Fantage Forum
Welcome to the Fantage Forum.
Fantage Forum
Welcome to the Fantage Forum.


Fantage Cheats, Secrets, Glitches, Info & Help.
 
HomeSearchRegisterLog in


 

 Poem: Rain

Go down 
+2
FruitCake
John_Rocks
6 posters
AuthorMessage
John_Rocks
Regular Fantagian
John_Rocks


Posts : 153
Join date : 2011-10-02
Age : 73
Location : BOING

Poem: Rain Empty
PostSubject: Poem: Rain   Poem: Rain Icon_minitimeSun Oct 02, 2011 12:37 pm

The days going by are getting in the way

of the new morning i'd found at last. It wasn't "next'' that i was headed toward,but " bygone " that I was always chasing after My incessant merciless memories don't seem likely to forgive me. It may not be long before my turmoil spills out down cheeks wearied by my fumbling about. Will the rain ever stop? I've been cold for such a long time. Why dose the rain choose me? Can I wrap myself up in it? The rain is unrelenting and it's still coming down, but tenderly under a umbrella,we share our warmth as we huddle close.


Poem: Rain Gallery Poem: Rain La I made it for pikachu160 Hope you all and pikachu160 like it!
Back to top Go down
FruitCake
Veteran Fantagian
FruitCake


Posts : 4126
Join date : 2011-05-24
Age : 22
Location :

Poem: Rain Empty
PostSubject: Re: Poem: Rain   Poem: Rain Icon_minitimeSun Oct 02, 2011 12:39 pm

cool poem about rain
Back to top Go down
http://www.musicjams.forumotion.com
kateyperry221
Senior Fantagian
kateyperry221


Posts : 470
Join date : 2011-04-13
Age : 25
Location : Home.

Poem: Rain Empty
PostSubject: Re: Poem: Rain   Poem: Rain Icon_minitimeSun Oct 02, 2011 12:41 pm

I am so proud of how you did it!!
But some how i kind of found it a bit hard to read??? confused
Even so i really loved it!!!
Back to top Go down
John_Rocks
Regular Fantagian
John_Rocks


Posts : 153
Join date : 2011-10-02
Age : 73
Location : BOING

Poem: Rain Empty
PostSubject: Re: Poem: Rain   Poem: Rain Icon_minitimeSun Oct 02, 2011 12:46 pm

Thank yu!! Poem: Rain Excitedlaplz

MOAR POEMS! Poem: Rain Typerhappy
Back to top Go down
alex
Moderator
Moderator
alex


Posts : 23507
Join date : 2010-08-10
Age : 25
Location : google maps

Poem: Rain Empty
PostSubject: Re: Poem: Rain   Poem: Rain Icon_minitimeSun Oct 02, 2011 12:47 pm

It's okay, but kinda hard to read xP
8/10
Back to top Go down
Blackrose
Hero Fantagian
Blackrose


Posts : 7338
Join date : 2010-07-20

Poem: Rain Empty
PostSubject: Re: Poem: Rain   Poem: Rain Icon_minitimeSun Oct 02, 2011 12:50 pm

pretty good and nice try on the effort scale but i agree with Ani....
Back to top Go down
John_Rocks
Regular Fantagian
John_Rocks


Posts : 153
Join date : 2011-10-02
Age : 73
Location : BOING

Poem: Rain Empty
PostSubject: Re: Poem: Rain   Poem: Rain Icon_minitimeSun Oct 02, 2011 12:51 pm

How is it hard to read...Poem: Rain Broken9999
Back to top Go down
kateyperry221
Senior Fantagian
kateyperry221


Posts : 470
Join date : 2011-04-13
Age : 25
Location : Home.

Poem: Rain Empty
PostSubject: Re: Poem: Rain   Poem: Rain Icon_minitimeSun Oct 02, 2011 12:59 pm

Freddy333 wrote:
How is it hard to read...Poem: Rain Broken9999

Maybe try reading over the poem...and see what was needed to be added to it...
(like ,.?! etc....maybe somethings missing from your poem that makes it very hard to read....)
Back to top Go down
Makkine
Moderator
Moderator
Makkine


Posts : 2772
Join date : 2010-05-17
Age : 27
Location : Woah

Poem: Rain Empty
PostSubject: Re: Poem: Rain   Poem: Rain Icon_minitimeSun Oct 02, 2011 1:14 pm

Line breaks:

Poetry needs linebreaks, or it's just flowery prose. Unless you use metre or rhyme, in which case you can still tell it's a poem without the breaks. That's how I'd split it up, but change it if you want a different feel.
Back to top Go down
Sponsored content





Poem: Rain Empty
PostSubject: Re: Poem: Rain   Poem: Rain Icon_minitime

Back to top Go down
 
Poem: Rain
Back to top 
Page 1 of 1
 Similar topics
-
» From the Poem ( Poem i jus thought of) comes tha story! pt.1
» RAIN. {1/23/12}
» My new poem
» my poem
» A Poem i jus thought of....

Permissions in this forum:You cannot reply to topics in this forum
Fantage Forum :: Creations :: Literature-
Jump to: