location all right!

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PostSubject: Re: My new poem   My new poem Icon_minitimeTue Jul 19, 2011 10:32 am

ha ha, thanks katie!
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-♥Sweet19971♥-
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-♥Sweet19971♥-


Posts : 2042
Join date : 2011-05-11
Age : 27
Location : Find me :p

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PostSubject: Re: My new poem   My new poem Icon_minitimeTue Jul 19, 2011 10:56 am

WoOow ... I Like It Very Much ... Co0ol >.<
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mayanm
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Posts : 2088
Join date : 2011-05-14
Age : 25
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PostSubject: Re: My new poem   My new poem Icon_minitimeSat Jul 23, 2011 5:50 am

thx a lot guys!
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IM MELODY'S HACKER!!!!
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PostSubject: Re: My new poem   My new poem Icon_minitimeSat Jul 23, 2011 6:07 am

it's pretty good! Very Happy awesome job
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mayanm
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Age : 25
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PostSubject: Re: My new poem   My new poem Icon_minitimeSat Jul 23, 2011 6:36 am

thanks, melody!
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IM MELODY'S HACKER!!!!
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Posts : 4132
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PostSubject: Re: My new poem   My new poem Icon_minitimeSat Jul 23, 2011 6:41 am

no problems i love writing poems too Very Happy
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